Birth, although an amazingly beautiful and miraculous occasion, is, let’s face it, also pretty fantastically disgusting. You’ve got blood and guts and possibly poo and definitely puke and meconium and blood and guts and…Placenta. There’s just nothing pretty about placenta. (I would normally insert a picture of a placenta in all it’s glory right here, […]
Ali Get Your Gun and the Explanation of Freaky Baby.
We decided it was finally time to register for a few things for Noah. And, since it’s been four years since I’ve filled out a baby registry, I learned a few new things. My first surprise was that although adults (especially husbands) are completely mesmerized by the privilege of using The Barcode Gun, kids find […]
Hijacked.
These days I often feel like I have been totally and completely hijacked. It’s as if Noah is a miniature computer-programming genius (I picture him looking like a 15-inch-tall Riley from National Treasure) that has broken into my system controls, cracked my password, disabled my alarm system and security cameras, and scrambled all of my […]
Am I Five or Am I Six?
Obviously, I’m a scientific thinker. And being such, nothing confounds me more than things that SHOULD be scientific actually being ridiculously confusing and conflicting. …which means that all methods of pregnancy calculations drive me mad. First of all, the whole count-from-two-weeks-BEFORE-you-conceive thing. It’s an amazing feat of nature that on the day you conceive, you’re […]
Caffeination Liberation
“1-2 caffeinated drinks a day.” It’s the mantra that is told to every pregnant lady, over and over and over and over, filled with guilt and threatening menace should you cross the line. Of course, I’ve always taken that to mean “1-2 Giant 44 Ounce Caffeine Bombs a day”, so that way I never feel […]
To See or Not To See?
Chris ran into the room excitedly yesterday… “Look what I found!!!” “What?” “The heartbeat monitor we used with Ali!! We need to try it with Noah!” “You DO remember that thing never worked with Ali, right? We never heard anything but gurgles.” “I know…but maybe it will be different with him!!” (Reminder: Chris is nesting. […]
Pregnancy: You Know, THAT Dream Come True.
There are certain dreams that are universal, for whatever psycho-babbly Freudian reason. We all dream that we can fly… We all dream that we’re in our underwear in front of everyone we know… And, in the morning, when it’s almost time to wake up and we’ve been sleeping soundly for many hours, we all dream […]
This Just In: Boys Will Be Boys. And I’m Frightened.
So Chris and I were lying in bed last night, doing what couples do when they’re lying in bed at night (checking Facebook on our iPhones), and enjoying reading the sudden outburst of boy mischief being reported on Facebook. The first Facebook Status we read was this one from our friend Rachel G: “seriously??!!?? so […]
BlogHer Stream of Consciousness : Day One
4:15 AM. If today had been a football Saturday and Chris had woken me up at that time to head to Tuscaloosa, I’d still be grumbling tonight. As it was, I magically rolled out of bed and got ready for my flight without complaining for a second. I explained to Chris that I must have […]
Inside View.
Yesterday I had my REAL mid-way through my pregnancy sonogram. (And yes, it’s true, I’ve had like five sonograms now. I don’t know how I’ve managed to rack up that many, although my tilted unicorn was definitely helpful in the process.) Noah checked out great – a couple of days ahead of schedule, and, much […]