Rachel Callahan

Random Factual Roundup

January 1, 2010 Rachel Callahan A Day in the Life, The Bliss-fulness of Life, Toddlers: The Experience

Fact One: If a two-year-old and a thirty-three year old both receive Legos for Christmas, the thirty-three year old is likely to be the most excited.

…especially if they are his childhood legos, filled with other childhood mementos like Diamond Jim Arcade Tokens.

(Somehow I don’t think that those rusty, archaic tokens have any redeeming value at this point.)

Fact Two: Said two-year-old will be much more excited about her first pair of heels.

And wand. And wings.

Fact Three: Her cat might also be excited about the new wand.

Fact Four:Your two-year-old might surprise you and not mind sharing her wand with said cat.

Fact Five: Nothing completes a pair of PJ’s like a tu-tu.

Fact Six: A Real Christmas tree will not be happy when you remove it’s ornaments.

…and will be even less happy when you bag it, suffocate it, and tell it to not let the front door hit it on the way out.

Fact Seven: The population of trendy mall-strolling girlfriends discussing life, love, and fashion gets younger every day:

Luckily, however, the population of trendy, girl-watching guys is NOT getting younger.

Fact Eight: When having 14 adults and 16 children at your house for a New Year’s Eve party, there will be no doors that can stay closed and no corners in which you can hide your Christmas junk that your friends will not see. Because every square inch of available floor space WILL be filled with sleeping children:

..and they will be horrified at the state of your laundry closet.

First Annual Mommy Scouts Awards

December 31, 2009 Rachel Callahan Parent of the Year, Rachel's "Brilliant" Marketing Ideas, Utter Silliness

I wrote a post at the beginning of the year called Mommy Scouts. The concept has stuck with me throughout the year and has helped me laugh during moments I might not have normally been able to – reminding myself that it’s all worth it because I’m earning my merit badges.

For a refresher, here was my idea:

We get to earn Merit Badges as we experience facets or overcome obstacles of Mommyhood. Because admit it – we’re all proud of what we’ve overcome in this crazy job, and we like wearing them like honors on our sleeves anyway, so we might as well have the pretty stitched badges.

Maybe we could sew them on our diaper bags.

Or sew them over the baby puke spots on our shirts.

So, to celebrate a year well done, I am officially announcing the

First Annual Mommy Scouts Awards!!!

Let’s start with the childbearing awards.

Lydia and Amanda – I had my fourth child when my oldest was under six Merit Badge.

Julie – I had my FIFTH child when my oldest was under six Merit Badge.

Natalie – I’m pregnant with number six, all still under six Merit Badge.

Lindsay – I had my second child before my first was 15 months old Merit Badge.

I salute these women for earning badges that I will most likely never be brave enough to earn.

Here are the Health-Related Merit Badge Awards:

Shelly M – My kid broke their femur and I had to carry them around in a full leg cast for months and right after he healed, my husband broke his back Merit Badge.

…I seriously don’t know how she survived that.

Ashley – I survived my entire pregnancy with a horrible sinus infection that couldn’t be treated aggressively enough because I was pregnant Merit Badge.

…AND she sang several full length concerts with Red Mountain WHILE sick!

Amy Wade – I was a mother to my child AND my husband due to his extreme injury prone-ness Merit Badge.

I feel like I owe your husband an apology for all of the times I laughed at his hysterical injuries through the year.

Now for the travel Merit Badge Awards:

Christie and Hannah – I moved across the country with two children Merit Badge. I don’t ever want to move again AT ALL – let alone out of state. *shivers*

This is the Day – I took a multi-week road trip without my husband, while still-in-the-nauseous-stage-of-pregnant, AND with a toddler in tow Merit Badge.

Barkley – I flew 12 hours with my one year old and survived the resulting toddler jet lag Merit Badge.

And finally, the ultimate travel merit badge goes to:

Christen – I traveled to see my in-laws three states away for 10 days with a toddler and newborn in tow, WHILE my husband was gone on a fishing trip, AND while in the middle of moving Merit Badge.Seriously, I would have just died at the “my husband is gone 10 days” part – let alone the rest.

Next Category: There’s Alternatives to Violence Merit Badges:

Marie – I witnessed other children being very mean to my child and managed to NOT strangle other said children Merit Badge.

If you ever find yourself in this situation again, just call me – I’ll take care of them so you don’t have to lose your merit badge.

Blue Violet – I didn’t torture and then slowly kill my daughter’s boyfriend when he broke her heart Merit Badge.

Nikki – I discovered a strategy – Mommy Money – to make it through the get-to-school-in-a-hurry mornings without ANY whining Merit Badge.

And now for the just-plain-uncategorizable Merit Badges:

Lianne – I ripped my pants on my own birthday and went around all day celebrating said birthday with said ripped pants and my kids never told me – but I still love them anyway Merit Badge.

My favorite part of this story was that you didn’t even realize they were ripped … until you looked at the pictures. That is just awesome.

Mama Hen – I’m such a cool Mom that I let all four of my children help me make homemade jelly Merit Badge.

Rachel K – I faithfully supported my son through his whole football season – of continually losing. Merit Badge.

Jennifer – I starred in the Church Christmas play while all of my kids were sick Merit Badge.

Trina – I survived my child’s fear-of-her-room-and-insisting-on-sleeping-with-me Phase Merit Badge

Rachel Robinson – I went to college while being a Mommy AND made the President’s List Merit Badge.

Carol – I survived all year using Europeanly small laundry appliances with FIVE KIDS Merit Badge

My Mom – I willingly kept all of my Grandchildren repeatedly, as well as up to seven other children ALL AT ONCE Merit Badge.

Greta – I’ve been stalked by that freaky kid at the pool because I was pregnant. Again and Again. Merit Badge.

And, because I’m writing the rules, I have to give one to myself – I earned it fair and square: I survived a poo + public restroom + no wet wipes or diapers incident Merit Badge.

And that concludes the 2009 First Annual Mommy Scouts Merit Badges Awards!!

To the Awardees: Feel free to copy the top badge and/or your Award badge and use it as you please (although all badges are really from Boy Scouts of America or Girl Scouts of America, so I probably don’t have the right to tell you that – oops!).

To those I didn’t award – please understand – If I’ve left you out, don’t feel bad – I’m throwing this post together as fast as I can between holiday events. However, I officially award each one of the rest of you Mommies one Mommy Scout Merit Badge of any kind. What did you earn yours for this year?

Just A Litter Fun…

December 30, 2009 Rachel Callahan Can I get a copy of that recipe?, The Blissfulness of Life, Utter Silliness, Weird Strange and True

A few weeks ago, I purchased our long-anticipated Church Cookbook:

On the way home from church, I thumbed through, looking at various recipes.

And then I arrived at a recipe so unique that it was powerful enough to change my life.

KITTY LITTER CAKE.

(Okay, maybe not change my life, but certainly add a good measure of joy to it.)

Not only was it an awesomely funny idea, but the instructions were you’re-going-to-need-a-litter-box hilariously-specific. It had such jewels as…

Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points.

Bury the rolls “decoratively” in the cake mixture.

Chris and I immediately knew that it was in our destiny to make this creation, especially with our affinity for making “unique” food creations.

We also knew the perfect opportunity to try out this delectable recipe: We had our second Christmas with Chris’ Family last night because his Aunt Kitty and Uncle Leo were coming in town, at which we were also celebrating Kitty’s birthday.

Besides the name resemblance, Kitty is quite a cat lover, and currently has three. Our other dinner guests, Chris’ parents, are also quite familiar with the litter box.

Plus, you have to get creative when giving a gift to someone who appreciates the art of toenail clippings, ya know?

And so it began.

We washed Oreo’s litter box…

Okay. I promise it was new.

I made a Spice Cake:

and a White Cake.

Pudding…

White Oreos…

Crushed with my Ninja.

And Tootsie Rolls, of course.

The cakes got crumbled and mixed with some of the cookies…

And then placed in the serving platter.

I then enlisted my resident poo expert, Chris, to shape the …Tootsie Turds.

He made them all different (they’re like snowflakes, you know),
and carefully coated them and buried them…

And then we sprinkled the now-food colored reserve of Oreos over the top for deodorizing crystals.

Chris made the remaining Tootsie Turds, including the characteristic hanger-on that finally comes off as the cat jumps out of the litter box…

We added the scoop, and it was ready for it’s debut.

We told no one of our invention beforehand, so when Chris came and laid out the newspaper and sprinkled the escaped litter pieces, everyone was a bit confused.

And then, our masterpiece was served.

Kitty went through the 5 Stages of Being Served a Kitty Litter Cake:

1. Disbelief.

2. Hysteria.

3. Photography.
4. Disgust at the thought of actually ingesting said product.
5. Bravery to eat the first Birthday Turd (now well coated with clumping litter).

We tried to get Ali to eat one…
But she quickly pulled back, brushed off her hands, and announced “I don’t want one.”

I wasn’t sure how the actual eating of this dessert would go, but surprisingly, it wasn’t horrible.

But of course, we saved the leftovers, side-turd still in tact and peeking out, just in case any of you want to come over and try some littery goodness.

How You Spell “Happy Holidays” In The South.

December 30, 2009 Rachel Callahan Football and I have a Complicated Relationship, Giveaways and Contests, Wordless Wednesday - as IF I could be wordless.

First of all – it’s time to announce the winner of the Shark Portable Steamer!!

Since it was such a big giveaway and there were so many entries, I fired my usual random number generator (Excel) and used the “official” one – random.org. And, it told me:

I’m sure you’re wondering who entry #101 was….. This is the Day !!!

I’m excited that the Portable Steamer is going to someone who’s about to have a new baby – yay for easy sanitization!

Congrats!

Now… for a not-quite-but-almost-nearly Wordless Wednesday Post…

Mixing football and holiday decor has been a long held Southern tradition.

But this year, the looming National Championship really steroidified that custom. There are many houses that have their football pride much more prominently displayed than their Christmas decor.

I present to you exhibit A:
No, this isn’t my house, thank goodness – just a neighbor.

But yes, my husband is most definitely jealous (and maybe scheming as to how HE can hire the football field painter to paint HIS yard) every time we pass by.

Check out everyone else’s Wordless Wednesdays at 5 Minutes for Mom!

Riddles, Romance, and Christmas

December 29, 2009 Rachel Callahan Mystery Solved, The Blissfulness of Life

Chris and I are all about a good game or puzzle. We especially like scavenger hunts.

The year we got married, we didn’t have much money (if anyone DID have much money the year they got married, the rest of us think you’re lying). Anyway, there was an Eddie Bauer grey wool coat that Chris really wanted. I saved up my spending money and bought it for him, but wanted to make it REALLY special. So I made up clues that led him all the way through our house until he found it.

This year, he returned the favor.

He gave me a Christmas card that had a tiny slip of paper in it.

It said, “The Secret Lies with Ali.”

I knew immediately that I was being led on a scavenger hunt.

I knew that the next clue couldn’t ACTUALLY be with Ali, because she wasn’t awake yet (she slept until 9:30 on Christmas morning, at which point we got tired of waiting for her and woke her up), so I had to think deeper.

Plus, Chris is all about word play.

“LIES.”

What does Ali lie about?

Well, her favorite lie is that she needs to tee-tee at night RIGHT before it’s time for bed (classic United Toddler Union stalling techniques).

So I head to her bathroom. Sure enough, I find this clue:

I before E…except after C.

This one took a while, but I finally stumbled on it…a slip of paper was stuffed in between middle C and D on the piano.

This was the hardest clue of all of them, in my opinion.

After QUITE a bit of hintage and one false alarm where I found this folded up piece of oh-so-helpful paper…
I found the next clue, hidden in the Trivial Pursuit box.

Do you speak French?

Not really, but I took it for a few years. But I think the answer you’re looking for is “Oui.”

This one took me WAY TOO LONG to put together (I was starting to feel the pressure of getting Ali up and opening her presents so I could cook Christmas lunch for Chris’ family, so I WAS a bit distracted, in my defense…)

Oui = Wii.

The next clue was under the Wii.

The Truth. The Bible.

Where does Chris keep his bibles?

In his basement office… Notice the hinges on that bookshelf?

Yes, it’s a straight-out-of-British-Literature opening bookshelf – I guess the original builders had a lot more to hide than we do.

I had to get him to open it for me (it’s quite heavy), and I discovered my present:
A full-length mirror!! Something I’ve always wanted.

And, apparently, so had Ali:

I want a scavenger hunt EVERY day!

Among other romantic gifts from my husband was this:

“You got me a DOORKNOB for Christmas?!”

“Yep. It’s for our room. It goes with Ali’s big girl bed.”

“Huh?”

“It locks…”

*Jeopardy Theme Song*

“OOOOH…”

Romance. It’s not dead around here.

Every Time a Bell Rings, a Princess Gets her Accessories.

December 27, 2009 Rachel Callahan The Blissfulness of Life, Toddlers: The Experience

Besides the whole smashing her nose on her brand new big girl bed event, Ali most certainly has had a Princesses’ Dream of Christmas.

In fact, I believe that at least 90% of the gifts she received were items for a Princess, which thrilled her little royal heart like nothing else..

AJ gave her a crown-making kit..

Pop made her a Princess house (which looked spectacularly like our house):

(She had to study quite a bit to decide which room Princess Ali should live in)

Her Princess House came with a Cinderella and Prince Charming to take residence, of course.

Santa Claus delivered her presents wrapped for a Princess,
Which included another set of Princesses…

With the world’s tiniest shoe collection:
(Doesn’t Santa know that things that small are bound to get lost, eaten by the cat, or end up in the toilet?)

She was careful to keep all of her Princesses in line…

Although original Cinderella was apparently pretty upset that New Cinderella showed up wearing the same dress.

But the Princess item she got most excited about was most definitely her Ariel PEZ dispenser from her Aunt Lindsay.

When she opened it, she told me she got more PEZ (her new favorite candy which she had already eaten SIX packs of earlier in the day), and then, upon closer examination, she screamed louder than any proper princess should, “IT’S ARIEL!!!!!!!!”

Ariel and Ali stayed tight for the rest of the present opening:

Who knew that all she really needed was a $2 Princess PEZ dispenser?

She wasn’t the only one easy to please, though. Her cousin Eli’s favorite find was Gramamma’s shoes:

We DID have a few non-Princess Christmas highlights…

Ali was quite excited that she was old enough to have her OWN candle (with a little help) at the Christmas Eve service:

And she also did an excellent job making a Christmas label for Daddy (albeit still upside-down):

I was able to catch her running-into-the-room Christmas morning expression – pure delight:
She gazed wondrously at her presents…

Then the magic abruptly ended.

…or maybe that’s just the face she gives me when I ask her to smile for a picture.

She opened her first present in a blinding flash..

Which included four books…

Of which she had to read all of before we could move on, and anytime we suggested opening another present, we got this look:

Much to her Daddy’s delight, she adored the Teddy Bear that (ahem) MISTER Santa got her from LOVE’S TRUCK STOP.(Hence why Mrs. Santa did the rest of the shopping.)

She finally opened all of her presents from Santa, and seemed to approve of him coming to her house a bit more…

but when Gramamma asked her if Santa came to her house, she said thoughtfully,

“No. He tried to come to my house, but he couldn’t. So he gave my presents to the Gingerbread man, and he brought them down the chimney to me.”

Apparently, she holds to the philosophy of Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Santa Beliefs.

I’m Glad She Wants to be Like Me, But…

December 26, 2009 Rachel Callahan Just My Luck, Parent of the Year, Toddlers: The Experience

I’ll get to the rest of our Christmas stories later, but I must ~~relieve my conscience and confess~~ start with this one.

So, as I mentioned before, the plan was for Ali to get a Big Girl Bed for Christmas.

So, when Ali woke up on Christmas morning (or, rather, when we got tired of waiting for her to wake up and we woke her up at 9:30 am), she was sleeping in this:

And then, while I was fixing lunch for Chris’ family and Ali was playing with all of her Santa loot, Chris went upstairs and assembled this:

(because we’re not as talented as my Dad – we couldn’t replace her crib with a BGB during the night without ever waking her up. We’re still pretty novice parents.)

(Oh – and don’t worry – we installed the bed rail before naptime. No need for THAT much of a change.)

We excitedly led Ali upstairs to see her “BIG HUGE SURPRISE!!!!”, and she, as we expected, was completely thrilled.

Her exuberance and excitement led to much celebration to get acquainted with her new big girl bed:
There was frolicking,

Standing,

And falling on one’s knees.

….except, in that last shot, she decided to go ahead and finish the fall (rather thoroughly) and faceplant on the bed.

….except, her trajectory was slightly off.

….and her nose landed squarely on the corner of the footboard.

….in a very concrete manner.

There was much screaming.

MUCH screaming.

Much inconsolable crying.

(And that was all just her Daddy.)

I sat there and rocked her while she screamed her steadily-swelling-nose off, my mind was circularly saying…

”we are going to have matching broken noses. Except hers is going to be worse. She’s going to have a black and blue nose with a nose cast. And it’s all my fault.”

Of COURSE, all of our lunch guests arrived during this screamingly euphorious period of time.

We finally had to pull out all the stops and offer her only-halfway-through-naptime-crying-friend to comfort her hopefully-still-in-one-piece nose:
The up side was, we got to try out the new snuggling option of a big girl bed. …and, we now have a “no jumping or frolicking or falling onto one’s knees or really anything but laying and sleeping on the bed” rule.

And as paranoid as she is, I promise you she will forever follow that rule.

She did say after a little while that it didn’t hurt anymore, but we will probably get an x-ray if she complains anymore or if it looks bad (unless someone can confirm that almost-three-year-olds still just have cartilage in their noses and therefore cannot break them – one of my friends thought that was the case and I am certainly hoping she is right).

Surprisingly though, as much as she holds grudges against all things that hurt her, when it was time for naptime, she couldn’t have been more thrilled to return to the scene of the crime and set off on her Maiden Dream Voyage in BGB:

But she was quite careful as to the trajectory of her head when lying it on the pillow.

It’s not a Merry Christmas till you break your nose on your “best” Christmas present.

My Neurotic Christmas Baking, Recipes Included.

December 24, 2009 Rachel Callahan Anal Retentivity to a Fault, Can I get a copy of that recipe?

I have a love/hate relationship with my Holiday Baking traditions. I have done it all my life in one way or another…

~ When I was really little, I did it with my mom.

~ When I was a kid, I’d do it myself and sell it to the adults at my church to give away for the holidays.

(Of course, I had a very organized price list and order form.)

~ When I was married without a kid and working as an Accounting Manager, I’d take a day off of work to do all of my baking, and give it to all of my employees and bosses, our neighbors, AND send a huge tray to Chris’ office.

(Since you already know my borderline-neurotic recordkeeping tendencies, it probably won’t surprise you at all that I have all of my worksheets back to 2003 in the back of my cookbook – what I made, how many I got out of each batch, how many baggies I needed, who all I gave them to…)

At the height of my Holiday baking, I was making over 500 pieces of 6 different kinds of treats.

Now that I’m a Mom, I find it much harder to devote a whole day to baking.

Plus, it really hurts my back.

And feet.

Because I’m a geezer like that.

So, because I’m an all or nothing kind of girl, last year I didn’t do ANY baking, because I knew that I couldn’t just do a LITTLE.

I wasn’t planning on doing it this year either, until I talked to my friend Barkley last week, and she asked if I was doing it. THEN she had to go on reminiscing about one year when she helped me. And how it was one of her FAVORITE memories with me.

(Obviously, I’m not that exciting of a person.)

So, after I got off the phone with her, I felt all bakey, even though the instigator of my sudden need for bakeryness was going to be in HAWAII and would not be available to make more favorite memories with me.

(I’m thinking my back and feet would have hurt less if I had been in Hawaii rather than the kitchen.)

I knew I had too much to do in the next week already, but I also knew this was a tradition that I couldn’t just leave by the curb.

My goal was to cut back and not make as much so that it wasn’t overwhelming, and include Ali in the tradition.

I DID cut back somewhat, but also ended up making two more batches of treats than I planned on. But progress was made – the total treat count was only 219!

But no Ali memories – she was still at my Mom’s from us going to the Red Mountain concert the night before (and she had a whole agenda of stuff she wanted to do before she came home), so she missed almost all of the baking.

(That was probably better for my sanity. It was a LOT of baking for a two year old.)

So, after all that lengthy Modern History of Rachel’s Baking, here are the recipes that I made this year:

Cheesecake Squares with White Chocolate

* This recipe is an extreme modification on one that I got from a website years ago, but since I’ve modified it so much, I’d like to consider it original…ish.

Crust:

1/4 c. Butter (softened)
1/3 c. packed Brown Sugar
1 c. plain flour
1/4 c. finely chopped pecans

Preheat the oven to 350°.

Cream together the butter and brown sugar. Add flour and pecans, mixing well. Mixture should resemble coarse crumbs.

Press crumb mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 x 9 pan. Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until lightly browned.

Cheesecake:

2 8 oz. packages of cream cheese, softened
1/2 c. sugar
2 tsp. Vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 c. White Chocolate Chips
1 c. regular or swirled semi-sweet chips
1/2 c. finely chopped pecans

Combine cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla, beating at medium speed until well blended. Add eggs, mixing well.

Sprinkle half of the white chocolate chips, chocolate chips, and pecans on the bottom of the now-baked crust.

Put the cheesecake mixture on top of the crust.

Sprinkle the rest of the white chocolate chips, chocolate chips, and pecans on top of the cheesecake mixture.

Bake for 20-30 minutes. Keep refrigerated.

Ribbon Fantasy Fudge

* This is a fail-proof (if you can follow directions) fudge recipe that we’ve used in our family for years.

If you want to put it in mini cupcake holders (great for gifts or making you feel like you’ve eaten less fudge than you actually have) set them out before you begin:

Chocolate half:

1 1/2 c. sugar
6 tbsp. butter or margarine
1/3 c. milk
6 oz. semisweet chocolate chips
1 c. marshmallow cream or 2 c. of loosely backed miniature marshmallows
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Put sugar, butter, and milk in saucepan. Bring to a full rolling boil, stirring constantly. When you get to a rolling boil, set your timer for four minutes, and continue boiling for THE FULL four minutes over medium heat, still stirring constantly (you will get blisters on your fingers from all the stirring – it’s worth it).

Remove from heat, stir in chocolate chips until melted. Add marshmallow cream and vanilla until well blended. Quickly fill mini cupcake holders about 1/3 full (or pour into a 13 x 9 pan).

Peanut Butter half:

1 1/2 c. sugar
6 tbsp. butter or margarine
1/3 c. milk
1/2 c. peanut butter
1 c. marshmallow cream or 2 c. of loosely backed miniature marshmallows
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Repeat instructions with sugar, butter, and milk from above.

Mix in peanut butter until melted. Add marshmallow cream and vanilla.

Spoon/pour quickly over Chocolate mixture (the peanut butter mixture pours nicer than the chocolate mixture, hence it’s placement on top).

This recipe is also nice just using one or the other of the types of fudge, if you prefer.

Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

* often called “No bake oatmeal cookies”, it seems like everyone has a version of this recipe. But just in case, here’s mine:

2 c. sugar
3 tbsp. cocoa
1 stick butter or margarine
1/2 c. evaporated milk
1/2 c. peanut butter
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 2/3 c. quick style oats

Mix sugar and cocoa together in a saucepan. Add butter and evaporated milk and cook slow on medium heat, stirring constantly, just until the sugar is dissolved (I test this by dripping a drop on something, then tasting it once it cools. If it’s gritty, it isn’t ready yet). Remove from heat immediately after sugar is dissolved.

Stir peanut butter and vanilla in.

Stir quick oats in well. Drop quickly by the spoonful onto wax paper and let cool.

A lot of people have trouble getting these cookies to harden appropriately. My Grandmother’s tip was to be sure and use the same type of measuring cups for all ingredients.

My tip is to measure dry ingredients liberally and wet ingredients conservatively. It always works for me, even if I can’t find a matching set of measuring cups.

All I wanted to eat after being immersed in a bazillion chocolate calories all day:

Alison’s Salad

* I just had this salad a couple of weeks ago for the first time, and immediately fell in love. I’ve eaten it continuously ever since.

Spinach
Sliced almonds
Craisins
Mandarin Oranges
Ken’s Raspberry Vinaigrette Dressing

the key: mix the mandarin orange juice in with the dressing and toss. It is AMAZING.

I hope you all have a wonderfully Merry Christmas!

I leave you with my pitiful excuse for a Christmas Letter – emailed out, since I’ve never had it together enough to actually MAIL one:

The Ghost of Christmases Past.

December 23, 2009 Rachel Callahan I embarrass myself just for your amusement., Storytime

Most Humiliating Memory: Mom enjoyed cross-stitching seasonally appropriate bloomers.

(Who doesn’t, after all, need a good seasonal picture on their butt?!)

She also enjoyed other people getting to appreciate her handiwork.

I, however, was NOT a fan of showing off her stitches, but was obedient nonetheless.

The Christmas where I have no memories due to puzzle-induced Amnesia:

Top Five Christmas Fashion Disasters: We all wear our proudest, freshly-opened-from-underneath-the-tree outfits on Christmas day. Looking back, I might not should have been QUITE so proud…

5. 1987: I distinctly remember opening this outfit and being SO! EXCITED! because I finally had my first pair of suspenders!

Luckily, it was also my LAST pair of suspenders.

4. 1991: The poof-paint snowman sweatshirt:

I loved that sweatshirt well. Even after Frosty started ~~flaking~~ melting away.

3. 1991: I picked this outfit out myself at Christmas Village. I couldn’t wait until Christmas day arrived so that I could wear my neon pink and neon green tie-dye full outfit ensemble:

It included pants, shirt, headband, AND socks. It was awesome. And don’t miss the fact that I am wearing a fanny pack to really bring my haute look together.

2. Circa 1994: Wow. The heart-crocheted sweater, which when combined with my desperate need to be taught how to weed-wack my eyebrows, made for quite the glamorous look:

And finally, the NUMBER ONE Fashion Disaster: 1988. Oh yes – my Mom DID make us matching pleated plaid skirts to go with our matching Christmas sweaters.

Even my Grandmother was laughing on the inside at that one.

Favorite Christmas Eve Memory: Reading Christmas stories around the fireplace – especially “The Gift of the Magi” and “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.”

Most Delicious Tradition: Gingerbread Houses. Although it usually left me quite frustrated at my general incompetence in the field of construction.

It really irritated me when my three year old cousin was better than me:
And even Davy Crockett was a regular high-rise developer.
Santa Memories: Like Ali, I wasn’t a big fan of strangers. Unlike Ali, I felt that the importance of properly conveying my Christmas needs was more important for my dislike of sitting on a stranger’s lap.

And anyway, who doesn’t have a little extra confidence when wearing White Leather Fringed Cowboy boots?

The Christmas Tree:

Sometimes, we’d go to the Christmas tree farm to get our tree:

I don’t remember much about these trips except that I adored their apple cider and it took a LONG time for my Dad to saw down the tree when I had to pee from all of the apple cider that I downed.

My parents had this rule that the Christmas tree had to sit on the porch for 1-3 days before we could bring it in and decorate it.

They always explained that this was to help the branches lower.

No one else has ever heard of this sort of procedure. In fact, hanging ornaments does a great job of lowering branches.

I think that it reality, it was their method of torturing us to see if we would REALLY be good now that the Santa threat was imminent.

My Most Guilty Least Favorite Tradition: Our pajamas.

We had a wonderfully sweet lady in our Church that made us all pajamas for Christmas morning every year..

The only problem: I hated Nightgowns.
She always made JC and Nick pants pajamas, so I never understood why I couldn’t have pants pajamas.

(I also never understood why I wasn’t allowed to sleep in my underwear the rest of the year like JC. I was all about Women’s Equality, after all.)

Maybe she was trying to help counteract my tomboyish tendencies.

And finally…

Best Christmas Present: I had a four poster bed when I was a kid. I always wanted a canopy on top. One Christmas, my Dad actually constructed a pink canopy on the top of my bed while I was sleeping.

The plan was that I would wake up Christmas morning, look up, and see the wonders that Santa brought me.

However, I woke up and was so excited about Santa coming that I never looked up, ran into my parent’s room (as tradition stated), and had them march me back into my bedroom (after being thoroughly disappointed with my lack of fulfillment of their grand plans, I’m sure) and ask me “Don’t you see anything different??”

Do you have any favorite Christmas memories?

Christmas, Really.

December 22, 2009 Rachel Callahan On a more serious note. . ., Thoughts about Faith, Toddlers: The Experience

Ali wants nothing to do with Santa Claus this year. She doesn’t want him visiting her house (unless he promises to be gone by the time she wakes up), and she CERTAINLY has no interest in visiting HIM at the mall.

And, up until she actually opened one, she wasn’t a bit interested in presents. Every time someone asked her what she is getting for Christmas, she would say flippantly, “Nothing.”

Although we are still trying to do the whole Santa Claus thing, I’m actually pretty thrilled with her lack of interest and obsession with Santa Claus this year.

I love it because I know that there will be many Christmases ahead of us where she IS all about some Santa and presents and toys and stuff.

This Christmas is…special.

Every time she hears a Christmas song come on the radio, she starts excitedly asking, “Are they singing about Baby Jesus? And Mary? And Joseph? And the Shepherds? And the Wise Men??!!”

Every time we pass a nativity scene, she does inventory of all of the characters, and if any are missing, she demands repetitively, “Where ARE the wise men?!?”

(The first time they were absent, we tried to explain that they came much later in the story. But as we were explaining, we passed another nativity that DID have a set of Wise Men, so we gave up with historical accuracy and said, “There they are – they were just visiting THAT nativity first.”)

She loves her little play nativity (or “entivity”, as she calls it).

She loves talking about each character in the story.

She won’t talk about frankincense, but she adores gold and myrrh.

She’s singing Christmas carols and excited about singing about Baby Jesus.

And Mary.

And Joseph.

And the Shepherds.

And the Wise Men.

It’s precious. And it’s everything that I want to be focused on at Christmas but struggle to, due to the shopping.

And the baking.

And the wrapping.

And my million to-do lists.

And the activities and parties and events.

Dear Ali,

Thank you for your two-year-old innocence, passion, focus, and unabashed love for Baby Jesus. I strive to be more like you.

Merry Christmas, and thank you for sharing your faith with me as I share my faith with you.

Love, Mommy.