In the world of baby-having, things have changed a lot since I partook – largely due to social media. And, much like all that’s changed in the world of wedding-having, I am not sad that I missed it. Any of it.
I’m not sad that Pinterest Pressure was an unknown substance 16 years ago, and I’m not sad that Gender Reveal Parties were as yet uninvented 7 and 11 years ago.
Back in my wedding day, you had a three-ring binder where you tore out pictures from actual paper Wedding Magazines to get ideas to show your florist and baker – in real life.
(I still have mine somewhere if any youngsters want to see a relic of the olden days.)
Back in my baby-having days, you bought a book to tell you What To Expect When You’re Expecting.
But now…they have charts and comparisons and infographics and everyone including your 7th grade gym teacher gets to know exactly when your baby is the size of an avocado.
And that’s what we’re here to talk about today. The whole “Size of My Baby” chart.
It’s always fruit.
Why is it always fruit?
We need something new in our size comparisons to en utero humans. Mainly because fruit comes in a variety of sizes. I’ve seen a grape the size of a plum and an apple the size of a clementine. I’ve seen a watermelon the size of a canteloupe and I so rarely see an actual butternut squash that how exactly is that supposed to help me know the size of your baby?
And also. When you get to the 36 week mark, it seems like there’s a better comparison to “size of my baby” than keeping on the whole fruit track.
So I made a more…creative chart.
Perhaps this is influenced by my rampant binge watching of Parks and Rec and identifying way too much with April Ludgate.
And perhaps I’m a bit….non-traditional when it comes to life.
After all, my children know just what to look for in order to determine whether roadkill is photogenic or not.
And perhaps, just perhaps, there are a lot of pregnant ladies out there right now that are not feeling nearly perky enough to tell you excitedly that their baby is currently the size of a starfruit.
So I created a new chart.
Feel free to use this to help your pregnant friends along. And if you need me to make stickers for their weekly photographs, you just let me know. Because I am here to serve.