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Scoot Over and Make a Little Room, Everyone.

January 14, 2014January 13, 2014 Rachel Callahan I'm a Blog Geek

Well. Hi there!

The internet is a funny place.

And by funny, I mean weird.

For whatever reason, one of my denim posts went viral on Pinterest a year and a half ago. And for some other whatever reason, the same post went viral on Facebook last week. As such, there are a decent number of new people hanging around, so I figured I should introduce myself properly.

So hello! I’m Rachel. I live in Birmingham, Alabama, have been blogging for six years, and have written a ridiculous 1,760 blog posts. And by ridiculous, I mean the posts. And the volume.

My favorite aspect of blogging is new friends – I am devoted to getting to know my readers. I love emails, live off of comments, and look forward to interacting with you on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook. I’m not always super prompt with my email and comment replies (especially this week when I have a couple hundred waiting for me), but I do my very best to get to know everyone who interacts with me. So please – say hi and introduce yourself somewhere!

I don’t always write about jeans. If you followed me because you thought I was a fashion blogger, I’m sorry. I try to be as eclectic as possible, avoiding being shoved into any niche. The highest of compliments is “I would have never guessed you would blog about that today!” However, I do blog about fashion every now and then…you’ll just never know when. Nor will I.

I’m going to be re-running some of my most popular posts here and there over the next few weeks, but if you want a little homework, (and I DO give out gold stars for good work,) here are some of the things I tend to blog about:

Okay. Yes. I’m a Mom. So a lot of my blog posts are about… <gasp> my kids. Hopefully most in are presented in an un-cheesy manner. And they’re cute kids, so that helps.
I even let my kids blog for me sometimes. And vlog. They’re not half bad writers, if I may say so myself.
Okay okay okay. We even homeschool. So sometimes…yes…I talk about homeschooling. But I’m the least natural homeschool Mom on the internet, so don’t expect me to tell you how to make your own gluten-free bread or laundry detergent. If it helps put me into perspective, yesterday morning I told my three year old that he had to finish his breakfast before he could have candy. And his breakfast was a piece of birthday cake.
I am constantly looking for a good investigation, marginally scientific surveys and reports to publish, and other things of a ridiculously geeky nature.
I am infatuated with the internet. And with poking fun at it.
I sometimes make graphics about my favorite television shows, Downton Abbey and The Big Bang Theory.
I find great joy in discovering the worst stuff on Zulily and sharing it with you. I’m not sure that Zulily feels that same joy.
My bank and I have a weird relationship, and it comes up from time to time.
I’ve been attending Alabama Football games with my husband for 14 years. And I document the stunning fashion statements that lie within.
I tend to attract all members of the Awkwardly Intense Busybody Club. And I take notes for you.
I like to point out the more unique facets of life – for instance, how breast pumps talk. And some people eat placenta. And that my city has a graffiti artist named Moist.
Clearly, I don’t mind being disgusting when a blog post calls for it.
Every now and then, I get struck with an inspiration for craftiness. Some fail, others succeed.
I’ve become obsessed with taking photos – especially of my city and sunsets. And they’re almost all taken on my iPhone – and I don’t mind sharing how I take them.
Every now and then, I get serious. But very rarely. I promise.

Now that we know each other a little better, I hope you haven’t run off screaming.

If not, say hello! Introduce yourself, tell me where you’re from, something unique about you, and what sort of blog post appeals to you the most. I’m looking forward to meeting you all!

It’s Fashion, Y’all. Gameday Fashion.

January 2, 2014January 1, 2014 Rachel Callahan Don't Listen to my Fashion Advice, Football and I have a Complicated Relationship, Gameday Fashion, I would NEVER take too many pictures. . ., This is TONGUE IN CHEEK People - Don't take me Seriously., Weird Strange and True

I wasn’t going to post one this year.

I know, I know – it’s tradition.

But I live-tweeted it instead on a particularly fun gameday, and I thought that was good enough.

Apparently it was not.

I had people who missed it. Or wanted it all again. And some that even said “it’s all they wanted for Christmas.”

Weirdos.

I am not one to let people down, regardless of how bonkers their requests are, or how disappointed most fans may be that Alabama is “just” playing in the Sugar Bowl tonight.

(When I was a kid I pictured a gigantic bowl full of sugar with dozens of tiny football players running through it like maggots. Everyone else did too, right?)

At any rate, I present to you: The 2013 Collection of Gameday Sightings.

And those sightings were not limited to humans – even the Wall-Es in attendance got dressed up real nice.

(Who brings their bulldozer tailgating with them?? The same people who name their kids Krimson Tyde, if I had to guess.)

But aside from heavy machinery outfitting, It doesn’t have to cost a fortune to be gameday-appropriate. Sometimes it might even cost suspiciously too little.

Don’t expect those boots to make it in AND out of the stadium before unraveling.

But shoes were a big deal this year – after all, they can make or break the cohesion of your look.

Shoes can also be useful in identifying your body if you get caught up in a stadium trample.

Shoes can keep the flow of your outfit going from your hips to your toes,

And shoes always set off the sexiness of your jeans.

Oh. And did I mention how much Toms loves Alabama Football? Because they do.

But remember – the walk to the stadium is long and tedious. Although team colors are important, comfort is much more so.

But if you just can’t find that perfect pair of gameday shoes, you can always wear them on your chest.

Legwear is also vital to consider on gameday.

Or rather, the lack of legwear.

Because it’s Alabama, where pants are always optional.

Even in boot + knee sock weather.

But that’s okay. Because God approves of all forms of Alabama Fandom.

And He doesn’t mind AT ALL when His favorite football team’s fans take his Holy Scriptures and turn them into cheers.

(But perhaps this is why he gave Auburn all the sunsets and sunrises.)

But God isn’t the only notable Alabama fan.

On gameday, you can spot Johnny Depp and Zach Galifianakis,

random dudes that find Flora-Bama wife-beaters to be perfect Alabama attire,

And Vin Diesel. Wearing HexBug-sized Houndstooth.

So clearly, like Stacy’s Mom we’ve got it going on.

Also, we have overalls and we know how to use them. We’ll do stripes.

We can rock Houndstooth up one leg and down the other.

We can even do random farm animals and make it look awesome.

WE EVEN HAVE MONOGRAM KIOSKS ON OUR SIDE, PEOPLE.

When monograms are for us, who can be against us?

Hurting our chances of winning, however, is the fact that we believe leggings can be pants.

And that we assume chevron can be worn vertically. While straddling a chain fence.

But our ability to successfully layer houndstooth and houndstooth TOTALLY makes up for that.

And, just like at any social occasion, you run the risk of showing up dressed just like your best friend. Or twin sister. Whatever.

To mitigate that possibility, just show up to the game in your bathrobe.

Or, if you prefer, in Mom Jeans or custom-shredded leggings.

And if you want your Mom Jeans to be your own dirty little secret, there are festive solutions for that, too.

But we must always remember.

ALWAYS REMEMBER, people.

LSU Fans are weirder than Alabama fans.

Thank God for LSU.

What Did You Get That You Didn’t Want?

December 30, 2013December 29, 2013 Rachel Callahan Photographical Oddities, Shopping: A Girl's Best Friend, Weird Strange and True

Apparently American culture is more self-centered than ever.

Starting Christmas evening and continuing through the night, I received dozens of emails from online retailers. And they all began their subject line with,

“DIDN’T GET WHAT YOU WANT THIS CHRISTMAS?”

Yes. Let’s encourage ungratefulness and materialism ON CHRISTMAS DAY, giving us all every opportunity to feel entitled to more stuff.

But despite their obnoxious underpinning message, I began to ponder.

What did people get this year that wasn’t what they wanted?

I had a few guesses based on my sightings during the holiday shopping season.

For instance, if you received Disney Princesses: Zombie Apocalypse.

Look at the little girl in the next packaging. HOW CAN SHE BE HAPPY?? Because I KNOW she can’t sleep with this doll sucking out her soul faster than a dementor on a joy ride.

Then there’s My Little Pony: Creepster Edition.

Hasbro has taken our precious childhood memories and mutilated them, ladies!! It’s time we storm the castle with our pitchforks Beauty-And-The-Beast-Style and demand justice!

I mean, there was no need to do this to our sweet, innocent Ponies. Why couldn’t they have just created a new freak of a doll like these people?

(But really – how is she any different than what we all did to our Barbies in 1988? Morphing her into a brunette, painting her horse a creepy color, and pre-popping her head off does not an original product make.)

Okay. Let’s try again. Why couldn’t they have just created a new freak of a doll?

That’s better.

In other news of presents we didn’t want, I believe that Jackie Evancho makes the cut.

“Yes, let’s make a figurine of the nine year old girl who won America’s Got Talent a few years ago.”

“And then let’s put her singing button right in her tiny groin.”

Whichever of Santa’s Elves designed her should be subjected to a background check immediately.

There’s always that year that you ask your Granny for a Rapunzel Doll and she gets confused and buys you this.

Then sometimes your kids may get gifts you wish they hadn’t.

Sometimes you may wish this purely because of appalling product names.

Or because you really prefer for your children not to be able to videotape you without your knowledge. (I might have some firsthand experience with this issue.)

Sometimes other people buy your kids clothes. Sometimes those clothes seem suspiciously like they’re trying to tell you something.

But if you’ve been looking for a more literal way to label your children, those bloomers are the way to go.

And then there are those people. Who go in those stores. And say “Yes, I think she would love a pair of leopard print skinny jeans for her toddler son!”

Thank you, Gap, for always outdoing yourself.

And then a well-meaning Aunt somewhere has at some point said, “Oh I bet she’d ADORE matching her little one at the beach next summer!!”

It’s one thing to be in a wedding with a skinny bridesmaid.

(You know. That one that makes everyone else look lumpy in comparison.)

But do you have any IDEA how beached whale-ish I’d look in the same outfit as my daughter??

Horrors.

Speaking of horrors. There are the people who try to buy you clothes based on your personality.

“Oh, she’s trendy. And likes graphic patterns.”

“She loves going on dates with her husband…”

“She HATES Mom Jeans!”

Just because she hates Mom Jeans doesn’t mean she wants a Star Trek Alien attacking her crotch.

Or her butt.

Don’t miss the original price on those beauties. Or the fact that three sizes are already sold out.

I shudder to think of those Christmas Mornings.

But my favorite Christmas “Gift Suggestion” all season were hashtag necklaces.

Yes, hashtag necklaces.

Perhaps the least classy thing to be created since writing on the butt of pants, hashtag necklaces really underscore the underbutt of social media.

The only people I can imagine buying these are:

1. The Cast of Jersey Shore.
2. Ke$ha and other equally classically sophisticated young ladies, and
2. A relative somewhere who thinks to herself, “Hashtags! Isn’t that something that kids these days are into? I’ll just buy them all. I bet #lmao can stand for “Love My Aunt Odella.”

And really. Is there a better way to let the world know how very #undesirable you are than these two?

And this pair goes together so well that I don’t know how you could wear one without the other.

So.

If YOU were the recipient of a hashtag necklace this Christmas, then by all means. Go by yourself something pretty.

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