And, since Chris and I don’t chew gum, I’m pretty sure that her comprehension of the stuff is that it’s some sort of organic bacterial mold that grows underneath tables that is to be avoided at all costs, or you might find yourself growing the same sort of nasty growth on your underneath.
(Something I didn’t take into consideration when telling her that her Princess, sparkly toothpaste was Bubble Gum Flavored. Anyone need a tube of kid’s sparkly Princess bubble gum flavored toothpaste, hardly-been-used?)
Ali suspects that this very sticky growth that she’s been studying so intently spawned from The Famous Charleston Pole:
Which makes perfect sense to me.
Being that I’m not a gum chewer myself, I’ve been a bit in awe and wonder (and quite a bit of disgust) at how prevalent YBUtT is. I mean – the girl has NEVER been under a table where she wasn’t able to name me MULTIPLE specimens of the stuff growing under there.
Which makes me spend way too much time pondering…do all gum chewers stick their gum under tables? And I just don’t understand the NECESSITY to do so because I’m not a gum chewer?
(Like people without boogers just don’t understand that sometimes you absolutely NEED to pick your nose?)
Or is there a minority percentage of gum-stickers that are just VERY busy, somewhat like the Gideon’s supernatural ability to leave a bible in every single hotel room?
At any rate, the moment that nearly convinced ME that YBUtT really is something that grows under tables was at our first sonogram.
I headed to the bathroom to put on the proper garments for my upcoming internal movie, and Ali and Chris waited around in the Sonogram room.
Ali stooped under one of the ever-so-important sonogram-room tables to check out the specimens right before I left the room. From the bathroom, I heard the following…
Ali: “EWWWW, Daddy!! There’s Yucky Bubble Gum Under the Table!!!!”
Chris: “No, I don’t think so, honey. That’s not a normal table – that’s a Sonogram table.”
Ali: “Then what is this red stuff under here?”
Chris, bending over: “Oh. Wow. There IS Yucky Bubble Gum Under the Sonogram Table. Who would DO that?!”
(Sonogram tech nervously laughs…which led us to seriously suspect her in the crime.)
And so there you go. No surface that has an underside is immune to this rapidly spreading (and very colorful) growth. So don’t touch it – or your underside might end up with sticky splotches, too.