Why Me.

Dear Instagram, I know you listen to my conversations and feed me ads accordingly. I can even tell that you’re having Google read my emails and feed me ads that fit into that. But whatever you read or heard that made you think I am the type of person to buy leggings based on how […]

Your Personal Shopper In Waiting.

Have you been itching to house a collection of multicolored Furbys around your neck? Or are you looking for the perfect sports bra to give you coverage and support you crave as you run your next race? Looking for clarity in the many, many boot choices out there? Or are you done with boot season […]

Adult Smash Cakes are the New Promposal.

It’s hard to identify what a decade is about when you’re in the midst of it, but oh-so-easy after they’re over. The ‘70s didn’t know they’d be remembered for their Disco and groovy polyesters. The ‘80s didn’t imagine we’d mostly recall their patchy vests and Duck Head shorts. And the ‘90s had no idea we […]

The Weird and The Wonderful.

If you’re ever bored waiting for your kids to pick out books at the library (or play endless games on the library computers), here’s my library entertainment secret. Go to the children’s biography section and imagine it as a dinner party. Each book is a person sitting around the table, making small talk with those […]

Please Sell Me Beachfront Property in Wyoming.

Something about the marketers that have been trying to reach me lately has seemed a bit…off. So I saved their ads. For us to discuss. Do I wear a hair tie around my wrist most days? Yes. Is Facebook secretly videotaping me so that they are aware of this behavior? Probably. Are we seriously to […]

A Valentine To Remember.

I have strong personal convictions about Valentine’s Day. I think it is inanely stupid. It’s contrived, it’s expected, and it’s downright annoying. It forces single people to feel sad, it obligates non-single people to feel pressured to write something disgustingly mushy on Facebook, AND it’s the single worst night in the year to attempt to […]

A Round-Up of the Random.

Let’s have a round of not-at-all-important distraction, shall we? As I’m sure you can tell by the way I live my life, designer copy paper is an absolute requirement. So thank goodness Staples had this deal on Cynthia Rowley’s designer case of plain white copy paper. …Because my paper deserves better than to come in […]

Cheer Amidst Chaos.

November and December are the busiest, are they not? I’ve barely been able to put coherent thoughts together to talk to my children, let alone write. But I have been taking pictures and screen shots. So I’ll share those with you to buy myself some time. Audible has decided to really hedge their bets on […]

Not-Crazy-Renee and the Creepy Middle Child.

“How’s Not-Crazy-Renee doing?” I’m sure you’re asking that right now, since that’s what all blog readers want to know when they see me. She is, after all, the all-time favorite blog character. With good reason. To answer your question, she’s doing fine. She still feeds Snakey Butters Buttercup, her five year old’s pet python, every […]

The Stranger Stuff of Life.

Facebook has suggested that I find a new way to tell my stories. That’s right, it’s time to quit blogging. It’s time I started sending you a message on a potato instead. I had to go to potatoparcel.com and figure out what was up. I mean, this could be the next wave of communication, guys! […]