Rachel Callahan

Amazingly Racing Into Trouble.

February 15, 2010November 12, 2013 Rachel Callahan I Love Birmingham, I'm a Glutton for Adventure, Just My Luck

Our Church Youth Group had a Retreat this past weekend, and somehow I got dubbed as responsible enough to be a driver for the Senior Girl’s team of The Amazing Race, which included clues, riddles, assignments, and adventure.

Our clues led us all over town, including Vulcan, our city’s pants-less statue, famous for mooning the whole metro area continuously:

(I’ve never understood why he has a skirt on the front but nothing on the backside…but hey – at least he gives all of us something to laugh at.)

We also went to Serra Honda, whose fault it is that I can’t get the Serra Honda-Man theme song out of my head,

We had to crawl through the fence at Sloss Furnaces and go on a search for hidden Travelocity-esque gnomes,

And finally to the highest point in the State of Alabama, which I previously did not know was the cell phone tower in our very own Church Parking Lot:

But the most adventurous clue was the very first one.

Our first clue led us to The Riverchase Galleria, Birmingham’s mega-mall, to look for someone dressed up as Waldo.

We got stuck in traffic and I chose NOT to take the dangerous U-Turn that SOME OTHER DRIVERS opted for, so by the time we got there, we were nearly last.

When we got inside, we spotted a team running upstairs, and they yelled out to us that we needed to go to Ruby Tuesday.

We thought it odd that they were helping us, but we trusted them and headed up.

When we arrived, there were a whole bunch of teams, all standing OUTSIDE the mall with a very confused looking Waldo and a VERY angry looking Female(ish) Mall Cop.

We arrived outside, and Pauline Blart Mall Cop started yelling.

“Who are the adults in this group??”

I timidly raised my hand.

“OKAY – I want all the CHILDREN over here and the adults over there, NOW!!!”

(Keep in mind that these “children” were Junior High and High School kids – mostly High School.)

(And the adult-to-kid ratio was like 1 to 4 – we were being safe.)

She then let loose all of her Pent-Up-Mall-Cop-And-Can’t-Carry-A-Gun frustration in a eardrum-bursting tirade.

“This is NOT ALLOWED!!! There are a hundred kids running all over this mall, pushing patrons and upsetting people – THIS IS NOT ALLOWED! If you EVER want to have an organized event at OUR MALL, you MUST obtain permission first!!!! We saw the first group running through the parking lot – some INNOCENT person could have HIT those kids with their car and HURT, KILLED, or MAIMED them, and then they would have had to live with that guilt for the REST OF THEIR LIVES. How would you like that??!! We are getting numerous complaints and this is NOT ALLOWED!!!”

She continues on…and on, telling us over and over how grievously we broke the rules of her mall.

Finally, there’s a break in the lecture, and one of the other adults quietly asks, “May we leave, then?”

“I don’t know. Where are you parked???”

Of course, since we’re in multiple groups, we all start pointing in different directions.

(Giant Heaving Annoyed Sigh) “You may leave if you leave IMMEDIATELY. BUT – all of the CHILDREN must hold the adult’s hands. And you MAY NOT RUN. OR TALK.”

I quietly get our next clue from Waldo before she notices and confiscates them, and we quickly, yet non-runningly but also not-hand-holdingly, make our way back to my car.

At first, my girls were struck silent by the grave danger that we had been in. Then one of them finally broke the silence to ask, “Don’t you think it was odd that the guy that turned us in looked like Waldo?”

“Um, that WAS Waldo. He was in trouble too.”

“OOOOOOH. That makes SO much more sense!!!”

We got back in the car, and they set off to figuring out their next clue.

We came in fourth (out of eight or nine teams), but we were happy with that victory, mainly because we were just relieved that Pauline Blart didn’t ban us from the mall FOREVER.

Because no amount of fun and competition is worth that punishment.

Random Snowiness and Uncle Joe’s Tot Locker

February 14, 2010April 15, 2011 Rachel Callahan Actually Possibly Informational, Can I get a copy of that recipe?, The Blissfulness of Life, Weird Strange and True

If you’re looking for the investigative report on Uncle Joe’s Tot Locker, you can find it by clicking here.

We had an awesome time in our snow, which has all escaped now except for the remains of dozens of snowmen making it look like The Great Snowy Massacre of 2010. But, in what will certainly be the first time in history, we are supposed to get TWO MORE INCHES OF SNOW TONIGHT.

Seriously bizarre.

So, the mass hysteria begins all over again….There will be NO bread and milk left anywhere in the state of Alabama after this weekend. And everyone will be watching the local news crawl again for their school and work closings.

Speaking of, Chris and I got to talking about the whole closings thing on Thursday..

What keeps someone from calling in and reporting that their business or school will be closed the next day? Surely the television stations don’t keep a list of authorized personnel that can call from each entity.

Then, the next day, when the boss calls and asks where you are, you just tell them, “Oh – I saw on NBC that our office was closed for today!!”

And also, what keeps people from calling in pranks?

And then, we saw it scroll by: “Uncle Joe’s Tot Locker will be closed on Friday.”

Seriously? UNCLE JOE’S TOT LOCKER??!!

Obviously, we’re not the first ones to think of the prank idea.

Out of incredulous curiosity, I tried finding Uncle Joe’s in the yellow pages, white pages, and online, but can find no trace that such a place exists.

But, just in case there really is an Uncle Joe’s Tot Locker and you send your kids to day care there, let me qualify my statements by saying….you’re crazy.

Editor’s note: I later did some investigative journalism and discovered the true origin of Uncle Joe’s Tot Locker. To find the answers to all of your questions, click here.

In other news, I am completely shocked by how many people asked me for the recipe for snow cream, or asked me what in the world snow cream was – especially of my northern friends!

Apparently, snow cream is just a southern thing (ironically enough), AND a rare one at that.

(I totally had this idealistic picture that every time it snowed up north, y’all immediately went outside, collected your snow, and made yourself up a batch of snowy goodness. My worldview is forever changed by the fact that you don’t eat snow cream for breakfast every day.)

So, for those of you who asked, here’s to ever complex recipe for snow cream:

If you’re a germophobe, leave a metal bowl outside to collect snow. Or, if you trust the cleanliness of the snow that God sent you, simply scrape the top layer of snow off of a flat object – a table, grill, car – whatever. Just make sure you get the top, clean, non-yellow part.
Add a lot of sugar and a lot of vanilla, and then add milk and stir until the consistency is still powdery but slushy.
Keep adding more sugar until you are positive that it will send you into a sugar coma.
Enjoy, and come to terms with the fact that you will become a snow cream junkie, and may in fact eat it for breakfast every morning henceforth.

Now I know that today is Valentine’s Day and I’m supposed to write an ooshy gooshy post, but since that’s not really my thing, I figured I’d just tell you about our family’s Valentine’s gifts.

It started out with me getting very aggravated with mine.

APPARENTLY, it seemed that Chris had waited until the last minute to order whatever he’d ordered me, so it was supposed to be delivered via FedEx on Friday – when he SHOULD have been coming home to escape The Frightening Blizzard.

And so, as the weather worsened and EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD was safe at home, he was still at the office, trying desperately to track down his FedEx guy.

I had told him multiple times that I would rather him be safely home than to have my Valentine’s gift on time, and might have even sent him a text telling him that my gift was losing brownie points by the second, but it was to no avail.

Finally, at 3pm, he texted me and told me that he gave up and was on his way home.

However. I knew that there was no way he’d given up – he would have sounded much angrier at himself (even in text), so I was confident that it was a fake-out.

Sure enough, that night, he “surprised” me and told me that he had, indeed, gotten my gift. I opened it, and all of a sudden everything became clearer:

He had ordered me a REAL King Cake. From New Orleans. Freshly baked the day before. From a King Cake Expert, located with the help of our Lousianian friend Nikki.

He’d put in his order weeks beforehand, apparently completely unaware that we would have a snowstorm of gigantic (2 inch) proportions, and so he HAD to wait on my freshly baked cake, or by Monday it would not have been, well, freshly baked.

I forgave him…kinda.

A lot of you also asked about what a King Cake was, so here was how another genuine Lousianian, Debra, explained it in the comments of my last post mentioning them:

The history of the King Cake began in 12th century France where the cake would be baked on the eve of January 6 (Epiphany) to celebrate the visit to the Christ Child by the three Kings.

It was later brought to South Louisiana by the French settlers and eventually developed into a Mardi Gras celebration. However, what would happen is if you found the baby in the cake, it would be your turn to supply the cake the next week at the next party. This would go on each week throughout the Mardi Gras season until Fat Tuesday (which precedes Ash Wednesday).

There is ton of information about the symbolism of the colors of the cake, the reason for the baby vs. the silver or gold bean, braided or unbraided, etc. As with any tradition, things evolve and change over time.

The first one I ever tried was “real” (from New Orleans), so ever since that day, as if under a Turkish Delight Curse of the White Witch from Narnia, I’ve been trying to replicate that amazing experience with locally baked ones, but to NO avail.

But this one – this one was real:
Ali helped me ice it and sprinkle it:
It was gorgeous.And amazingly delicious.

We ate it for dinner, after-dinner dessert, breakfast, mid-morning snack…you get the point.
And, fittingly so, I was the lucky baby finder!

Seriously the best cake ever. Even the baby was more real….

And, if you’re wondering, I got Chris some of the magic cups that we first learned about from Ryan and Christen: And yes, they are definitely magic.

And Ali. We just got her Valentine’s PEZ. Because we learned at Christmas that PEZ trumps any other gift in the world…except maybe being spared from having to go to Uncle Joe’s Tot Locker.

Was Too Skeptical To Buy Milk and Bread. Going to Die.

February 12, 2010 Rachel Callahan A Day in the Life, The Blissfulness of Life

So remember a few weeks ago when it had been below freezing for decades and there was actually ICE where water usually was and I totally believed them when they said it was going to snow and it totally didn’t?

Well, the disappointment was just too great to risk again, so I convinced myself that it would be another snowless Alabama year and moved on to look forward to Spring.

And then, this week, they said it was going to snow.

No WAY was I going to fall for it this time – it had been sunny and almost warm all week, all of the water was finally back to rightfully being water, and they were predicting mid-30’s all day.

But, because life is ironic, this is the view from my computer right now:

And no, I didn’t borrow that photo from one of my northern bloggy friends.

It has been snowing for five and a half hours STRAIGHT. I didn’t even know that was possible.

When it first started snowing this morning, I tried to convince Ali to go outside with me.

She was totally uninterested.

Finally, after several minutes of wickedly brutal negotiation, she agreed to go out with me on her terms: she got to keep on her current outfit:(She also tried to convince me that she needed to take the picture of her current love interest, Ethan, outside with her, but I told her that he would be completely ruined by the blizzardy snowstorm, so she conceded that point.)

And so, I took the Princess, complete with a tutu over her dress and open-toed heels, out in the “snow”:
Which lasted all of about a minute and a half, at which point she told me she was done with that and headed back inside.

Negotiations resumed. After all – she’s only three – she doesn’t realize how rare this snowy treat will be in her life.

Attempt #2: She got to keep the princess dress on, but I insisted on the concession of wrapping her in a blanket to improve the sustainability of snow trip B.

She was slightly more interested…

And even wanted to taste it…

But then called an all stop when she got some in her eye and just knew she’d die from the contamination.

So we took a break for a while to allow a bit of accumulation to occur (yes!!! It actually accumulated!! In Alabama!!!), and I worked on my negotiation tactics.

Take three: she actually allowed me to properly dress her for the occasion:
And, shocker of all shockers, when she listened to ME, she actually found the snow enjoyable:

I made her snowballs, and she threw them in the road:

I made her a tiny snowman friend, and she asked for a carrot nose and coal eyes.

I tried to give him bark eyes, but it wouldn’t stick. “I’m sorry, baby, he didn’t want to keep his eyes on.”

I turn around, then hear a plop.

Ali explains, “He didn’t want to keep his head on either, I guess.”

We finally found a suitable surface (the trampoline) to make a proper (albeit still miniature) snowman:

Ali was immediately in love. Sorry, Ethan.

We collected some specimen and came in and made my favorite treat in the whole world, snow cream.

Apparently, the adoration for it is genetic.

We took one last trip out before naptime, this time with enough snow on the ground for our feet to actually SINK INTO IT.

Obviously, we are having a blizzard of cataclysmic proportions.

Northeast, eat your heart out. We have, like, two INCHES!

We managed to pull ourselves out of snowdrift after snowdrift fight our way back inside to safety.

Alabama: The new Alaska.

Win Rainbow Brite and Relive Your Childhood!

February 12, 2010 Rachel Callahan Giveaways and Contests

I absolutely love the new wave of nostalgic toys that have been released. Getting to relive my childhood with Ali by playing with the same toys that I had when I was her age is SO MUCH FUN!

The latest re-release of my childhood toys is Rainbow Brite: I ADORED Rainbow Brite as a child! My brother always wanted to watch He-Man, and I always wanted to watch Rainbow Brite. If only the two of them had dated in cartoon land, we would have both been happy!

Hallmark has just released a new lineup of Rainbow Brite dolls available at Target and Toys R Us, still very much looking like the dolls we played with, but yet with a slight modernization.

So far, the collection includes Rainbow Brite, Moonglow, and Tickled:

I have two dolls to give away, as well as 9 Interactive CD-ROMs that include a Rainbow Brite Animated short, Games and Puzzles, and more! Ali and I have been exploring the CD ROM, and she loves it!

To be entered to win, leave a comment on this post!

You can earn up to three extra entries by:

Subscribe to OR Follow my blog
Follow me on Twitter OR my new fan page on Facebook
Tweet, blog, OR Facebook about the giveaway

(be sure to leave separate comments for your extra entries.)

Best of luck! This giveaway is open until Monday, February 22nd. The eleven winners will be selected randomly and announced on Tuesday, February 23rd.

Disclosure: I only received a CD ROM for review for this giveaway. I was not compensated to write this post and my opinions are mine, as always.

Placebocrud.

February 11, 2010 Rachel Callahan Rachel's "Brilliant" Marketing Ideas, Utter Silliness

I wrote this post on Saturday – at the time not at all sick myself, but just because I had the random idea for the post from my last several rounds of sickness and all of the complaining sick people on Twitter.

Then, before I published it, guess what I came down with? The very same crud that I talk about in this post. And, to make it even more enjoyable, Ali has it too.

See if I ever write about sickness again.

Anyway, Ali and I stayed home all day and watched Disney Playhouse – which kept cutting in with cartoonized public service announcements about what to do if you have the flu. Apparently only sick people watch Disney playhouse, which is, in fact, true in our case.

We did NOT go to the doctor yet because I know that they will probably tell me the same thing they always tell me – it’s viral and there’s nothing that they can do about it.

Which only further intensifies my below request to the FDA.

Dear Federal Drug Administration,

We, the world, have a complaint.

We’re all sick and tired of getting sick, getting more sick, getting paranoid that we caught Swine Flu or Strep Throat or Nose Cancer, going to the doctor, charged $35 or more, getting poked, pricked, swabbed, and otherwise invaded, only to be told, “Oh, it’s just the crud. It’s viral, so it’s just going to have to run it’s course. Try taking some Dimetapp.”

Then, we leave, steaming mad at ourselves for wasting $35, 2 hours, a few milliliters of blood and throat saliva, all to be told that there is NOTHING. ANYONE. Can do. For us.

Which has the effect of making us feel worse, despite downing the Dimetapp to try to make our Virus pack up and leave and to feel like we got SOME cost-effectiveness from the doctor trip.

And so, we have a request: please lie to us.

All you have to do is invent a sugar pill – or even better, a sugar shot (because shots always seem more serious) – that “treats’” viruses.

When we come in and they discover that we have the viral crud again, the doctor can say, “Well, it IS a virus, and normally I would say that it would just have to run it’s course, but I have great news!!! The FDA just approved a new shot that will cure your virus!! Now..viruses can be a little more tricky to treat than just the usual bacterial illness, so it may still take up to 7 days to fully take effect, but you WILL get better!”

Then, stick us in the butt with the super-duper-virus shot and send us on our merry way.

We will leave, relieved to have gotten treatment for our serious illness and feeling like our $35 + 2 Hours was well spent, and already feeling a bit better, just because we know that shot is now working it’s way from our butt to our nose and healing us with every step.

I’m telling you, Mister FDA, the power of suggestion has a LOT of healing power. It’s totally legitimate to treat us – successfully even – with lies.

Sincerely,

A Repeatedly Annoyed and Especially Prone to Viral Illnesses Citizen.

Country-Fried Birthday.

February 10, 2010 Rachel Callahan A Day in the Life, Weird Strange and True

Today is my Mom’s Birthday (Happy Birthday, Gramamma!). And something about gifts and the preferences of Birthday celebrations really reveals the stark difference in my city-girl self and my country-girl Mom.

When I called her yesterday to ask if I could take her to lunch today, she told me that she was on a romantic outing with my Dad to buy her Birthday present.

“Oh really? What is he getting you?”

“Cinder blocks!!!”

“That’s … great, Mom.”

“It’s just what I wanted! Your Dad says that I’m so easy to buy for.”

“So…what are you going to do with your new cinder blocks?”

“He’s going to make me a new tomato garden with them.”

Well, at least she had reason to get the overly romantic birthday gift of cinder blocks.

At lunch today, Mom and Dad told me of their great and romantic plans for the evening to celebrate her birthday even further…

A lecture on beekeeping.

Yes, they’re off to cuddle in the candlelight and whisper sweet nothings to each other…in a beekeeping class.

My parents have an amazing marriage – they know just what to get each other to bring a smile to their face. So, to sum things up, if you’d like to take lessons in romance from my parents…

Don’t know what to get her for that romantic holiday or birthday?

Get your wife the gift that will be sure to bring a spark to her eyes: Cinder Blocks!

Because nothing says “I Love You” quite like gray slabs of cement.

Don’t know how to celebrate your romantic holiday or birthday?

Get dressed up in some matching outfits and agitate thousands of stinging creatures together!

Your love will be renewed when you get a rip in your bee suit and your wife has to beat the living daylights out of you with a wooden bee drawer in an attempt to kill all of the bees that have crawled into your shorts before they sting you past the point of recognition.

And as an added bonus, she will be completely overwhelmed at the utter hotness of your bee hat.

…at least Mom and Dad will be thinking about the birds and the bees tonight.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Rachel, Topped With Drama and a Side of Angst.

February 8, 2010 Rachel Callahan I embarrass myself just for your amusement., Quirky quirky quirkiness

I have a tub labeled “Sentimental” that I have carried with me through three moves and almost nine years of marriage without ever opening it. Until now.

A mood struck me, probably when I was procrastinating from getting something else done, and I dug it out from it’s home amongst the boxes of stuff-we’ve-saved-that-we-will-probably-never-use-again in the basement.

And, since I’ve been showing a lot of Chris’ innermost secrets, I figured it was only fair to reveal things that I thought were worth saving in my tween and teen years.

Among the it’s-so-nasty-it-might-have-attracted-vermin-to-my-precious-sentimental-tub items, I found my cast from when I broke my arm in 7th grade:

I remember being so bummed that they had to saw it off – I had feared that saw for weeks. I had worked on it so much a couple of weeks before the removal date that I could slide it on and off with no problem. However, I don’t know if I started retaining water or it got THAT raunchy on the inside from the buildup of arm crustiness, but the day before it was time to get it removed, I couldn’t take it off anymore.

And so, they pulled out THE ARM SAW.

Okay, I promise – I will show no more gaggable items.

Moving on to much more sentimental items, I found a bag of rocks of unknown origin:

I’m assuming these MIGHT have been from my Missions trip to Cyprus when I was 16, but I really have no idea.

What? Did I throw them away since I had no idea where they are from? Of course not! Just because I don’t remember WHY they are sentimental doesn’t mean they AREN’T sentimental, right?!

My award winning Awana Grand Prix cars had their place in the tub:If memory serves me correctly, the red one won me second place in the race, and the American flag one won third place for design.

My Dad builds and analyzes race cars for a living, so I definitely had an advantage. He’d take me to the post office with my car and a handful of welding metal and we’d weigh the car plus the metal until we got it to the exact official weight limit. Then he’d bring it home, drill holes in the bottom, and fill it with metal.

Unfortunately, there was another family in Awanas that had apparently made a deal with God that allowed them to ALWAYS win, no matter what.

Not that I’m bitter…

I found my first friendship bracelets:

Yes, that nasty grungy hairball-looking mess was at one time a friendship bracelet. No, I don’t remember who gave me either of them. Yes, I still kept them.

Speaking of friends, I found my half of a Best Friend necklace and earring:

Nope, STILL don’t remember who has the other half. Anyone claiming them?

And I found what I just KNEW was going to make me rich one day:

I found this HUGE precious jewel in an empty lot near our house when I was around Ali’s age. I always thought that JUST MAYBE it was real, so I kept it until one day I would be old enough to drive and take it to an appraiser to tell me that I had found the Legendary Blue Ruby of the Queen of Atlantis or something.

By the time I was old enough to drive, I must have realized that there was probably no such thing as a Blue Ruby.

Also included in my tub was the original (and only) manuscript of my first (and last) attempt at writing a novel, Nancy-Drew-esque (circa age 10 or so???), The Mystery of the Abandoned Barn:

I tried to read it, but I only managed to make it through the first page – wow it was awful. There’s a reason I don’t write fiction.

Also in my tub o’ importance was my tween shrine to my one and only ever celebrity crush:

Page One: a magazine cover with the family I pretended he didn’t REALLY have – because he was going to marry me, of course.

(Never Minding the fact that he was like 58 years older than me and all.)

Page Two: My fan club acceptance. Obviously hand-written by Michael himself, right?

Page Three: any other mementos I had, including my beloved concert ticket:(dweeby sigh)

In the pre-teen/early-teen angst section of the tub, I found a pile of notes from friends…

My extraordinarily agony-filled emotionally-wishy-washy diaries..

Including sage advice from myself to myself…

(I love that I pointed out my own spelling errors to myself. Obviously, I’ve always been this anal.)

(For the record, I was wrong. I do NOT, in ANY way, want those emotionally crazed years back.)

Also included was the official copy, typed on notebook paper, of a Michael Jackson “You Are Not Alone” rewrite penned by a friend and I, bemoaning the fact that our parents wouldn’t EVER leave us alone:

Poor Ali. She’s going to have it just as “bad”. Except that when we won’t leave her alone, she’ll be re-writing Lady Gaga songs or something equally as freakish.

(shiver.)

And, if you thought that my bizarrely copious recordkeeping started when I had a baby, there was plenty of proof in my tub that it’s been around for a while.

For instance, it included every calendar from 1994 to 2000, written somewhat in journal form of each day (which I still do, sadly enough):
Of course, when I made said journal entries, I didn’t know their importance, such as February 10th, 1999, when Chris and I met:

In other recordkeeping items, I found my log of expenses from my 6 week missions trip to Cyprus. I was NOT going to be found negligent in tracking my money. No way – notice the £0.40 bread purchase:
Besides my trait of ~~OCD~~ thoroughness, my love-for-new-technologiness has also been around for a while. When they very first invented software that could (gasp) show what you would look like with a different hairdo, my junior high self couldn’t wait to try it out.

However, they didn’t tell me until I arrived for my appointment that the technology was SO NEW that you had to look at each hairdo in the hair color for which it was provided, and just sort of imagine what it would look like in your desired hair color.

Which…is sort of like just imagining yourself with different hair with NO software at all. Oh – did I mention that was during my awkward phase? Yeah – as if I needed a picture of myself with technicolor orange hair to make it even worse.

And finally, I found this caricature done when we were in California one summer:
Apparently, I had a really bad breakout of blackheads on my nose at the time.

Coloring Oneself: Perfect for Narcissistic Toddlers (And their Mommies).

February 6, 2010June 24, 2012 Rachel Callahan Actually Possibly Informational, I would NEVER take too many pictures. . .

I finally got around to a project I’ve been wanting to try for a while – making Ali coloring pages of some favorite photos. And actually, it was quite a bit easier than I had anticipated.

I have Photoshop (the cheap version), but I’m pretty sure a similar effect can be found in most photo editing software programs.

I learned through trial and error that the best types of photos for coloring pages are ones that:

Have uniform lighting throughout the photo .
Aren’t too busy, but have consistent geometric prints .
Have a clear contrast between the subjects in the photo and the background.
Minimal shadows, especially on faces.
All subjects in the foreground.
Subjects are wearing lighter-colored clothes.
Are fairly large photos, with regards to pixels.

With that in mind, in Photoshop, you just pull up a photo:

And click on the “Photocopy” effect (which can be found on the Edit –> Effects right-hand sidebar menu OR at the top by clicking Filter –> Sketch –> Photocopy).

After that, the photo will come up in an edit form, and you can play with the “darkness” and “detail” settings until you get the settings to the point where it has the most clear outline with the least amount of darkness within the outline (usually on the low end of both settings, but it varies by photo):

As I said, I know that not everyone has Photoshop, but I am confident that there is a setting in most photo editing software (free or purchased) that will have the same results.

To give a free option, I checked out Lunapic’s (www.lunapic.com) version. Lunapic is a completely online, no downloads required photo editing software. On their “Effects” menu, they have a “Coloring Book” option:
Granted, it didn’t come out nearly as clear as Photoshop AND there were no adjustable features, but it’s an option.

Here are a few of the others that I made using Photoshop:

And, as I usually do when I learn a new trick, I went completely overboard and spent the week making a coloring book for our small group:

I added names to the pictures so that the kids could color the letters, and possibly learn how to spell each other’s names.

Well, all but Julie’s long-winded kid’s names, anyway.

So – what did Ali think of these wonderfully self-centered coloring pages?

When Ali woke up from her nap after I finished phase one of my Grand Coloring Project, I couldn’t wait to show her my creations.

Me: “I have a very special surprise for you!!! Guess what it is!”

Ali: “Can I eat it??!!”

Me: “Good question! But no, it’s not to eat! Guess again!”

Ali: “It’s NERDS!!!!”

Me: “No, it’s not any kind of food surprise. Guess again!”

Ali, with growing excitement in her voice, “IT’S CINDERELLA CANDY!!!!”

(I have no idea what Cinderella Candy is, for the record.)

Me: “No – no eating involved in this surprise! Maybe try asking, ‘Can I color on it?’”

Ali: “Can I color on it?”

Me: “YES!! It’s special coloring pages!!!!”

Ali: “So can I EAT the special coloring pages??”

Obviously, I don’t feed my child enough.

The first one she colored was the one of her, Eli, and Tessa:

She thought it was quite excellent, edible or not.

The second one that I gave her was a remake of this photo from our Gymnastics trip:

But it came out a bit Medusa-esque:

She gasped and said “What is THAT?!!?!”

“That’s you, baby – with silly hair blowing in the wind!”

“That is NOT me!!!”

Poor thing – I know how she feels. That’s my reaction to at least 95% of photos I see of myself.

So she chose instead to color herself getting affirmation from Mommy and Daddy and felt MUCH better,

And let me color MedusAli.

…errr, not that I made these coloring pages as much for me as for her or anything.

But if I HAD made them for me, it’s a great way to see what my husband would look like in a hot pink suit, what I’d look like as a blonde, and what Ali would look like with what she’s always wanted: Pink Hair.

Yup. On our next trip to the salon, I’m going blonde and Ali’s going pink.

And the pink suit? Oh yeah – Chris definitely needs one.

The Soap Operas of Mommyhood.

February 4, 2010 Rachel Callahan Parent of the Year, Utter Silliness

I’ve felt a bit under the weather this week, so I’ve been very, very covetous of Ali’s naps. But alas, her naptime is my only opportunity to get two jobs and three blogs attended to, so me napping is not exactly an option.

HOWEVER, I have discovered a little power nap solution that has been quite blissful.

A half hour before Ali’s naptime, I’ll pull out my nice and generous Mommy Voice and say, “Hey baby, it’s naptime, but would you like a special treat of getting to watch Thomas, Veggie Tales, or Curious George first???”

Of course, she thinks I’m the most wonderful Mommy in the world.

So we cuddle up together on the couch, I turn on the show, and I go to sleep.

When the show is over, she starts poking at my eyes, and I know it’s time to wake up and put her to sleep.

By the way – that short-power-naps are better than long-naps theory? Totally true. I just hope Ali doesn’t discover that fact.

At any rate, my new napping discovery is totally awesome.

Except that I’ve been having some very strange nap-dreams, that have just added to my unhealthy obsession with Ali’s cartoons…

In this Week’s episode of Soap Opera Digest:

On “The Young and The Curious”:

We all know it: the romantic tension has been building for years. But finally – The Man With The Yellow Hat invites Professor Wiseman over to celebrate her birthday!!

Will he finally man up and tell her how he feels about her? Will Professor Wiseman become George’s Monkey Mama??!!?

On “As The Produce Turns”,

Will Bob rot?

Will Larry realize that he has no arms….or FEET?!!?!?

Will Junior Asparagus realize that no one REALLY likes Asparagus?

On “Trains of Our Lives”:

Thomas has a big decision to make. Who will he take to the Valentines Festival at Waterford Station??

There’s Emily, whom he bickers and argues with continuously. Is their aggression toward each other really just frustrated love?

Or will it be Lady from the Magical Railway, who has a way of mysteriously appearing and disappearing out of his life?

Or will Thomas shock everyone and go against the steam and ask out Mavis, a girl of Another Kind – a DIESEL?!?!?

Thomas has a big decision to make – tune in to find out what happens!!

Strange, maybe…but totally worth it for the nap.

Moving Into A Castle.

February 4, 2010 Rachel Callahan The Blissfulness of Life, Toddlers: The Experience

Yes, that’s right – we moved into a Castle this week.

It all started when our new chair for the living room came in:

The chair, as exciting as it was, could not compare to the thrill of the massively ginormous box that housed it:

Chris lovingly carved out windows and then showed Ali how to work them,

Which made me see some very eery similarities between my husband and Miracle Max:
Which would make me…

I’m not a witch, I’m his wife!

Anyway.

Because Chris does everything with an Engineer’s mind, he also ~~tie-wrapped a lantern hook~~ wired indoor lighting, and then we set off to decorating our new castle.

Of course, Chris’ overdesigning spread to the Interior Decorating also, where, while Ali and I were mundanely placing shapes, he drew scenes like this:

And then committed Princess Homicide to create scenes from Narnia
and The Princess And the Toad.

We may have downsized a bit, but the new castle is plenty big enough for Ali to stand up in,

And all three of us to reside in at once:(Although the small space does make the camera flash a bit bright for Ali’s taste.)

And of course there is room for friends – Ali is an ever-ecstatic and welcoming hostess!Or not.

But AJ’s interior design help cheered her up quite a bit,
and AJ’s imagination made it even better.

I sat outside (on my new chair, of course), listening to their adventures of kicking the King out of the castle, and then letting two Princes, both coincidentally named Hagnos, move in with them.

(Mental Note: Be weary of guys named Hagnos.)

By the end of the night, the castle was rather manically full of activity:

And, just like in The Princess Bride, their white steed showed up outside the window just in time for their escape…

…because Prince Hagnos and Prince Hagnos didn’t turn out to be such great catches after all.