The Blog Post That Never Was.

Disclaimer: Not for the faint of heart.  Or men.  In fact, I don’t recommend reading this post at all.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I have finally completed the weaning process. This was harder than I expected – not for Noah, but for me.  The reality that he is most likely my last child […]

It’s Like Doing Laundry With A Baby…

The following is a true story. Unless there are any segments which you find to be terrible acts of parenting. In that case, those parts aren’t true. 3:29 PM: Mommy settles into laundry closet, with Baby in tow, to attempt to fold one load of laundry. 3:30: Baby picks up and eats a piece of […]

A Compromise of Morals.

I swore that I would never do it. Besides the commercials being completely and absolutely disturbing, They were voted, by you, to be Mom Jeans. And they are – Mom Jeans for Babies. The washed denim – horrifically 80’s. The Pocket Placement – deplorably Bill Blass-esque. (If your pocket gets lost in a wedgie, you […]

Mommy Benefits Package.

United Mommy’s Union (UMU) New Policies and Announcements August 2011 Dear UMU Members, I hope that you have all had a wonderful summer full of perfectly behaved children who spent their days idyllically reveling in their summer vacations, but are now thrilled to be back in school and studying up a frenzy.  Right? We realize […]

Ambassadors for Honesty About Parenthood.

She was standing, staring listlessly at the merchandise on the children’s medicine aisle at CVS. As I searched for Ali’s Ibuprofen, she turned to me and asked, “How do you know what to buy?  I mean, there are so many options.  It’s just overwhelming!” I looked into her eyes for the first time.  She looked […]

Baby v. Food

Hi! Noah Here. And welcome to Baby v. Food! I’m a food fanatic who’s only been eating for about two months, but I haven’t yet met anything I didn’t like to eat – food or otherwise. Now I’m on a mouthwatering journey to pig out as often as possible, and take on the Mommy’s most […]

Baby Tips, 2.0

Prequels: Baby Tips Toddler Tips Baby Tips, 2.0 You will have a lot to teach your baby over the years, so it’s never too soon to start.  Especially regarding complicated matters, such as The Facts of Life. Older siblings are also helpful in teaching Baby, but take care that you leave them in a safe, […]

The Grandparent Effect.

Kids. You send them to the Grandparents for a few days, and you miss ‘em like crazy. You can’t WAIT to pick them up, knowing that they’ll run to you, jump into your arms, and hug you, showering their undying affection upon you. Then you arrive, and you are quickly reminded of The Grandparent Effect. […]

A Seven-Decade Hand-Me-Down.

1954: Pop (my Dad), Two Years Old, in the days of hand-tinted blush – either that, or babies wore makeup back then. 1980: Uncle JC, One Year Old. (Apparently, Pop lost his belt sometime in the wild 60’s.  And, hopefully, the liberal makeup usage.) (JC required rehab after those old man compression socks were pried […]