Rachel Callahan

The Issue of Smock.

March 21, 2011July 30, 2011 Rachel Callahan "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel, Don't Listen to my Fashion Advice, Smocktastic, Utter Silliness

I’ve been saving up my bloggy vacation days for over three years now, and for the first time ever, I’m going to intentionally take a few days off. But don’t worry – while I’m letting my fingers take a Spring Break, I’ll be posting some older re-runs here that most of you probably weren’t around for anyway. Today’s post is only a year old, but it’s seasonally appropriate. So with Easter quickly approaching, let’s all take a moment to ponder and discuss our smock affiliations…

Originally Published March 23, 2010.

(This post is dedicated to my friends Nikki and Ashley, with whom I have had many deep and philosophical conversations about smock.)

My Mom could be a millionaire.

You see, she knows how to smock. Well. And, if you haven’t noticed, smocked clothes have, in some circles, become the epitome of children’s fashion and (can I say it without being mauled) status symbol.

And it doesn’t come without a price, either – you can either buy your smock for $70 at Strasburg Children or a department store, or you can REALLY pay and get it at a local boutique shop for untold amounts of money.

Or, you can step up a level and invest your 401(k) into these clothes that your kids will only get to wear for one season and get custom, personalized smock made just for you.

Which is where my Mom could be a millionaire.

I personally am not a fan of smock. It’s just a personal preference, I know, but it’s just not my thing. Probably because of the fact that I was dressed in smock as a kid, and so smock reminds me of the 80’s.

But really, I think I was born with my smock aversion – I can’t help it – because even in the 80’s, I wasn’t a fan.

I’m pretty sure that Mom quit smocking because she realized that after she would smock her fingers to the bone for weeks and then all night long before Easter morning, I would dutifully and glumly wear it, and if I didn’t manage to spill red Kool-Aid on it or rip it playing “snake” in Sunday School, then I’d beg never to wear it again.

Don’t I look happy?

That may have been my last piece of smock.

Poor Mom.

If only she’d realized that she could have sold that smock for hundreds of dollars to other Moms instead of fighting me wear it…she’d be a millionaire.

At any rate, due to my aversion to the 80’s and smock in general, I usually dress Ali a bit…funkier:

and I tend to replace smock with sequins, much to her excitement:

Not to say that my Mom never dressed me with a bit of non-smocked flair…

Wow. Smock looks good after that.

So, as Easter approaches (which is also basically the National Holiday of Smock), I find myself deeply meditating on the issue of smock.

And here in the South, I would say that there are definite circles of high-smock expectations and low-smock expectations, generally based around the Church you attend.

They may not be spoken guidelines, but as soon as you step foot onto the nursery hallway, you can almost smell it in the air – which smock denomination (smocknomination?) your church falls under:

Smock-Free Churches – These are the young, urban, trendy churches where the adults wear blue jeans and shorts, and so of course they’re not going to out-dress themselves by smocking up their kids.

Smock-Optional Churches – These are accepting-of-all churches that try to go low on the social pressures to dress your children in a certain way. Some kids may have smock, and some kids may not, but no two-year-old points out that another two-year-old looks funny because they aren’t properly smocked.

Smock-Strongly-Suggested Churches – You might feel unspoken social pressures in these churches based on the sheer volume of other children dressed in a smock-like fashion.

Smock-Required until Puberty Churches – These churches might as well require all children, boys or girls, to be wearing smock – and not just on Sunday mornings, either. If your child is seen at the playground, they better be smocked within an inch of their life, even if they are tearing it to pieces with playground rocks.

(Luckily for Ali, we attend a Smock-Optional Church. I’d hate for her to be ridiculed for my quirky fashion tastes.)

If one is a smocky-person, then one must also consider their personal standards regarding the ages of smockability, the gender of smock (yes, boys sometimes are smocked up also), and acceptable alternatives to smock (whether embroidery, personalized initials, and boutique clothes that aren’t smocked are acceptable substitutions on a day where smock isn’t available).

Luckily for my all-too-picky tastes, my Mom did believe in Smock Alternatives:

See? Don’t I look happier?

Disclaimer: The views expressed by this blog post is not necessarily true, and no claims are made that the author believes that you should base your church preferences off of your smock preferences. This post is entirely intended to satirically analyze smock, and not to guide your moral and ethical smock choices. No liability, explicit or implied, shall be extended for any smock-related injuries or offenses.

Oh – and Mom – I’m sorry about all those late night and vastly underappreciated smocks.

A Cadbury Mini-Eggucation.

March 17, 2011March 17, 2011 Rachel Callahan "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel, Actually Possibly Informational, Mystery Solved, The Blissfulness of Life

Every year around Easter, I drool all over Facebook and Twitter regarding the subject of Cadbury Mini-Eggs and their heavenly goodness.

And every year, people say things like..

“Oh yeah, those chocolate eggs with the yolks in them!!”

“I can’t stand their gooeyness.”

“I didn’t know they made those in a smaller size!”

And I mourn for you all.

Cadbury Mini-Eggs are NOT, despite what their name suggests, miniature versions of those vile, yolky Cadbury Eggs.

They are a delightful creation, sure to increase your life quality by a quotient of at least 30% upon the opportunity of your first taste.

They are small – about the size of a Peanut M&M, and have a very uniquely flavored candy coating on the outside, and just chocolate on the inside:

See? There’s nothing funky going on in these eggs.

But the combination of the candy coating and the unique Cadbury chocolate is life-altering.

ESPECIALLY if you let the candy coating dissolve in your mouth for a minute before biting into it – it gives you the most satisfying thin crunch that only adds to the experience…

There are a lot of seasonal treats that I look forward to, (which ones do you look forward to?), but Cadbury Mini-Eggs are the KING of the seasonal treat for me. My husband is aware of my needs, and he MAY have bought me four large bags of them the other night.

And that MAY last me through the end of the week.

So please – for your own good – do not waste another second of your life misjudging my FAVORITE Easter treat and go buy yourself a bag or five – as soon as possible.

You will have a better Spring because of it. I guarantee it.

Infantile Malaise

March 16, 2011March 16, 2011 Rachel Callahan Newbornities, NoahBlogs

Hi – Noah Here.

Normally, I would be maniacally giddy that I got ahold of The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy’s blog again..

But I don’t quite feel like myself right now.

(Plus, it takes a LOT of coordination to suck a paci and type at the same time – you just have no idea.)

The word on the street is that I’ve got a cold.

I didn’t even know what that was, seeing as how I’ve never been sick in my ENTIRE LIFE.

And I’m not even exaggerating.

It all started with this weird sound coming from my nose the other morning while I was eating my breakfast.

slurp, slurp, snoggle. slurp, slurp, snoggle.

I had a rhythm going and everything was working out okay despite that strange noise… until I sneezed.

And the most bizarre thing happened.

This gigantic wad of sticky green stuff came out of my nose!! I’ve never seen anything like it before (but that’s only because I can’t see into my diapers from what I hear), but it was super cool – it coated me and The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy so thickly that we nearly slid off the bed from the slipperiness!!!

Then, after I ate, The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy stuck this long thing in my nose that started sucking my brains out!!!

It was unbelievably rude and intrusive, and I made sure she knew of my complete dissatisfaction with her service.

…which ended up working out well for me, because she felt so guilty for her brain-sucking that she let me wad her hair up in my biggest hairball creation yet!!

It.

Was.

AWESOME.

…Yes, I might have been milking my cold just a TIIINY bit…

But it didn’t benefit JUST me. The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy’s attention being consumed completely with my snoggling nose allowed The Sister Who Calls Herself Ali the opportunity to fairify the Furry Thing:

Okay. Obviously, it worked out for me and Ali – maybe not so much for the Furry Thing.

But at any rate, I haven’t let this cold slow me down. I’ve still been working on my Hollywood audition tapes – I am a professional, after all. I’ve especially been working on my star-studded laugh lately… are you ready for this?

Cute – yes, I’m aware that I have that trait. But the REAL winner of a video would have been if I could have held the camera. Then you would have known what I was laughing AT – that woman can do some ca-RAZY things with her face.

Oh – gotta go – here comes that Woman with the brain sucker again.

In Which I Became Student Work.

March 14, 2011March 14, 2011 Rachel Callahan A Day in the Life, Actually Possibly Informational, I'm a Glutton for Adventure, Just My Luck

There’s something about having a baby and the following attempts to regain a not-sharing-with-another-human body that makes one want to change things up a bit.

Get CRAAAZY.

You know, like put on makeup even if one is NOT leaving the house. And wear clothes that aren’t two sizes too big.

And especially try something new with one’s hair.

The closest I’ve ever come to dying my hair was a demi-permanent sorta-haircolor – that was the exact same shade as my natural hair.

Because I’m wild like that.

But since I’ve been feeling CRAAAZY, I decided it was time to really dive in.

Highlights.

I called my normal salon and asked how much it would cost to highlight absurdly long hair. After recovering from my near stroke, I decided I might be too practical to get CRAAAZY after all.

Then I remembered that my friend Ashley had a good (and very affordable) experience at one of the teaching salons in town.

I looked it up, and sure enough, it was going to be about a fourth of the price of my salon.

So I called.

I made an appointment.

And I started a downward spiral into complete and utter nervous hysteria.

I ALMOST cancelled, but I managed to pry my fingers from the phone.

So I showed up at the salon, feeling very guilty about cheating on my normal hairdresser. She has long, dark hair like me, so I feel like she knows how to cut and style my hair from personal experience.

Maybe my student hairdresser will have long, dark hair…

As I was in mid-thought, my student hairdresser walked up.

Bleach Blond, boy-short.

And she looked like a deer in the headlights.

I mean – she really looked like a deer. She had huge doe-eyes, skinny stilt legs, and looked like she was going to bolt off into the woods if I looked her in the eyes.

Deer took me back to her chair, and we began to talk. I showed her a picture of what I was thinking, and she headed off to find her instructor.

Which gave me ample opportunity to stare at myself in the mirror and completely second guess my the choices that landed me there.

And, of course, I was having an AMAZING hair day – like, the best in ten years. Why screw it up??

The instructor came over and I re-explained what I wanted – highlights, but done underneath the top layer of my hair so that when it grows out without being touched up (and it WILL MOST DEFINITELY grow out without being touched up – Noah doesn’t allow me many trips to the salon), my roots won’t show.

Apparently, Deer had never done this procedure before.

GREEEEEAT.

The instructor showed her how to do it, and Deer began her work.

When I finally felt comfortable enough that I had made enough small-talk to make my concerned question seem a BIT more casual, I asked Deer how long she’d been in school there.

A year – she was 18 days from graduating.

I spent the next few minutes imagining how frightened she must have looked on her first day.

I also asked her how the school worked – did she get paid for cutting my hair?

Nope – she pays tuition for the privilege of cutting my hair, and I pay the school to let her.

(Mental Note: Open a cosmetology school.)

After three hours of foiling, waiting, and rinsing, she began to dry my hair, and I began to notice streaks of what appeared to be Pamela Anderson’s hair mixed in with my dark, dark, dark brown hair.

Not EXACTLY the look I was going for…

The instructor came over.

She watched for a second.

I watched her watch.

Then, she ever-so-tactfully said to me, “Did you know it’s ALWAYS easier to darken than to lighten? It’s totally worth an extra fifteen minutes to get your hair the way it SHOULD be than for you to wait and get it corrected the next time you come in.”

PHEW.

After the drying was finished, me, Deer, and Instructor inspected my hair.

I strongly resembled a Zebra.

Deer looked at Zebra. “I think I might have rinsed out the toner* too quickly.”

And so Deer began to reapply toner to Zebra.

Rewashed, redried, restyled, and I once again resembled a human. Nearly four hours had passed since I’d met Deer. Or four years – it was hard to tell.

But besides the day killing and the temporary species change, it was definitely a worthwhile experience, and I’ll probably go back again.

(Especially since I feel too guilty to go to my normal hairdresser with the evidence of cheating all over my head.)

So now, the Results:

Err… hard to see in a photograph. But they’re there – I promise!

It’s easier to see with the top layer of my hair pulled back:

And that, my friends, is this week’s CRAAAAZY.

* Being that I’m a hair coloring ignoramus, I had no idea what toner did. According to Wikipedia, it “corrects or deemphasizes unintended hair coloring outcomes.” Thank GOODNESS Zebras can be deemphasized**.

** The author does not discriminate based on species, but does prefer to remain in the species in which she was born.

A Contest To Cope With March Madness.

March 13, 2011March 13, 2011 Rachel Callahan Giveaways and Contests

(At this point, I would love to draw a cartoon of a wife, arms crossed, looking angrily at her husband while he is glued to a Basketball game on the television…with the caption underneath the cartoon: “March Madness”. But I can’t draw. So I invite you to imagine that cartoon with me as you read this post…)

(Or you can draw it for me and I’ll totally add it to this post!)

I know it’s been very contesty around here lately, but Spring is the time for excitement! And contests! And guessing! And fun spreadsheets and brackets!!

And Basketball is no exception.

Not that I like the sport – I actually despise it. There’s just nothing interesting about it AT ALL.

(Except for that Giganticasaurically tall player on Mississippi State’s team – I’m pretty sure he is a direct descendant of the Nephilim.)

(Don’t know what a Nephilim is? Shame on you.)

Anyway. Basketball.

Despite my intense avoidance of watching the sport, I absolutely adore filling out brackets for the tournament. Because it’s just so fun to make such an awesome chart, especially on the internet where you get to drag-and-drop the whole thing.

Drag-And-Drop is VERY satisfying.

Plus, it gives me something to look at while Chris has that vile sport on the television.

And actually, my complete basketball ignorance serves me well – I completely swept Chris’ Office bracket a couple of years ago – an office that is composed entirely of guys! Who actually watch the stuff! And know which teams are good!

I invited you all to join in my bracket entertainment last year, and since we had so much fun, I’m doing it again!

But unlike last year, the prize is OH-so-much-better!

CSNStores.com offered to sponsor my Basketball Bracket, and has offered a $110 gift certificate for the winner that can be spent at any one of their 200+ stores!

I always get Spring Shopping Fever around this time – I itch to buy new sandals, outdoor fun (like wood swing sets – something Ali would LOVE), patio furniture.. and all of these things can be purchased at CSNStores.com!

They have an awesomely easy-to-navigate website, free shipping on almost everything, and crazy-good selection!

So.. create a bracket – it’s easy and oh-so-fun – (trust me – the drag and drop will thrill your inner geek!) and be sure to enter your bracket into my group. Whoever ends the tournament with the most points wins the $110 gift certificate to CSNStores.com!!

(And all are welcome to play – even you weirdos people who actually appreciate basketball – my bracket group isn’t JUST for haters.)

AND, it was a lot of fun last year to have the kids play along as well (and their brackets made our brackets look almost decent), so let your kids create their own brackets (you can always get creative in helping them make their choices like I had to do with Ali last year), and whichever kid does the WORST will win a special surprise prize as well!

So. HERE IS THE LINK TO MY GROUP.

Selection Sunday JUST HAPPENED, so you are able to create your bracket starting right now.

But hurry!

You’ll only have until Wednesday Night before ESPN shuts it down for the start of The Tournament of Vileness. So lock in your brackets soon!

Good luck, and let me know if you have any questions or problems joining the group.

Idle Idol Observations.

March 11, 2011March 11, 2011 Rachel Callahan "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel, American Idol, Giveaways and Contests

I haven’t finished watching Wednesday night’s show or even started last night’s show, but I did check out who the vote-off was so that I could post the Predict America’s Pick leaderboard.

And may I say I am REALLY going to miss that fascinating horizontal hair.

If I were a hair socialist, I would absolutely demand that she share the volume.

But anyway, here’s the leaderboard after the first week:

Rank:	Name:
1	Elizabeth Parsons
1	Kim Barg
1	Trish Bogdanchik
1	Elizabeth Hostetler
1	Rebecca Moody
1	Michelle Brose
7	Stephanie Bacon
7	Hannah Jo
7	Jennifer
7	Sharon Ivy
7	Lisa
12	Leanna McClellan
12	mary
12	Rachel (Me)
12	Patty
12	Lianne Robinson
17	Amanda Bosque
17	Elizabeth Keller
17	Shelly Manston
17	Mary @ Parenthood
17	Jennifer Paxton
17	Giann
23	Trista Stewart
23	Bethany Kilcup
23	Diane Haas
23	Lynda Del Castillo
23	Lesley Romans
23	Greta Carter
29	Brandy Bates
30	Cara
30	Brandi Bryant
30	Lindsey Murphy
33	Rebekah Tarbutton
34	Amy Wade
34	Kitty Engle
36	Lauren
36	Stacey Hood
38	Rachel

(And if you’re wondering exactly how I’m ranking, I set up a super geeky spreadsheet that ranks all of the entries on a percentile basis as to how close they were to the correct rank. So since six people said Ashthon would be #13, they are currently tied for first place. And Rachel (who’s never watched Idol and therefore made blind guesses), ranked Ashthon as #1, so she’s currently in last place. (Sorry, Rachel. Non-Watchers totally should have gotten a handicap.) And everyone else is in between them based on how they said that Ashthon would rank.)

Make Sense?

No?

Oh.

And now for a few random thoughts about the show so far (or at least what I’ve gotten to watch of it)…

1. I have trouble concentrating when Pia Toscano sings…

Not because she’s boring, but because she sounds like an Olive Garden Special.

(Thank you to my dear husband for pointing this out.)

Every time she takes the stage, Chris starts narrating a commercial…

“Come in today to try our new special, Pia Toscano!

Angel Hair Pasta covered in our rich and creamy Alfredo sauce, and topped with steak medallions and capers, it is a dish you will remember!

Olive Garden – When You’re Here, You’re family!”

And then her song is over, and I realize I’ve heard none of it because I’m WAY too busy thinking about breadsticks and Alfredo Sauce.

2. The reason that 15 year olds should not be allowed on American Idol: Alphabet Sweaters.

Although still wearing an alphabet sweater at the age of fifteen MIGHT constitute style insanity, so I think Thia is working a devious master plan – she knows she won’t win Idol, so she’s totally selling herself to Disney – she’s the next Afternoon Tween TV Star.

…Which means she’s the next skanky-addict-that-was-formerly-a-Disney-Afternoon-Tween-TV-Star.

Move Over, Lindsey and Miley. Thia’s comin’ through, Alphabet Sweater and All.

(And yes, for those of you who don’t watch Idol, there’s a Pia and a Thia this year. They sound like rhymily-named-twins, no?)

3. If Ali got to watch Idol with us, (which she doesn’t even though Noah does – oh, the unfairness), I know exactly who her favorite Idol star would be.

Jennifer Lopez. Because of her style influencer.

…I guess Thia’s not the only one who wants to be a Disney Star.

Creatively Sharing Easter, And a Giveaway!

March 10, 2011March 9, 2011 Rachel Callahan Giveaways and Contests, Thoughts about Faith

Back in December, I shared a creative set from FamilyLife called “What God Wants for Christmas” that really helped us be able to continuously talk about the true meaning of Christmas with Ali. And now that it’s getting close to Easter, I have a similar product by the same company to share with you: Resurrection Eggs.

I’ve known about these for years because my Mom has used them in Cubbies, but I’ve never actually owned a set. But now I do, and they’re fantastic!

There are twelve eggs in each carton, and a surprise in each egg. The accompanying booklet tells the story of Easter, using the items in the eggs to illustrate.

I love the book’s format because the Easter story is a pretty serious story to tell a four year old, but the way that they wrote it is beautiful. It goes through the entire story, but keeps going back to the fact that Jesus didn’t HAVE to let them hurt Him, but he CHOSE to because He loves us so much. The focus is on Jesus’ love, and not just on his death.

And, of course, the last egg is empty, because it signifies the empty tomb.

(Although I think my Mom put a real baby chick in it one year to signify new life. Her Cubbies kids absolutely LOVED that, so if you have any chicks laying around the house, I highly recommend adding one to your Resurrection Eggs set.)

(Just don’t forget to remove the chick when you put your set up for the year.)

Ali loves the eggs and each item enclosed. The visual cues have really helped solidify the story in her mind, and she can now narrate the entire Easter story as she opens the eggs.

Ali telling me about the Last Supper, based on the Cup in the third egg.

If you’d like to win one of three sets of these Resurrection Eggs, simply leave a comment on this post!

You can get up to three extra entries if you:

Tweet, blog, OR Facebook about this giveaway
Subscribe to OR Follow my blog
Follow me on Twitter OR Facebook

(be sure to leave separate comments for your extra entries.)

If you want to purchase this set, they’re available on Family Life’s website, or you should be able to find them at your local Christian Bookstore.

This giveaway will be open until Monday, March 21st. The winner will be randomly chosen and announced on Tuesday, March 22nd.

Disclosure: I received a set of Resurrection Eggs for review purposes, but was not compensated for this post. My opinions are always my own.

The End of an Era.

March 8, 2011March 13, 2011 Rachel Callahan A Day in the Life, I embarrass myself just for your amusement., Just My Luck, Kids: The Experience.

Four years.

My friend Ashley and I have gone to lunch once a week, every week, with our kids in tow.

Tessa, Ali, AJ, and Noah. Yes, Noah IS in the photo.

Seriously – we’ve missed less than a dozen weeks in FOUR YEARS.

We do fun things with the kids, too – the Zoo, the McWane Center, the Mall…but we always have lunch afterward.

I remember the very first lunch we had – Ali was younger than Noah is now. AJ was three months old and was grabbing at the toys hanging from her car seat. I was insanely jealous of her skills and couldn’t wait for Ali to be able to grasp objects, but the day seemed like it would never arrive.

We knew our lunches were a treat – most of our friends had started having kids much sooner, and had too many kids to make weekly lunches feasible for their personal sanity level. But we only had one each, so it was easy. And even when Ashley had Tessa, it didn’t change much – she fit right into the groove.

But last Tuesday, we simultaneously realized that our weekly lunches had come to an end.

Herein lies the account of our fateful lunch.

12:30pm: Meet at one of our favorites, Baha Burgers. The ordering line was almost out the door. The older girls want to sit outside, so we decide to divide and conquer. I stand in line to order with Noah, and Ashley takes Ali, AJ, and Tessa out to find a table.

12:34pm: I’m still in line. I see a trail of our little people and Ashley headed back inside. She mouths to me: too cold.

12:35pm: I faintly hear the older girls whining about being indoors. Right after they had whined about being outdoors.

12:38pm: Ashley is trying to get Tessa to sit still in her seat – at 18 months, she’s not really at the “sitting still preferred” age. The older girls are entertaining themselves by pouring salt and pepper on the table – something they had thankfully “grown out of” a year or so ago.

12:40pm: Noah starts screaming. The older girls are arguing about whose fire hat is whose. Tessa doesn’t have a fire hat and wants one desperately. I still haven’t ordered.

12:41pm: Almost my turn to order. I look over at the table and see Ali coating her hands in pepper. I try to ignore it.

12:42pm: I can’t block my obsessive envisioning of her rubbing her eyes with peppered hands and screaming for hours on end.

12:43pm: I can’t help it. I call out to her from the line to quit playing in the pepper. She doesn’t hear me. I call louder, looking like a weirdo, but too afraid to lose my place in line.

12:50pm: I finally make it to our table, carrying Noah screaming in his car seat and four drinks without lids. I tell the girls to not touch the drinks until I get lids, envisioning those full cups of lemonade coating their now salted and peppered selves.

12:51pm: I lid the drinks and pass them out.

12:52pm: I sit down, breathe a sigh of relief, and pick up my hamburger to enjoy the first bite, which is, after all, always the best bite.

12:53pm: Bite almost to my mouth when Ali drops her entire cup of lemonade, lid down, directly onto Noah, who had just quit screaming.

12:53pm: Noah, sopping wet, recommences screaming. Ali is screaming “It was an accident!!”, and Tessa is screaming because Ashley is trying to help me de-soak an infant.

It was THE moment.

Ashley and I look at each other and both know: it’s the end of an era.

Everyone else in the restaurant looks at us and wishes we’d realized this one meal sooner.

But it didn’t end there…

1:30pm: I finally managed to finish my lunch, now covered in sticky lemonade, baby spit up and drool (because Noah insisted on being held, and apparently felt a little bit queasy, after his sister-applied-dousing), and my own food (because it’s hard to eat a juicy hamburger while holding a baby).

1:35pm: We’re walking out of lunch, and Ali sees a bucket of sand. A sand box!, she yells. She runs over and starts digging into it, as I, in slow motion, yell out, NOOOOOO…. that’s for cigarette butts!!! She brushes off her hands and insists that they are now completely clean, refusing all treatment. I douse her in wet wipes and hand sanitizer despite her protests.

1:38pm: I get in the car and get a pen out to fill out a bank deposit slip, and the pen leaks all over my hands.

1:39pm: I mentally check out and block the rest of the day from entering my consciousness, for fear of complete loss of sanity.

And so, when life gives your infant lemonade, it’s time to quit going to lunch.

February: A Review, in Conversations.

March 6, 2011March 6, 2011 Rachel Callahan A Day in the Life, Kids: The Experience., The Blissfulness of Life

These types of conversations with Ali can usually be found on B-Sides in my Yittle Fings series, but February was especially noteworthy…

Most Philosophical Statement of the Month:

“When I’m scared in the night and I have a bad dream, I can always count on God… just like people can always count on Team Umizoomi!”

Most Shallow Moment of the Month:

After Ali spent the night at my parent’s house, I asked… “Did you have fun at Gramamma’s house?”

“Yes. I talked to Gramamma and I talked to Pop, but I didn’t talk to Nick [my brother] a lot, because he’s just not my favorite.”

“Why not?”

“Well, he’s only my favorite when he wears a teal shirt, and he wasn’t wearing a teal shirt.”

Most Random comment of the Month:

“My friends don’t touch their bums because they don’t like the smell.”

Most Misunderstood Moment of the Month:

Chris took Ali out for a date the other night, and she recounted a story of disobeying me earlier in the day…

“Did you get in trouble?”

“No. But I DID have consequences.”

Most Awkward Conversation of the Month:

“Mommy, where was I when you were four?”

“You weren’t anywhere. Mommy and Daddy hadn’t made you yet.”

“But you didn’t make me!! God made me!”

“Yes, but God made you by using Mommy and Daddy. He made you out of a tiny piece of Mommy and a tiny piece of Daddy. That’s why you look like us.”

“But I don’t look like Daddy!!! I’m a girl. I look like you!”

“You look like Daddy, too.”

“No I don’t!”

“Yup, a little.”

“Well, where’s the tiny piece of Daddy on me, then?”

“uhh….”

Most Creative Explanation of the Month:

Ali kept scratching all over the other day, so I asked her if she had an itch.

“No, I don’t itch.”

“Well why do you keep scratching, then?”

“Because there are ladybugs inside the blood of my skin and when I feel them, I
have to scratch to get them out. And that’s how it works.”

“How many ladybugs?”

“There are four of them.”

“How did they get into your blood?”

“Well, there’s a little hole that opens up in my toe on THIS foot. They crawl into the blood of my skin through that hole.”

“But when you scratch them it gets them out?”

“No. I can’t get them out. They have to get out on their own.”

“But you said…”

“Only they can get out. They have to go back out the hole in the toe on THIS foot. Then after they get out, they close the hole up REALLY tight behind them so it doesn’t hurt me anymore.”

Predict America’s Pick Contest – $250 in Prizes!

March 4, 2011March 4, 2011 Rachel Callahan American Idol, Giveaways and Contests

I was skeptical about this season’s American Idol.

Could it continue without Simon?

I knew I wouldn’t miss Kara for a tenth of a second, but Simon… he made the show. The only person that would be more of an unforgivable loss than Simon would be Ryan, whom I might have a so-obsessive-that-I-dream-about-him tiny TV-Crush on.

If Ryan ever quits the show, I’m quitting it too.

But I was surprised by this season – pleasantly so. The show has actually been more … calming. Without Simon around, the judges are still entertaining, but they’re never cruelly blunt. It’s a happier place now, and I do like happy places.

Plus, I’m eternally entertained by the fact that one of the judges is the spitting image of an older and even more washed up Captain Jack Sparrow…

And so, to celebrate a fun new type of Idol, I’ve decided to have a contest!

And, since no contest is complete without prizes, I made sure that the prizes are FANTASTIC.

(I’m totally wishing I could win, but I can’t, lucky for you!!)

Y’all know how much I adore NOVICA – I feel like I talk about them all of the time. But in case you’ve missed it, NOVICA is an AMAZING site full of millions of things that I want to own, and I promise that you will, too.

Partnered with National Geographic, NOVICA connects artisans all over the world with us through their awesomely easy-to-use website and their NOVICA Live home shows. And I am constantly stunned by their surprisingly affordable prices! My favorites are their necklaces and earrings – I’ve bought several, and the quality is amazing!! In fact, I’m wearing one of my favorite NOVICA items in my latest Twitter/Facebook picture.

They have so many things that I have literally spent hours browsing their site. But if you don’t have time for that, they have a great Unique Gifts page that helps categorize and sort their products for finding the perfect gift – for someone else or yourself!

So. NOVICA has graciously agreed to sponsor this contest… are you ready for this?

The GRAND PRIZE, which will go to the winner of the contest, is a $200 NOVICA Gift Certificate!!!!

And the Participation Prize, which will go to one randomly chosen participant in the contest, is a $50 NOVICA Gift Certificate!

I’m so excited to be able to offer you such a significant amount of money with which to explore the worlds of awesomeness at NOVICA.

So.. here’s how it’s going to work:

To enter to win the $200 Grand Prize:

I have created an entry form with the top 13 contestant’s names on it. All you have to do is put those contestants in order, from 1-13, of how YOU think they will fare in the contest (1 being the winner, and 13 being the first person eliminated).

(You actually don’t even have to watch single episode of Idol to enter – just guess! You might do better than the rest of us, since America can be a bit unpredictable.)

You only have six days in which to fill out an entry form – the contest will be closed at the start of the first top 13 performance – Wednesday night, March 9th.

CLICK HERE to go to the entry form.

I will keep up with everyone’s picks and will publish a leaderboard each week after eliminations. The person with the most accurate picks after the final show will win the $200 Gift Certificate!!

If there is a tie, the Grand Prize will go to the person with the most eligible participation prize entries (to be explained below). If there is still a tie, one of the tying winners will be selected randomly.

To enter to win the $50 Participation Prize:

You can be entered into the participation prize anytime between now and next Wednesday by helping get the word out! You get one entry for each of the following:

Tweet about the contest, linking back to this post.
Facebook about the contest, linking back to this post.
Blog about the contest, linking back to this post.
Follow NOVICA on Facebook or Twitter.
Follow me on Facebook or Twitter.
Subscribe to or Follow my blog.
Enter to win the Grand Prize (your entry for the grand prize counts as one participation entry as well).

*** Be sure to leave a comment on this post for each entry that you earned by doing the above items!!! ***

Also, you get FIVE entries for each person that says they found out about the contest from you! (There’s a field on the entry form for them to give you credit.)

The Participation winner will be chosen randomly from all of the Participation Entries.

And now that I’ve completely confused everyone…

Start Entering!! And Good Luck!!

Disclaimer: I was not compensated in any way for my nice words about NOVICA – my opinions are always my own, and I seriously love their site.