Grasping For Objectivity

My Experiment With Red Light Therapy.

Two months ago I had chronic and continuous back pain (caused by dozens of recurring muscle knots) - I was seeing a Physical Therapist regularly, taking a muscle relaxer at night, 1-2 doses of ibuprofen a day, and having to take 1-2 heating pad breaks every day.  I also had sharp hip flexor pain when I [...]

The Dilemna Dilemma.

I hated English in school, and I don’t expect that my blog follows the rules of the AP Stylebook – like, ever. I have endless grammar quirks that I am positive make my journalist friends secretly despise me. However, I have always been a fantastic speller. I’m convinced that spelling is something you’re born with […]

How to Use Essential Oils: A Step-By-Step Guide.

1. You will receive your first (and second, third, and four hundredth) introduction to Essential Oils via your favorite social network – most likely Facebook. This glorious day in your life will occur when you happen to mention any form of personal discomfort. A headache, scabies, a sword wound, or split ends. If the stars […]

35 Things to Do in Birmingham.

I’ve lived in Birmingham my entire life. Seriously – even college. The longest I’ve ever been away from this city was six weeks at the age of 16 when I went overseas. As a kid, Birmingham was clearly a dying city. My parents told stories of what it once was, but it was impossible to […]

The Home Invasion.

Sunday afternoon. Noah was lazily waking up from his nap, I was finishing a couple of blog posts, Ali was having quiet time, and Chris was out running. It was a calm, lovely day. Noah started moaning, so I went to retrieve him. He was crying by the time I arrived, which led to cuddling. […]

Moist: The Interview.

A couple of months ago, I mentioned my favorite graffiti sighting in Birmingham, Moist. I have an appreciation for well-written, non-obscene graffiti, and found it to be rather brilliant that someone would take the most hated and eye-catching word in the human language and use it for their tag. Consequently, I keep an eye out […]

Have a Happy Vasectomy.

Disclaimer: My husband and I created this post to be a public service for the world. However, you know the topic of this post, so if you feel it might offend you, feel free to move along. Otherwise, read at your own risk.   1. Pay no attention to the hobbling, saddle-sore gentleman leaving the […]

So Maybe I Talk Weird.

  Last Saturday, I tweeted and Facebooked a passing thought about how to pronounce “pajamas”, thinking that most people would agree with me. They did not. And I learned something that day: more people should talk like me. Okay maybe not. But I did decide that I should at least list out the rest of […]

We All, Like Sheep, Have Crafted Astray.

So. You remember those crafting support letters that Ali sent out? Well, before I found out about them and had time to text everyone an apology and assure them that they didn’t need to send craft supplies to my beggar daughter, my Mom, who never sees any bad in anyone, had already interpreted the letter […]

How a Turd in the Tub Saved my Saturday Night.

Despite my philosophies on bathing, Noah has now pooped in the tub three times in his nearly two {extraordinarily long} years on this earth.  After the first two occurrences, I soothed the trauma of having to endure such Crimes Against Momanity by blogging about them. But I am blogging about the third occasion due to […]

The Perils of The Park.

When I woke up Saturday morning, Chris came to talk to me about the day’s plans. “So it’s relatively not-too-hot outside, and it’s not supposed to rain, so I was thinking we should take the kids to the park.” I groaned. “The park?  It’s Saturday.  There’s going to be a birthday party going on – […]

An Inconvenient Gap of Truth.

  Nearly every denim makeover I’ve done ends with the same conversation. “I had no idea what a difference it would make – I thought I was safe with Gap jeans!” Or, “Oh my goodness why didn’t anyone tell me I was wearing Mom Jeans?? I thought that as long as I was shopping at […]

How It Feels to be Hated By a Celebrity.

Wednesday night on Twitter, I broke my silence about this deeply painful issue when I told my friend Trina all about my shame and sorrow.  So I decided that since it was already out there, I might as well admit it here. I’ve been blocked on Twitter by Travel Channel star Adam Richman. Meaning that […]

The Turkish Connection.

After booking any trip out of town, the first thing that Chris and I do is look for the local Greek restaurant. I was brought up on Greek food – “Yes you will eat lamb, and you will like it!!”, and I adore it with all of my being. And Chris, being that he is […]

The Chuck.

E. Cheese, that is. Chris and I made it four years, ten months, and three days into our parenting career without crossing his threshold.  And we were well pleased with ourselves. Then we received an invitation to a good friend’s son’s birthday party.  A friend that Ali would be disappointed to miss his celebration. (A […]

Dr Pepper TEN: An Investigative Report.

On our trip to Atlanta last weekend, Chris and I were introduced, via the ripe discovery grounds of a Quickie Mart, to Dr Pepper TEN. Being an avid Diet Drink Hater up until this year, I’m still trying to discover ones that I can stomach, and possibly even enjoy.  And Dr Pepper TEN was delicious […]

Can’t Buy Me Love.

The CEO of my bank is a Tween Girl. She is sitting at the top of her skyscraper downtown in her pink bedazzled office suite, chewing Bubble Yum, flipping through her Justice catalog, painting her nails a fabulous shade of Purple Me Tender, and talking on her jewel-cased iPhone. “I know, like, right?? He is […]

Ambassadors for Honesty About Parenthood.

She was standing, staring listlessly at the merchandise on the children’s medicine aisle at CVS. As I searched for Ali’s Ibuprofen, she turned to me and asked, “How do you know what to buy?  I mean, there are so many options.  It’s just overwhelming!” I looked into her eyes for the first time.  She looked […]

My Break From BlogHer.

I have been known to break my nose whilst blogging. I have also been known to visit the emergency room at wee hours due to sleepwalking injuries. I like sticking to a theme. Which is why, I suppose, I took this weekend as an opportunity to break my nose, while sleepwalking, while at a blogging […]

Common Crazy and The Talking Breast Pump.

There’s a phenomenon in life that I’ll call The Common Crazy.  The Common Crazy are all of the things that the majority of us do or think, but are afraid to admit to, because we think we might be the only ones who do or think them, and therefore, everyone else will TOTALLY think we’re […]

Kiosk Warfare: A Guide for Survival.

The mall is a glorious place for Moms of young children. Akin to an indoor playground for both Mother AND Child, it is full of glee-filled places such as Toy Stores, hot dog trucks, carousels, and, of course, shopping. But it doesn’t come without it’s risks – without the dangers of attack. The Kiosk Predators. […]

How to Act When They’re Expecting.

There’s something about being around a pregnant woman that makes some people lose all sense of proper manners, including (and sometimes especially) strangers. Maybe it’s the pregnancy pheromones wafting through the air….I don’t know. But it’s uncanny, and it only gets worse as the pregnancy continues. Being only 15 weeks along myself, my level of […]

Uncle Joe’s Tot Locker: An Investigative Report.

We have been having an exceedingly odd Winter here in Alabama. In a state where we’re lucky if we get snow once a decade, we have had half a dozen snow predictions in the past three months. And it was because of these unheard of winter conditions that Uncle Joe’s Tot Locker found it’s way […]

Geography, Pre-K Style.

Since the debut of our “states” fun back in April, a lot of people have asked about our progress. So, I finally remembered to videotape it. This project was simple:  Two or three mornings a week, I would pull out our states placemat.  I would place a small treat on a state, and if Ali […]

Mom Jeans and the Dreaded “Long Butt”

UPDATED: A Plus Sized Sequel was published on October 12, 2012.  Click here to read that post. A few months ago during one of our more “social” small group gatherings (in which all of the guys tend to gravitate to the kitchen to be closest to the snacks while the girls sit in the living […]