The phase “I’m an outdoors person.” If so, then why do we refer to it in terms of not being inside of doors, which came…kinda…secondary? Advertisements that proclaim “ENTIRE STORE UP TO 40% OFF!!!” make me have the following thought process: UP to 40% off? How many items, exactly, are actually 40% off, and how […]
On Prophecies and Swearing.
My Granddad was a giant of a man. I was never that impressed with Fezzik, Gulliver, or Goliath, because they couldn’t measure up to my Granddad’s height and girth. He was born to a Greek Immigrant and a Alabama Woman – a couple who had gotten married before he could speak English or she could […]
The Holiday Gift Guide You’ve Been Waiting For.
According to my inbox folder that is labeled “marketing pitches” (which oftentimes shares real estate with the one labeled “trash”), all bloggers are apparently expected – nay, required – to publish a “Holiday Gift Guide.” And since I never want to shirk my responsibilities to you, my dear readers, I decided that I better compile […]
Word to My Mother. {An Apology}
Dear Mom, Sometimes I write long and wordy blog posts, taking much care to define things, link to explanations, or otherwise clarify references for those that might not understand. But most of the time, I go with subtlety, assuming that my reading audience will pick up on my references and find them more amusing if […]
Zulily For The Holidays.
Whether you’re skipping out on Black Friday shopping (like me) or are already back and chilling from Black Friday shopping (like the other crazy folks), I’m here to show you what you’ve already missed on Zulily. Because the last three months of the year are precious times to watch Zulily offerings – there are priceless […]
Observations of the Sleeping.
I don’t often get to see my children sleeping. Some of our friends go into their kid’s rooms every night to check on them and kiss them on the head, but we are not one of those families. We do nothing that might possibly disturb their sleep – especially if it is just for our […]
Abrupt iPhone Subject Changes.
(There’s no segue between photos in my iPhone. So why should I provide them?) I was searching my Amazon app for Converse Sneakers for Ali. Inexplicably nestled within the dozens of various colored shoes was this beauty: The first thing that struck me was the price. $30+ for a silicone mould* of a baby? Secondly. […]
Secondary iPhone, With Wheels.
Y’all know that I love my car. Right? *Toast Not Included For the record, I still do. Her geekiness mirrors my own in a way that creates an intimate bond that I have previously never experienced with an automobile. (Plus, her cupholders and floorboards have 8 interchangeable brightly colored lighting schemes.) She constantly surprises me […]
Can’t Buy Me Love.
My bank may put a freeze on my accounts for reposting this, but I just HAVE to. Because Chris got a personalized thank you note in the mail last week. From a female teller. Thanking him for his business. Fortunately for me, when I originally posted this, my commenters informed me of these elusive collectible […]