Rachel Callahan

The Cattle are Glowering…

December 9, 2009 Rachel Callahan I embarrass myself just for your amusement., Just My Luck, Storytime

The year was 1987. I was six years old, and there was a huge opportunity coming up that could greatly advance my acting career.

The Homeschool Christmas play.

I desperately desired the part of Mary. There was nothing more in the WORLD that I wanted to do with my life than to play Mary in this ever-prestigious production. I practiced my part in the privacy of my room – looking holy, quiet, and angelic while clasping my hands and adoring my baby doll. I had it down pat.

The day for casting came. I couldn’t wait to find out that I would get chosen for the part as Mary!

They announced – it would be Rachel…Tingles went up my spine…and then they said the last name.

It was another Rachel.

She was two years older than me, with beautiful blond curly hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and a perfect Cindy Crawford lip freckle – the kind that we all wanted in the 80’s.

I was devastated. Sure, she was more beautiful than me, but come on, people – we all know that Mary wasn’t a blond!

Was it the freckle? Because I can draw one on.

And then, they announced my role. I made the play all right – I would be… The cow.

Hey – at least I wasn’t the Donkey.

And really, I was lucky NOT to be the Donkey, as it appears that it was in my genes:

I wonder what my Mom’s reaction was when my Dad suggested that costume pairing….

At any rate, back to the play.

My part in the play would be to look on ~~enviously~~ adoringly as Mary portrayed her holy hand-clasped self, and then when Away in a Manger got to the line about “The Cattle are Lowing”, I had my big debut: I was to lay down.

…but I was so distracted by being jealous of Mary that I totally forgot to lay down – the donkey had to remind me. I was completely mortified for the rest of the play at my not meeting my own performance expectations. I didn’t deserve to be Mary.

However, despite my clarity of memory about being a cow, I did NOT remember that I did have another part in the play until I found this picture:I was apparently a violin-playing cow.

I really missed my acting career opportunity – if only I could have gotten on with Chick-Fil-A at the beginning of their cow campaigns, I could have realized my potential after all.

We of course had a wild and crazy after-party, where Mary was looking as smug as ever about her leading role:

Oddly enough, the donkey looked even more smug.

Obviously, she had lower expectations of her acting career than I did.

If you’re in the Birmingham area and would like to go to a much higher quality Christmas play than the one above, our Church is performing one of my favorite childhood Christmas stories, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever”, this Sunday, December 13th at 10 am. Click here for details. And don’t worry, I’m not in it showcasing my amazing bovine acting abilities.

My Journey Over to the Crimson Side.

December 8, 2009 Rachel Callahan Football and I have a Complicated Relationship

The weather was freeze-your-eyeballs cold* on Saturday. It was even supposed to do something that NEVER happens in December in Alabama or Georgia: It was actually supposed to snow.

*this means about 40 degrees in the South, by the way. I know that you northerners manage to keep your eyeballs thawed at MUCH lower temperatures, but it is a scientific fact that the freezing point for eyeballs is much higher the further South that you go.

It actually did snow a little back home in Alabama (sad that we missed it), but no snow in Atlanta. It might as well have, though – it sure felt like it.

If you’re wondering why I had such a good attitude about going to the game, it’s because it was….indoors. (Can you hear the angels singing a song of Hallelujahs? I sure did.)

When we headed out to the game, you know that I couldn’t help doing a bit of “fashion” watch for you.

This girl’s skirt was…barely in existence:

Just a WEE bit short – that’s all. But if you take a bit of shortness and add a pinch of rearview message, you end up with a recipe for priceless.

When I saw this next guy, I had never been so glad that my husband’s minimum temperature for wearing shorts was 40 degrees, because I would NOT like him to feel the need to wear geezer socks (with high-top tennishoes, no less!) simply to hold fast to his principles regarding short wearage:

Yeesh.

Chris told me that we had lucked into having Club Level seats, something that we were both very excited about after being at the VERY top row of the stadium on our last trip to Atlanta.

We got up there, showed our tickets, and they let us into the most amazing VIP-lounge-in-a-football-stadium ever:

The bathrooms were not all cement, floods, and decorated with dirty wads of toilet paper like all other football stadium bathrooms I’ve ever been to – they were marble, had a seemingly-full-time bathroom-maintenance lady on hand, and even had flat screen televisions!!

(I’m sure the maintenance lady doubted my accustomedness to such fineries when I took a picture of the bathroom.)

Oh – and the food was amazing:
BUT right after ordering our food and then trying to figure out how in the world to get to our seats, we found out that we were NOT, after all, “in” The Club, and were politely pointed towards our non-clubby hallway.

What we learned from this: Acting like you know that you’re in the club will get you into the club. Acting like you don’t know how to get around in the club will get you kicked out of the club.

Oops. It was nice while it lasted.

The game began with both bands performing the National Anthem – a beautiful sight:

And then… I changed.

Normally, I would spend the rest of the post talking about fashion faux pas that I saw during the game, and observations about Florida’s band marching in the formation of fallopian tubes and ovaries and the fact that it looked like their flag girls were wearing thongs…but…it all faded away.

Because….as unbelievable as this sounds…

I actually engaged with the football game.

Completely.

I couldn’t believe it – it was as if my football drive suddenly returned.

I was standing up, cheering, and watching every play with excitement and anticipation….

I was a football fan again – something that I haven’t been in three years.

And it felt good.

Maybe it was because it’s been three years since I’ve been to a game where everything went right for our team…maybe it was the excitement in the stadium…or maybe my football drive is back for good, just in time for the season to be over.

But I know one thing: it makes for a happy hubby to have an excited-about-football wife.

Then again, maybe he was just happy about the game.

I’m going to pretend it was me.

Anyway, here are a few pictures I got of the ACTUAL football game. (Weird, huh? It’s okay – I’m not used to this interested-in-football-me either.)

At the fourth quarter beginning:

The end, with all of the confetti everywhere:

Chris’ Aunt and Uncle after the game:

Chris and his new excited-about-football wife:
And all six of us:

The stark difference in the Florida and Alabama sides of the stadium:

And the cheerleaders making snow angels in the confetti:

After all of that excitement, we went and had a nice quiet dinner at Copeland’s (I know – you would think Chris would have wanted to go do more belly-dancing after that victory), where we all engaged in deep conversations:

…or maybe we just all caught up on our social media.

At least I’m not the only addict of the family.

For Better or Worse, In Football and in Health…

December 7, 2009 Rachel Callahan Football and I have a Complicated Relationship, I'm a Glutton for Adventure

Chris and I started out our Saturday morning leading up to The Big Game eating breakfast in the lobby of our hotel, the Embassy Suites.

(We were at the Embassy Suites because the Hyatt Place was a horrible hotel and canceled our reservations along with 26 other people’s after they were already confirmed AND paid for because they had a wishy-washy group that wanted to extend their stay, and so Expedia made up for Hyatt’s missing integrity and paid for the difference for us to stay at the Embassy Suites, even though it was obviously Hyatt’s fault. The moral of this parenthetical story is: Use Expedia and DON’T book with Hyatt.)

(Unless you want a room at the Embassy Suites. Because that WAS nice.)

It was a lovely atrium hotel – the type that echoes crazily in it’s 16 floor openness.

At breakfast, it was all Florida fans but us. It was a nice quiet breakfast – no raucousness or jeering of fans. After all – it’s the Embassy Suites – even fans act classy in places like that.

We headed back up to our floor – the fourth – after breakfast, and as we walked along the balcony looking down at the sea of Florida fans still enjoying their sophisticated and quiet breakfast, Chris told me, “Go ahead and keep walking. You don’t want to be around when I do what I’m about to do.”

So I walked on ahead, and in my mind I was thoroughly convinced from my knowledge of my husband that he was about to pass gas.

(Come on, wouldn’t all wives think that when their husband gave those instructions?)

I WAS wondering why he couldn’t wait 50 feet until we were in the privacy of our room, but whatever.

I walked on ahead without looking back, and then all of a sudden, I hear a bellowing sound that temporarily paralyzed me.

Chris’ loudest, most booming, yet playful voice that he’d ever managed to bring forth from his lungs bellowing down to the breakfasters, “ROOOOOOLLLLL

TIIIIIDDDEE!!!!!!”

Ohmygoodness.

Did that seriously just happen? At the EMBASSY SUITES?!?!!?”

I walked as fast as I could past our room – anywhere just to further distance myself.

There’s an immediate murmur from the floors beneath us, all looking up, trying to locate the foghorn-voiced Alabama fan.

Chris hurried into our room laughing all the way, just in time for me to hear a female Florida fan say, “I think he ran that way.”

Needless to say, I deadbolted our door.

And, after I recovered from my near heart attack, I MIGHT have had a little giggle with him.

The funny thing is, he would have never done that if he thought we were going to win – it was, I believe, his effort to “support his team in spite of the fact that they were going to lose.”

Luckily for me (and all of the Florida fans in our hotel), he’s always the poster-child of a polite, complimentary, and even sincere condolence-giving fan after a win.

But, STILL before the game, we went over to the mall – quite a huge mall at that – and as we were going up the escalator in Bloomingdales, looking down three floors beneath us at a sea of people dressed for the game, I saw another glint in his eye.

“No, no NO! You can NOT do it again!”

“Why not?!”

“We are PAYING the Embassy Suites for you to have the right to do that. We are NOT paying Bloomingdale’s. This is MY part of the day and I want to shop in non-humiliated peace.”

Later on, he said he wanted to go to the Apple store, and I wanted to go to Macy’s, so we split up. I can’t help but wonder if he took another ride on that Bloomingdale’s escalator…

Alabama, Meet Greece.

December 5, 2009July 5, 2019 Rachel Callahan Delicious Greekness, Football and I have a Complicated Relationship, I'm a Glutton for Adventure, Uncle Leo

Chris and I are in Atlanta this weekend for the SEC Championship game.

(At this point, I WOULD say that I am fully prepared to comfort my husband in his mourning after the game tonight, but I already got roasted on Facebook for saying that. It’s just that my opinion about the facts trump my admittedly weak fandom…I can’t help it. But I genuinely hope you can ALL come back and tell me how so very wrong I was. Truly. For my husband’s sanity.)

At any rate, Chris’ Aunt Kitty and Uncle (Toenail Art) Leo are here as well. Our plans were to go to our favorite Atlanta experience, Taverna Plaka Friday night for dinner. And between Chris and Leo, about 15 extra guests were invited as well, all Alabama fans here for the game.

If you’ve been around here a while, you already know that my family is Greek, and Chris and I both adore Greek culture and food. Taverna Plaka showcases both like no other. From flaming cheese to belly-dancing to whole families (including children) dancing on the tables to throwing napkins and yelling “OPA!!!”, it’s the epitome of the culture that you all came to know and love in My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

And, since we had 15 first-time guests, Chris, who is all about showing southern hospitality in every situation, was very intent on making sure that they got the full experience.

Chris’ friend Tim and co-worker Dax were a bit shy of the belly-dancer at first…

Leo, having been there before, had no such qualms.

One round of belly-dancing passed, we finished our amazing dinners, and no one had gotten on any of the tables.

This concerned Chris greatly.

He just didn’t feel like his dinner guests were getting their money’s worth.

So when he saw the belly-dancer headed back out, he asked me if I would dance on the table with him if he could get the belly-dancer to join us.

Let’s see….I’ve had bronchitis for over a week…I’m basically hacking up carpenter’s glue…I am the worst dancer in the whole world due to a severe lack of the rhythm chromosome, and…call me a curmudgeon. I can take it.

But I willingly agreed to let HIM dance on the table…and I’d be his loving and supportive photographer.

And so…

Yes.

He was a natural.

I think he may have been taking belly-dancing lessons without telling me.

Now I know exactly what to get him for Christmas: A “Prince Ali, Mighty is He…” Aladdin-esque Belly-Dancing Outfit. Mm hmm.

Leo couldn’t resist the fun that Chris was obviously having, so he cut in:

I THINK he might have been teaching her the hokey-pokey, but I’m not quite sure.

Needless to say, there are 15 Alabama fans that are now more educated on my husband’s booty-shaking talents the Greek culture than they may have ever wanted to be.

Oh…wait…you wanted videos?

Lucky you. I’ve got ‘em.

Chris…

And Leo…featuring his blinking Alabama Elephant tie – it really makes the dance pop, don’t you think?

Welcome to Greece.

THE Christmas Concert of the Year…and a Giveaway!

December 4, 2009 Rachel Callahan Actually Possibly Informational, Giveaways and Contests, The Blissfulness of Life

Birmingham is the home of a lot of very talented musicians, and at the top of that list are the artists involved with Red Mountain Music.

Red Mountain Music is a group of musicians from the community that come together and make stunning and modern arrangements of little-known hymns.

The hymns are so deep in their language and thought, and the music is so beautiful that the combination is a truly worshipful experience.

One of my best friends in the world, Ashley Spurling (Mom of AJ, Ali’s best friend and blog co-star), is their primary vocalist, and if you have ever heard Ashley sing, you would know that her breathtaking talent increases the spectacular quality of their music even further.

Red Mountain Music travels all over the country performing concerts, and are very well known in the music community, so I feel VERY privileged that they are in my hometown.

Last year, Red Mountain Music made a Christmas CD (a few of you might have won it here). They also performed a Christmas Concert at Workplay that Chris and I attended. It was by far the most “Christmasy” thing we did all season.

The concert was amazing, the Workplay venue is intimate and romantic (if you haven’t sat in one of their romantic booths and cuddled up while listening to Christmas music, you haven’t lived!!), and there couldn’t have been anything better to get us in the Christmas spirit.

This year, they’re giving the concert again, except this time, they’ll be mixing in their regular music with the Christmas show, so it will be a wonderful sampling of all of Red Mountain Music.

The date is December 21st at 8pm at Workplay. Tickets are only $5, a steal of a price to get to experience such superior talent. If you’re in the Birmingham area, this really is a show that will complete your Christmas – I promise!

….just don’t take all of the cozy booths before Chris and I arrive.

But, whether you’re in Birmingham or not, I want you to have the opportunity to enjoy Red Mountain’s music. They were gracious enough to provide 5 CD Prize packs for me to give away to you!

Each prize pack includes two CDs: a copy of their Christmas CD, Silent Night, and a copy of This Breaks My Heart of Stone.

To experience their music and to get into the Christmas spirit, here are some samples of their Christmas album (Ashley sings all of the vocals on this album, so you’ll get to see what I mean about her amazing voice):

And here are the sample clips from This Breaks my Heart of Stone:

To enter the contest to win one of the five CD sets, simply leave a comment on this post!

For up to four extra entries,

Follow Red Mountain Music on Facebook
Subscribe to OR Follow my blog
Follow me on Twitter OR Facebook
Tweet, blog, OR Facebook about the giveaway

(be sure to leave separate comments for your extra entries.)

Best of luck! This giveaway is open until Monday, December 14th. The five winners will be selected randomly and announced on Tuesday, December 15th.

By the way, RMM has some great Christmas promotions going on if you are interested in giving their CD’s away as Christmas presents (or want some for yourself) – be sure and check it out!

And if you’re in Birmingham, I promise you will be SO glad that I talked you into going to the concert!!

I was not compensated in any way to write this post. I sincerely and with all of my heart love Red Mountain Music, and simply want to share it with you.

Everyone Remembers Their First Crime.

December 3, 2009 Rachel Callahan Just My Luck, Parent of the Year, Toddlers: The Experience

Police Report

December 2, 2009, 11:15 am CST

Perpetrator: Alana Grace

Aliases: Ali, Princess, Baby, Ali-Girl.

Description of Suspect: Two years old, Curly hair, blue eyes, huge head, dimple on right side of face.

Location of Crime: The Disney Store, Riverchase Galleria

Stolen Items: Cell Phone, Car encased in rubber sphere.

Description of Crime: Suspect was being allowed to play in the Disney Store and get her grimy hands all over the merchandise. Suspect’s “responsible” adult (SRA) was talking to Suspect’s friend’s responsible adult.

The two adults decided it was time to go eat, so told suspect and friend that it was time to go.

The party of four headed SSW on foot. SRA and friend continued their conversation on the way to the food court, paying little attention to the suspect.

Upon arrival to the food court, suspect was found to be holding this:

The SRA immediately freaked out upon realization that her two year old was not only a thief, but a very successful one.

The SRA then took items, gave a hasty explanation to confused suspect that you’re not allowed to take things out of stores, and then ran back to Disney store to return the stolen merchandise before the SWAT team with mouse ears caught up with them.

The SRA was going to explain to a store clerk what happened, but there seemed to be no one that cared. They seemed much too busy with all of the other toddlers and their grimy hands all up in their toys.

Sentence: Since suspect had no previous criminal record and showed remorse upon the return of the SRA (“I’m sorry. I’m not supposed to take things out of stores!”), the suspect was booked and then released.

The responsible adult, however, was downgraded from an SRA to an SIA.

Somebody Read the Instructions Backwards When They Installed Our Brains.

December 2, 2009 Rachel Callahan Quirky quirky quirkiness, Toddlers: The Experience

When I first learned to write, I wrote everything right to left, mirror image. Mom and Dad had piles of notes I wrote them that were completely and perfectly backwards.

In fact,

(Okay, maybe not neatly, but easily.)

Mom always thought that I was mildly dyslexic as a kid, and even current day, every now and then when I’m writing, I’ll be thinking of the letters in the right order, but I’ll write them in the wrong order.

I always attributed my “uniqueness” to being left-handed, since we’re a pretty quirky bunch anyway. Until I had a right-handed child…

Enter Ali:

She hasn’t shown any interest in attempting to write letters until recently, but she’s always loved forming them (out of putty, necklaces, whatever is bendable). She also likes fridge magnets for spelling.

However, every time she puts her name on the fridge, she does this:

When I ask her what it says, she says “A-L-I Ali!”, and looks at me like I’m ridiculously underqualified to be an M-O-M Mom.

Now that she’s finally interested in writing, I’m getting to see how backwards her brain really is:

That’s right – she took my backwardness to a whole new level – writing backwards AND upside down?! I didn’t know that was even possible. She’s done this several times now, and it stuns me.

And no, I wasn’t sitting across the table (hence causing me to write upside-down and her trying to imitate me) – I was sitting right next to her.

Maybe we have some Arabic Genes in us – they write right to left.

Or maybe the Angel on that part of the baby assembly line accidentally picked up our brains out of the Arab bin instead of the American bin. They’re probably right next to each other if the bins are in alphabetical order, after all.

That angel was probably just slightly dyslexic, poor guy.

I understand.

United Toddler’s Union

December 1, 2009July 7, 2011 Rachel Callahan Parent of the Year, The Unions of Family, Toddlers: The Experience, Utter Silliness

United Toddler’s Union (UTU)

New Policies and Announcements

December 2009

To all UTU Members:

Hello and congratulations on making it to another December. We know you don’t understand months and calendars and such, but trust us: this is the month that all toddlers dream of. The month where your parents are actually listening closely to the things you say that you want so that they can toil in long lines and sit in traffic to buy them for you to make your Christmas dreams come true.

Be sure to enjoy this month. Enjoy it well.

But don’t get so caught up in the euphoria of the season that you neglect your Union Duties.

We have a few new policies and procedures in place that we want to make sure everyone is putting into practice.

First of all: We have noticed an increase in parents answering questions without thinking about them first. To counteract this alarming trend, we are immediately enacting an across-the-board source checking policy. It doesn’t matter how unimportant the question is, or if you already know the answer (after all, aren’t 90% of toddler questions unnecessary because the answer is already known?) – check your sources!!

For example, all conversations should go as follows:

Toddler: “Daddy, What’s that ornament?”

Daddy: “That’s a snowman riding a bicycle.”

Toddler: “Mommy, what’s that ornament?”

Mommy: “That’s a snowman riding a bicycle.”

Toddler: “Daddy, what color is this light?”

Daddy: “You know what color it is – it’s red.”

Toddler: “Mommy, what color is this light?”

Mommy: (sound effect of parent dying a little inside)

Toddler (louder): “Mommy, what color is this light?”

Mommy: (whimper) “Red.”

We HAVE found that these repeated unnecessary questions and redundant source checking may have harmful side effects to the mental health of the parents concerned, but we don’t feel that the risks are adverse enough to be concerned about at this point.

Second Policy change: Set all of your questions on repeat mode until you get an answer. Also, only leave one tenth of a second in between repetitions of said question to basically make it impossible for the parent to even form the answer in their mind before the third repeat of the question.

Example:

Toddler: “Can I have some pink Ice Cream? Can I have some pink Ice Cream? Can I have some pink Ice Cream?”

Parent (who, if you have your settings correct, should actually have to INTERRUPT the fourth cycle of the question to answer the previous one): “No, baby – you just ate cake. And just ask once, please.”

Toddler: “Can we go to Gramamma’s? Can we go to Gramamma’s? Can we go to Gramamma’s?”

Parent: “No, it’s naptime, baby.”

Toddler: “Can we read one more book? Can we read one more book? Can we read one more book?”

Which brings us to our third policy modification: I’m sure that you’ve noticed that a large amount of children’s books have veered away from the traditional core of “teach values to toddlers” and now are more geared towards “guilt parents into thinking that they stink as parents and need to immediately do more for their toddler”. Especially the books sent by Dolly Parton’s reading program. Be sure to always pick one of these guilt-ridden books when asking for your last read before bed, all while giving guilt-inducing puppy-dog eyes.

Example books include:

“Momma Will You?” – the whole point of this book is the child asking ~~annoyingly~~ repeatedly to do things, and the Momma answering so lovingly and doing even MORE for the child than they even asked.
“I Love You Mommy” and “I Love You Daddy” – full of reasons why a toddler would love their parent, therefore making the parent feel the need to immediately take said toddler to the park, play basketball with them, and take them on a weeklong camping trip to attain their undying toddler affection.
And, of course, the sibling books. To really get those parents of yours to hurry on up and produce you a sibling.

That sums up the changes for this month. If you notice any mental stability changes in your parents from these new policies, be sure to report it immediately so that we can get our Secret Union Representative, Dolly Parton, to send some more guilt-ridden books ~~your~~ their way.

Enjoy your holidays, and be sure to ask for one of those freaky electronic hamster things!

Sincerely,

The United Toddler’s Union.

Has Anyone Ever Told You That You Look JUST Like…

November 29, 2009 Rachel Callahan "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel

As far as I can tell, everybody looks like SOMEBODY. If you’ve never been stopped by a complete stranger or a new acquaintance for them to ask “Has anyone ever told you that you look JUST like…?”, then you must be the most uniquely featured person on the planet.

And I mean that in a good way, of course.

I really think that most of the time when people say that, they are just picking up on one or two key features that remind them of other people. In fact, it used to drive me crazy that people would say “Ali looks JUST LIKE Chris!!”, when really she had all of my features but one – his very characteristic (and beautiful) eye shape.

I have heard fairly regularly that I look like four different people, although some comparisons are not so appreciated as others.

So, for review, here I am:

And now, people that “they” say I look like:

1. The one that I WISH “they” were right about:

Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls, Tuck Everlasting, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants). I would LOVE to look like her, but alas, I don’t think they remember quite how stunningly gorgeous she is:

Ha. Not even close. But I wish.

2. The one old enough to be my Grandmother:

Ali MacGraw (Love Story). A lot of people thought I looked like her when I was a young teenager (probably before Mom taught me how to ~~mow~~ pluck my eyebrows), so Mom rented “Love Story” for me to see.

Unfortunately for her, she forgot how unbelievably foul-mouthed Ali MacGraw was in that movie, so I didn’t get to see the horribly sad ending. Darn.

3. The one that if you agree with, I will never speak to you again:

Gretchen Wilson (Country Singer). Seriously – I am not IN THE LEAST desirous of looking like the self-proclaimed epitome of the Redneck Woman. Please, PLEASE no.

4. The only one I ever agreed with “them” about:

Meg White from The White Stripes (Rock band). It’s not quite as obvious in these pictures, but when I saw their music video Seven Nation Army, I would have totally believed it was me if I knew how to play drums..

So…which one DO I look like, if any? Just don’t say Gretchen Wilson. Unless that you want me to tell you that YOU look JUST like Jocelyne Wildenstein:

I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to make you throw up your thanksgiving leftovers. I promise – you look NOTHING like Mrs. W. Just don’t have twenty-eleven plastic surgeries and I think you’ll be just fine.

But more importantly, who DO you get told that you look just like?

When a Two Year Old Cooks Thanksgiving Dinner…

November 27, 2009 Rachel Callahan A Day in the Life, The Blissfulness of Life

As we were hosting Thanksgiving dinner at our house, I put Ali to work using her new cooking skills.

Cooking with a toddler creates many opportunities for great conversations.

Ali: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Peeling the onion so I can chop it.”

Ali: “You’re peeling off the chocolate?!?!?!?”

(a minute later…)

Me: “Ohhh…the onions are making me cry!!”

Ali: “Don’t cry! There’s no need to be scared!!”

It didn’t take long for her new chef self to become a very opinionated chef self. For instance, she apparently thought that we needed to add more Ginger to our spice cake:She HAD been telling me she wanted to make Gingerbread cookies…I guess I should have listened.

After we finished our first round of cooking, we went outside to check on Chris’ progress with the Christmas lights.

I’m pretty sure that this is the longest that he’s ever held off on decorating the house for Christmas, and it’s all Alabama Football’s fault.

He loves Christmas. It cheers him up tremendously. And so, he uses decorating the house as therapy after a really bad football game.

In years past, Alabama would lose a game sometime in early November, dashing all of Chris’ hopes and dreams for a championship season. So he would drive straight home from the game, barely speaking a word, then walk outside and feverishly festivate our house.

And then he’d come in, a happy husband once again.

But since Alabama is having a good season (until right this second while I’m writing this blog and they’re losing to Auburn and he’s feverishly decorating the INSIDE of the house while pacing and sighing), he actually waited until almost an appropriate time to decorate.

Anyway, back to the story. We went out to check on Daddy’s progress, and Ali was thrilled.

So as he strung lights,

We swung and watched:

And gave supervisory opinions on where the lights should go.

With all of that inactivity, we got cold.

(Now you can’t ever say I didn’t post a picture of myself without makeup.)

Chris told me that he was planning a National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation-esque house-lighting, where he would wait until after Thanksgiving dinner, and then make the whole family go out on the lawn, freezing to death, while he dramatically plugged the lights in and the Angels On High sang “AAAAAAAHHHH”

I told him reenacting that scene would just be BEGGING for our neighbor’s septic tank to start leaking and running down the road à la Cousin Eddie’s RV, but he didn’t care.. .

But when it came down to it, he couldn’t wait that long. Luckily for the family, the house was pre-lit upon their arrival:

Finally, we served dinner:

And then it was Tessa’s turn to watch and supervise:
When dessert came out, everyone kept commenting on how gingery the cake tasted…and how much they liked it. I guess Ali is trading in her Project Runway career aspirations to be on Top Chef instead.