In the world of baby-having, things have changed a lot since I partook – largely due to social media. And, much like all that’s changed in the world of wedding-having, I am not sad that I missed it. Any of it. I’m not sad that Pinterest Pressure was an unknown substance 16 years ago, and […]
Love Me With Your Whole Emoji.
Of my 1,171 Facebook friends, approximately 1,500 of them currently sell something that involves a product, a downline, and a requirement of a plethora of Facebook posts. My Facebook feed covers them all. Multiple times over. I will never be without the ability to buy Matilda Jane or Advocare or Avon or Young Living or […]
A Valentine To Remember.
I have strong personal convictions about Valentine’s Day. I think it is inanely stupid. It’s contrived, it’s expected, and it’s downright annoying. It forces single people to feel sad, it obligates non-single people to feel pressured to write something disgustingly mushy on Facebook, AND it’s the single worst night in the year to attempt to […]
Diary of a Tired Mom: New Year, New Rambles.
Musings, stories, and random observations of a tired mother don’t always promise to make sense. Saturday morning, as I was driving to my favorite place to run, which happens to be in the middle of Birmingham’s fanciest suburb, I saw a fully grown man, with a salt and pepper beard, skateboarding down the road, in […]
CDC Warning: New FTD, Lularoe, Now Classified as Pandemic.
FTDs, or Facebookually Transmitted Diseases, are now at an all-time high. Please be aware of the latest FTD, know if you are at risk, and prevent further transmission. Lularoe. Any woman who is Facebookually active can get Lularoe. Lularoe can cause very serious complications if not treated, and is extremely easy to transmit to […]
November 10: National Day of Rainbows and Unicorns.
“You know what the world needs more of today? Rainbows and Unicorns.” These were my thoughts when I opened up Facebook. Two minutes into my feed… “Unicorns. Rainbows. Stat.” Five minutes in… “I NEED A UNICORN CRAPPING A RAINBOW THIS INSTANT.” I opened up my Bitmoji app to try and find the picture of my […]
7 Things Better Than a Debate.
Tonight is the first presidential debate. I know, right. Approximately 55% of the country moans in desperation, crying out to God, asking “Is this the judgment we’ve read about in Revelation??” Apocalyptic or not, a debate between Trump and Clinton is perhaps the last thing I want to watch, especially since they’re not even letting […]
How Hamilton is Actually a Parenting Self-Help Guide.
Haven’t you always assumed that life would be more fun if it were a musical? Me neither. I never did understand how people could sing their lives in perfect rhythm and rhyme in real time – not to mention in harmony with their fellow life-livers. However. Hamilton has changed my mind. Due to the constant […]
Diary of A Tired Mom: Uncomfortable Truths.
This post felt like I’d taken two familiar genres and thrown them into a smoothie together: my Diary of a Tired Mom posts, and my friend Katherine’s madly fantastic Uncomfortable Truths, which has 66 volumes (and counting.) Be sure to read hers, because they’re delightfully more uncomfortable than mine. 1. Although my elbow and shoulder (and finger) are […]
A Bathroom Conundrum Worth Discussing.
Saturday afternoon, Chris took me out on a date. He arranged babysitting, made reservations, gave me specific instructions (put your hair up and bring your camera), and that’s all the information I got. I had no idea where we were going or what our date entailed. I WAS surprised when I was still in the […]