Rachel Callahan

TipAngst.

June 18, 2010 Rachel Callahan "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel, Anal Retentivity to a Fault, Quirky quirky quirkiness

Since I’m totally on the subject of my heinous crime of eating out too much this week, I have further thought on the matter. Further thought that greatly disturbs me. Regularly.

First, let’s start with some analysis.

There are 5 types of restaurants in the world, in descending price order:

1. Fancy-Schmancy – these are all of the places that serve the MOST delectable food in the world, but are quite proud of it. You crave to go to these all the time (or at least I do – especially The Melting Pot – constantly – I can’t help it if Newbie happens to like fondue), but typically can only justify the price for a special event.

….or a new baby in your belly that makes you puke unless you feed them Fondue.

Included in this category: The Melting Pot (obviously), Ruth’s Chris, Shula’s Steakhouse, and whatever you would consider out of normal price range.

2. A Normal Restaurant – You know, the typical places of the world. The Olive Garden, Ruby Tuesday, or local places in the same price range. The sit down, order from a menu, and tip your waitress type places.

3. Casual Dining – You order at the counter, hopefully paying slightly less than you would at category two, take your food, desperately search for your own table and get your own refills. If you’re lucky, the staff might bus the tables rather than placing obvious “Bus Yourself, Lazy” trash receptacles at every corner.

Included in this category: Moe’s, Qdoba, Firehouse, Zoës, Taziki’s, etc.

4. Chick-Fil-A – Because it is, quite deservingly, a category in and of itself.

5. Fast food – All other Fast Food that isn’t lucky enough to be Chick-Fil-A.

Today, the subject is Category #3.

I often visit these establishments, especially for lunches out with friends. We also go to these at night sometimes, because they usually have just as good of food as category #2, but at a less expensive price, and with quicker service.

So I guess you’d say that C3 is my favorite category.

But I have one bone of contention with C3. Burning Questions that I need answered.

The tip line on the receipt.

You order at the counter, with the cashier staring you down as you sign your credit card receipt, and there’s almost always a TIP line, just glaring at you, waiting to see how decent of a human being you are.

Maybe I’m the horriblest person in the world, but for the life of me, I don’t understand why they have a tip line. They don’t bring me my food, they don’t refill my drinks, and they usually don’t even take away my trash. What, exactly, would a tip be for in this scenario? The guilty stare-down that the cashier girl is giving me??

I really am a good tipper at C1’s and C2’s, but I just don’t get C3 Tips.

Because it makes me nervous to leave a tip line blank (but not nervous enough to tip), I make a habit of eavesdropping on my friend’s receipt signing at C3s, and I am always quite relieved to find that my friends are not C3 tippers either.

So why oh why oh why is that line there???

The angst and guilt that it causes me, fearing that the cash register girl is about to break out in tears because she’s not going to be able to buy milk for her baby because I didn’t tip her for ringing up my order very nearly makes me cry. I just can’t take it! The torture must end!!!

So, if you know what the purpose of the C3 tip line is, please enlighten me. And, Please reassure me that it is totally normal, acceptable, and not judged-by-the-cashier-at-all to leave a C3 tip line blank. Please.

And if you’re a C3 tipper, well, feel free to judge me. Because you know I’m already judging myself.

Restaurant.com – Amazing Values and a Giveaway!!

June 17, 2010 Rachel Callahan Giveaways and Contests

So I’ve already mentioned this week that we love to eat out, and we especially love to eat out on a discount!! There’s nothing that feels better than saving money on something you’re going to buy anyway, and Restaurant.com helps you do just that.

Restaurant.com has been around since 1999, building their restaurant network and offering amazing savings for diners. You can buy gift certificates there with a guaranteed savings of AT LEAST 50%!

The way it works is that you search for your area (or an area that you’ll be visiting soon), and it will come up with all of the restaurants that have gift certificates available on Restaurant.com. Different restaurants offer gift certificates in different denominations, but the savings are amazing!

The prices are as follows:

$10 gift certificates cost $4
$25 gift certificates cost $10
$50 gift certificates cost $20
$75 gift certificates cost $30
$100 gift certificates cost $40

See?? AMAZING deals! They’re great to buy for your own use, or for gifts. In fact, if you’re buying it for a gift, you can buy a general gift certificate to Restaurant.com, and then the recipient can pick their own restaurant to use it at.

They offer a network of over 15,000 restaurants nationwide and, to date, Restaurant.com customers have saved more than $100 Million Dollars!!

Also, in honor of Father’s Day, Restaurant.com is asking people to share their ideas that dads can save money by submitting descriptions to their Facebook page. Restaurant.com is also running exclusive deeper discounts on top of $25 gift certificates that are normally available for $10 to help dads everywhere experience more savings for dining.

You can also visit www.Restaurant.com and join the free email list to receive notices about sale promotions.

And, they’ve been nice enough to provide four $50 gift certificates for me to give away to you! If you are one of the four winners, you can go on their site and redeem your certificate for $50 worth of dining with any restaurant in their network!

If you’d like to be entered to win one of these four gift certificates, Leave a comment here with which restaurant you would choose.

You can earn up to four extra entries if you:

Tweet, blog, OR Facebook about this giveaway
Follow Restaurant.com on Facebook or join their email list
Subscribe to OR Follow my blog
Follow me on Twitter OR Facebook

(be sure to leave separate comments for your extra entries.)

Best of luck! This giveaway is open until Monday, June 28th. The four winners will be randomly selected and posted on my giveaway winners page on Tuesday, June 29th.

Disclosure: I received no compensation or review products for this giveaway. I adore Restaurant.com and offer this giveaway because I love you. All of you. Well, almost all of you. And my opinions are always my own.

Restaurant Critic, Three Year Old Style.

June 16, 2010 Rachel Callahan Delicious Greekness, Kids: The Experience., Parent of the Year

I sometimes feel guilty for how familiar my child is with all of the restaurants in town. I mean, what kind of mother AM I that my three year old could give a well-informed tour of the city’s dining establishments, including who has the best Chicken Salad, Grilled Cheeses, and coloring pages?!

I mean, I love to cook, but we apparently go out a lot, too. Especially for lunch.

So the other day, we were meeting Ashley, AJ, and Tessa at Taziki’s for lunch, a great casual Greek restaurant in town.

I told Ali where we were going, and of course she knew the place.

“I LOVE Taziki’s!!! They have really fun toys!!!”

Hmm…maybe her restaurant knowledge isn’t as good as I feared. “No baby, Taziki’s has food, not toys.”

She mumbles in the back seat….”They HAVE toys.”

Whatever. I guess she’ll just be disappointed.

When we got to our table, Ali quickly proved herself right and myself, as usual, completely wrong.

Oh yeah…I DID take this picture of Ali and her Taziki Toy last time we were there…

And Taziki’s provides such versatile toys for their patrons…it can be used as a Spyglass-On-The-Wrong-Eye, OR it can transform a couple of Fairies into Fly Girls!

Granted, the waitress MIGHT have had trouble locating our table since they couldn’t see our order numbers, but the Fly Girls didn’t mind…they were too busy, as AJ informed us, “Saving that day!!!!” to eat anyway.

Now if only I could find where Taziki’s buys their fun toys, I’d have a perpetually entertained toddler…because really, who needs REAL toys anyway?!

I’m Not Intelligent Enough for Intelligender.

June 15, 2010 Rachel Callahan Actually Possibly Informational, I'm a Glutton for Adventure, Pregnancy: The Psychoses.

A little over a month ago, I asked your opinion on whether I should take the new, fancy, unknown-whether-it’s-trustworthy Intelligender gender predictor.

I finally decided I would take it, but here was my logic as to how I wasn’t going to let myself get “all crazy” attached to the results: You see, (and this is totally a secret), if I had to say what I wanted this baby to be, I’d have to say a girl. I know, everyone tells me how much I’d love a boy, and I’m sure I would, but that’s just my initial desire.

And, since this predictor is looking for a male hormone or the lack thereof, I figure (completely my own opinion) that it is MORE accurate if it tells you it’s a boy.

So my plan was: If it says a girl, I can take it with a grain of salt and assume there’s a good chance it could be wrong. If it says it’s a boy, I would be safe believing it, because I wouldn’t be disappointed on sonogram day if it turned out to be a girl.

(Not that I overanalyze or anything.)

Also, my sonogram is less than a month away(!!!) – July 14th. Surely I can’t get TOO attached to the results, right?

SO. I finally decided to take it this morning.

After making sure that I had jumped through all of the hoops recommended for the best results and taking a couple of very deep breaths,

I took the test.

It has three parts. A plain ole’ cup, a huge syringe, and a sealed test cup with all sorts of fancy crystals and minerals in it.

You pee in the cup, then you use the syringe to get the EXACT amount (20 ml) of pee that the test requires, then you insert it in the test cup, swirl (not shake), and wait around for 10 minutes.

If your pee turns green, it’s (predicting) a boy. If it stays relatively yellow, it’s (predicting) a girl. They have colored labels to help you decide the color of your product.

So, after 10 minutes,

I totally couldn’t decide what it read.

(Since I know that you’ve always wanted to see my pee-mixed-with-granules-of-mystery-minerals in a cup..)

At first I thought it was a boy, because it had a greenish tint…

But then I realized the coloring was coming from the minerals, not the pee itself, so thought it meant a girl.

I read the “what to do if you’re uncertain” part, and it said “We’d be glad to help you!! Just call our 1-800 number!!!”

So I called, and got this… “We’re sorry, but the person you’re trying to reach is unavailable.”

Four more calls throughout the morning, same recording.

I checked out their website, hoping for pictures of real samples, and thankfully, they did have quite a few pictures. On their results page, most of the “boy” results were dark and nasty – they looked like a bubbling brew of tar or something. So I started thinking “girl” again.

They also had the Chinese Gender Chart on their website and a list of all of the “old wives tales”…..and on all that were applicable, they predicted girl, too (especially the “more acne” one – wow my face is offended by this kid).

Finally, at lunchtime, I tried one more time to call them. My call rang through to a very nice lady.

She seemed to think it sounded like a girl reading (saying not to look at the minerals for the color but the actual liquid), but told me to email my pictures to them for a more definitive answer, so I did.

I haven’t heard back from them yet.

So I’m still undecided as to what the “prediction” is.

(Feel free to give your opinion regarding the tint of my pee.)

The bottom line:

As I waited those agonizing 10 minutes that led to only vagueness, I found myself feeling a bit too much invested in the results. I was NERVOUS. And once I get a definitive answer from the Intelligenderers, I’m afraid I’ll put too much stock into it.

I already do think I’m having a girl a LITTLE bit more than I did yesterday (I’ve been pretty convinced it was a boy), and I don’t know how I feel about that.

Am I glad I took it? I don’t know yet.

But I do know that July 14th can’t get here soon enough.

Editor’s Note: Intelligender answered me the next day and said… “Based on these pictures this is a girl result. The only thing that matters is the color of the urine and there can be dark sediment on the bottom.”

A Completely Unnecessary Blow to the Pregnant Woman’s Psyche.

June 14, 2010 Rachel Callahan I embarrass myself just for your amusement., Just My Luck, Parent of the Year, Pregnancy: The Psychoses.

Last night, I had dinner with my LifeGroup, a group of teenage girls from church that a couple of my friends and I have called our own for the past three years. We had a great time, but afterward, I was TIRED. It had been a long day for a still-in-the-low-energy-stage pregnant woman, and I was really looking forward to lying motionless and slothlike on the couch for the remainder of the evening.

It was close to Ali’s bedtime, and when I had texted Chris to tell him I was on my way home, he told me that they were finishing up dinner.

So I did what any ~~horrible parent~~ exhausted person who really just wanted to lay on the couch would do….I stalled.

I filled up my car with gas….bought an Icee….popped my head into CVS to see if they had any Cami Secrets (i.e. Maternidickcamis) in their “As Seen on TV” section (which they did NOT have. Had I wanted Aqua Globes, I could have had them. Or Bump-Its. But no Cami Secrets)…

When I got home, Chris and Ali were at the VERY end of the bedtime routine.

Score!

All I had to do to make it to the couch was give Ali a kiss goodnight, change into my jammies, and I was HOME FREE.

Feeling a bit guilty about my disgustingly lazy parenting, I decided that I would get in Ali’s bed with her to give her a good hug, snuggle, and kiss goodnight.

I put all of one knee on her bed, and her bed chose that exact moment to immediately and very offendingly totally give up on life and BREAK.

One side of her mattress and bed totally caved in, and all of a sudden, Ali was laying at a 25% incline, looking at me with shock and awe.

Seriously. Seriously!?!?

I’ve gained all of 0.4 pounds so far!! Things should NOT (yet) be caving in from beneath me!!

Seriously, bed?!?!? Seriously!

So, of course, Ali had to come out of the bed, Chris had to go get all his power tools, lights had to be turned on, bedtimes had to be reversed, and my dreams of being a completely lazy bum on the couch vanished before my eyes.

Ali and I snuggled in the chair (out of more guilt) while Chris assessed the damage caused by my whale of a self.

He worked on it for a while, grumbling about Ashley Furniture having very poor construction (smart man) while I, trying to be conciliatory for breaking our life, said “at least it happened now and not in the middle of the night…”

Finally, after exploring the possibilities of fixing my horrific destruction, he decided that the best solution was to “make it work” for the night, and then come back to it when he had more time and “make it strong enough that all three of us could jump on it at once and it wouldn’t budge”.

(I’m pretty sure he may have bought a ton or two of steel and reinforced concrete today…)

And so, he sat her mattress down on top of the mattress in the trundle drawer underneath her bed, and rigged it up a bit so that she couldn’t fall through any holes or hit her head on any sharp corners.

Ali wasn’t too happy with me for annihilating her bed,

And when she woke up this morning, the first thing she said was, “Mommy, why did you break my bed last night?”

“Because Mommy is huge, honey. Because I’m giganticorically monstrous. And I’m only going to be getting huger. On a daily basis. For the next SIX months. So you might want to go ahead and put away all of your valuables so that I don’t accidentally destroy them with my enormous girth.”

Random Driblets of Nearly Unimportant Information

June 13, 2010 Rachel Callahan "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel, Actually Possibly Informational, I'm a Blog Geek, Just My Luck, Kids: The Experience.

Random Driblet #1:

Due to the rising tide of oil in our Alabama gulf, our Orange Beach relatives, Aunt Kitty and Uncle Leo (of Toenail Art infamy) are getting involved in some activism. Because of that, they’re getting interviewed by multiple national (and international) news channels, so if you see/saw a man with super curly white hair (but possibly with the mistaken name of “Buzz” instead of “Leo” in his byline) next to his wife wearing Toenail Jewelry, you’ll know who they belong to.

As a part of their protests, they’ve been coming up with some great t-shirt slogans (some of which are non-repeatable here, but I’m sure you can imagine). My favorite so far I loved so much that I had to make Chris and I one using Zazzle:

I’ll be wearing mine as soon as it arrives early next week. You know, before I’d need the Maternity version.

Feel free to join us in our “protests” and order yourself one – we share like that.

Come to think of it, maybe Leo’s next toenail art project needs to be a BP protest sign…each bud of the BP flower could be a toenail clipping. Even Greta Van Susteren would tear herself away from Joran Van Der Sloot to interview Leo for THAT.

Random Driblet #2:

Something happened to me the other night that I have been anticipating for two and a half years.

Well maybe not but I HAVE wondered if it would ever happen.

Okay, maybe I have but I’m just ashamed to admit it.

We were eating dinner at Jim N Nicks, and as I was completely devouring my More Cluck for your Buck Chicken Bar-B-Que potato (because Newbie thinks that there’s something really amazing about the mixture of bar-b-que sauce and sour cream), someone walked up to tell me….

(drumroll)

that she reads my blog and is a fan and just had to say hi.

Thank you, Lindsey, for making my blogging career complete. I can now die in peace. I mean, I don’t plan on it, but when I do, it will be peaceful.

Random Driblet #3:

As requested by several of you, I compiled the listing of all of the 111 movies you recommended I watch last week, in order of their number of recommendations and whether I’ve seen them or not (aka in full-on geek fashion). If you want a listing of old movies that are (apparently) worth watching, the list is now published on my other blog, B-Sides. Enjoy!

Random Driblet #4:

For months before I got pregnant, Ali asked me when I was going to have a baby in my tummy, when she was going to have a little sister, when I was finally going to suck it up, get with the program, come through for her, and provide her the playmate that she so very much deserved.

For months. Maybe even years.

Then we tell her I have a baby in my tummy – and all we get is very nearly total disinterest.

She’s not thrilled, she’s not excited, and she’s certainly not thanking me for all of the work and puke I’m doing to make her sibling dreams come true.

Not that I’m bitter or anything.

This week, though, there has been a glimmer of excitement.

Driving in the car…

“Is the baby in your tummy big yet?”

“No, it’s still very little.”

“When’s it going to get big?”

“In a few months!”

“I’m ready for the baby in your tummy to get big and come out!”

(Excited that she’s finally giving me some credit for all this laborious work I’m doing), “Great! Why?”

“Because I’m ready for it to be Christmas.”

Lesson for all of you: Don’t lump baby birth dates in with gift-receiving holidays when explaining to a three year old. Gifts ALWAYS trump babies.

But now, she’s getting nothing but Toenail Art for Christmas this year.

Sarah McLachlan New Album Giveaway!

June 11, 2010 Rachel Callahan Giveaways and Contests

There’s no better way to relive former times than to listen to the music that you lived by during those years. And even better is when those artists come out with new, fresh music – but with the same sound that you remember so well.

Sarah McLachlan is doing just that – with her first album release in seven years, she is coming back to the forefront with her unique sound and gorgeous voice. Laws of Illusion will be released on June 15th!

I received a pre-release of four of the tracks on the album, and it totally took me back to my teenage years. Her soulful voice is so comforting, so memorable, so unique, so amazing!! This new album is totally Sarah, but totally 2010 at the same time. I can’t wait to hear the rest of the tracks!

If you’d like to win a copy of Sarah McLachlan’s new CD, simply comment on this post to enter!!

You can earn up to four extra entries if you:

Tweet, blog, OR Facebook about this giveaway
Follow Sarah McLachlan on Facebook or Twitter
Subscribe to OR Follow my blog
Follow me on Twitter OR Facebook

(be sure to leave separate comments for your extra entries.)

Best of luck! This giveaway is open until Monday, June 21st. The winner will be randomly selected and posted on my giveaway winners page on Tuesday, June 22nd.

Disclosure: I received music to review for this giveaway, but my opinions, as always, are my own.

Whatever Happened to the Dickie?

June 10, 2010 Rachel Callahan "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel, Don't Listen to my Fashion Advice, Pregnancy: The Psychoses., Rachel's "Brilliant" Marketing Ideas, Utter Silliness

So it’s getting to be about the time that I at least start going through my maternity clothes, seeing what I can acquiesce to wear again and what I wore so much with Ali that I can’t bear the sight of, and getting them washed and ready completely engulf my wardrobe.

I’m not showing yet, but I’m at that horrible stage of wow-she’s-really-packing-on-the-tummy-flab, my second least favorite phase of pregnancy appearance, only behind oh-my-gosh-I-just-gave-birth-and-I-had-no-idea-I’d-look-this-Jabba-The-Hut-horrific-how-am-I-going-to-get-rid-of-these-huge-slabs-of-gelatinous-skin?!? stage.

The thing that I’m least looking forward to about maternity clothes is the requirement of a cami. Since 99% of maternity shirts are of the crossover variety,

and people that have my, err, body type need a bit more extra coverage, I’ll be required to wear a cami for the next six months.

And, since in my delicate state there is nothing more uncomfortable than binding on my stomach area except for binding AND rolling up because maternity camis are all of a millimeter longer than a regular cami giving absolutely no coverage to the belly area, I just am not happy about this inevitability.

And so, I often find myself day dreaming about creating some sort of fake cami – a nice triangle of stretchy fabric that somehow affixes to each side of my crossover shirts, thereby pretending to be a cami without all the binding and rolling.

And that thought turns into reminiscing about Dickies.

I remember as a kid going to the flea market and seeing rows and rows of multi-colored dickies, all lined up and ready to be chosen by delighted 80 year old women. I especially remember the shiny gold and silver ones – wow were they AWESOME.

…but not nearly as awesome as Cousin Eddie in his show-thru-his-white sweater black Dickie, the absolute epitomic moment of Dickie history:

(Sadly for my husband, that’s one of the only moments I appreciate about that movie, with much thanks to my friend Nikki, who pointed it out the subtle moment to me when I would normally be going to my happy place all because THAT movie was on.)

Of course, even if I could revisit the flea markets of my childhood and procure one of these amazing contraptions, a dickie would never work for my crossover maternity shirts, because the bottom of the dickie wouldn’t QUITE make it down to the nethermost point of that way-too-deep V, so there’d be this awesomely awkward skin triangle, making me perfectly fit to be Cousin Eddie’s bizarre sister.

So, that being said, I’m just going to HAVE to create the world premier of the Maternidickcami. If I were to toast myself in a frosted moose glass regarding this undertaking, my self-toast would be…May I have the success of creating a garment accessory as classy as Cousin Eddie himself.

Oh and by the way – until you’ve said Maternidickcami out loud, you haven’t lived.

The (Movie) Education of Rachel

June 9, 2010 Rachel Callahan A Day in the Life, I embarrass myself just for your amusement., Weird Strange and True

So, apparently, children’s movies were not the only movies that I was behind on watching. Last Thursday night at our small group, the topic of old movies somehow came up.

Not old like Casablanca old, but 80’s and 90’s old. Because we’re getting old these days, you know.

Anyway, so somehow old movies came up. And every single one they mentioned, I had to admit that I hadn’t seen it.

And so, in ever increasingly high-pitched voices, my friends kept shrieking,

“You haven’t seen Steel Magnolias?!?”

“You haven’t seen Fried Green Tomatoes?!?!”

You haven’t seen Apollo 13?!?!?!?!”

YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE TITANIC??!?!?!?!?!?!?”

And, all of a sudden, I realized how uneducated I really was.

And, I think, my husband was a bit ashamed of me.

Because of his shame, he has decided to embark on a great undertaking – to help me go back and get my GED in 80’s and 90’s movies.

Last Saturday night, I watched Ghost for the first time. Besides the fact that Demi Moore was going through a shockingly awkward stage, it was quite enjoyable, for being an “old” movie. And it also turned into some extremely weird dreams.

A couple of weeks ago (before this Great Undertaking started), I saw Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves for the first time (followed closely by watching the new Robin Hood movie that’s out in theatres now). For the 9 year old girl that had the soundtrack and absolutely wore out “Everything I Do I Do It For You”, I was a bit confused that the song didn’t even come on until the credits, but according to Chris, it was the “90’s’ thing to do”.

(I’m not sure where I was in the 90’s, but apparently where I wasn’t was in the movie theaters.)

So now, Chris has our Netflix completely chock full of all of these “classic” movies that I somehow missed out on during my formative years. And, seeing that I’m living on the couch these days, it’s a good time to cram for my Movie Exams. But Chris is quite concerned that he will not be thorough enough in my education, and wanted me to ask all of you…

What movie would make you gasp and shriek if you found out that I haven’t seen it?

Because I probably haven’t. And he’ll definitely add it to my Netflix lineup. So go ahead and gasp and shriek now, and then tell me what movies I need to add to my homework.

Because my undereducated state is, clearly, unacceptable to everyone. Especially my husband.

YBUtT

June 8, 2010 Rachel Callahan Kids: The Experience., Weird Strange and True

As I’ve mentioned a couple of times, my kid is fascinated – no, completely and unequivocally obsessed – with “Yucky Bubble Gum Under the Table.”

And, since Chris and I don’t chew gum, I’m pretty sure that her comprehension of the stuff is that it’s some sort of organic bacterial mold that grows underneath tables that is to be avoided at all costs, or you might find yourself growing the same sort of nasty growth on your underneath.

(Something I didn’t take into consideration when telling her that her Princess, sparkly toothpaste was Bubble Gum Flavored. Anyone need a tube of kid’s sparkly Princess bubble gum flavored toothpaste, hardly-been-used?)

Ali suspects that this very sticky growth that she’s been studying so intently spawned from The Famous Charleston Pole:

Which makes perfect sense to me.

Being that I’m not a gum chewer myself, I’ve been a bit in awe and wonder (and quite a bit of disgust) at how prevalent YBUtT is. I mean – the girl has NEVER been under a table where she wasn’t able to name me MULTIPLE specimens of the stuff growing under there.

Which makes me spend way too much time pondering…do all gum chewers stick their gum under tables? And I just don’t understand the NECESSITY to do so because I’m not a gum chewer?

(Like people without boogers just don’t understand that sometimes you absolutely NEED to pick your nose?)

Or is there a minority percentage of gum-stickers that are just VERY busy, somewhat like the Gideon’s supernatural ability to leave a bible in every single hotel room?

At any rate, the moment that nearly convinced ME that YBUtT really is something that grows under tables was at our first sonogram.

I headed to the bathroom to put on the proper garments for my upcoming internal movie, and Ali and Chris waited around in the Sonogram room.

Ali stooped under one of the ever-so-important sonogram-room tables to check out the specimens right before I left the room. From the bathroom, I heard the following…

Ali: “EWWWW, Daddy!! There’s Yucky Bubble Gum Under the Table!!!!”

Chris: “No, I don’t think so, honey. That’s not a normal table – that’s a Sonogram table.”

Ali: “Then what is this red stuff under here?”

Chris, bending over: “Oh. Wow. There IS Yucky Bubble Gum Under the Sonogram Table. Who would DO that?!”

(Sonogram tech nervously laughs…which led us to seriously suspect her in the crime.)

And so there you go. No surface that has an underside is immune to this rapidly spreading (and very colorful) growth. So don’t touch it – or your underside might end up with sticky splotches, too.