Hate-Fueled, Lovingly Crafted Christmas Cards.

A couple of weeks ago I got served some sponsored posts that made me very angry. It was an illogical anger – holiday-induced-insanity even – but it happened. The first one occurred on Instagram. First let me say that I do not follow Melissa Joan Hart. I do not follow any celebrities (with the exception […]

7 Things Better Than a Debate.

Tonight is the first presidential debate. I know, right. Approximately 55% of the country moans in desperation, crying out to God, asking “Is this the judgment we’ve read about in Revelation??” Apocalyptic or not, a debate between Trump and Clinton is perhaps the last thing I want to watch, especially since they’re not even letting […]

Breaking: Age Guessing Website a Conspiracy

It has been discovered today that how-old.net, the currently viral website that allows you to upload a photo and then tells you how old you look, is actually a conspiracy by multi-level-marketing behemoth Radon + Folds. Redarn + Flan is a direct sales skincare corporation that relies primarily on women who don’t mind utilizing Facebook […]

One Oil to Rule Them All.

At Young Living Essential Oils, we pride ourselves in being on the cusp of technology, purity, and usefulness with our oils and oil blends. My Step-By-Step Guide can help you find all answers to life’s questions of health, well-being, prosperity, and immortality. But now, your life will be reinvented with our new line of oils, […]

Babysitters are Bad Salesmen.

Marketing is supposedly essential for almost any business. Good marketing doesn’t just inform people about your stuff, or invite people to use your stuff, but it awakens the desires inside people for your stuff. M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hands. Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. You’re not yourself when you’re […]

The Urgent Reorganization of Christmas.

I began noticing the rampant nature of it last week. Everyone I talked to told me of their illness woes, of their family’s, or of their school’s. “My kids have been throwing up since last Wednesday.” “Just so you know, two people who were here yesterday have been confirmed to have the flu, and I’m […]

Isn’t it Time to Talk to Your Doctor?

Have you found yourself weepy during this deplorable deletion of Daylight Savings Time and simultaneous bout of horrific weather? Have you looked out the window to the darkness, cursing its existence? Do you feel hopeless, as if warmth will never return to your life? Then you may be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, […]

Sunsets By the Package.

In two days, I got two emails from different guys that I have zero connections with. (They were real emails from real people, guys!) One wanted advice as to where to take his girlfriend for a special date, and the other wanted advice as to where to propose to his girlfriend. This might sound extraordinarily […]

The Lullabies of Our Life.

So I’ve mentioned once or twice that we prefer a more eclectic selection of pre-bed singing to Noah. (And formerly to Ali, but she’s way too mature for such a thing now.) Because you can only sing their requests of “Dora Dora Dora the Explorer” so many days in a row before you start to […]

Ironic, With Children.

So Alanis Morissette and I are basically best friends. Photo Credit – Alanis: AKM-GSI; Me: my iPhone; both used with permission. …Or at least we had sons six days apart, both have long dark hair, and sometimes wear stripes. (Same difference.) Because of our deep relationship, I took the liberty of rewriting my favorite Alanis […]