There are certain dreams that are universal, for whatever psycho-babbly Freudian reason.

We all dream that we can fly…

We all dream that we’re in our underwear in front of everyone we know…

And, in the morning, when it’s almost time to wake up and we’ve been sleeping soundly for many hours, we all dream that we’ve got to pee, so (in our dream) we go pee, and then STILL have to pee, because (fortunately) we didn’t actually pee.

It’s an infuriating dream, and tends to be repetitive. You pee, you still gotta pee, so you go pee again, you still gotta pee, so you go pee again, and you finally wake up, still having to pee and quite frustrated.

THAT, my friends, is the reality that IS pregnancy.

(Yes, I did spend some time pondering what it said about my level of classiness that I was willing to write an entire blog post about pee. And what my Mother would think.)

(And yes, for some crazy reason, I still decided to write it. Because honestly, there’s not too much room for anything else to be on my mind lately.)

(And yes, I realize that this post is written in the frantic fashion of run-on sentences that are used when someone is hopping around on one leg needing to go pee…because that’s how I live these days.)

This PeeDreamReality is ESPECIALLY true when you’re carrying a boy, who, being true to old wives’ tales, decides to hang out down low.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that my Uterus is actually housed inside my bladder. Or my bladder inside my uterus. Or they’re one and the same. Or something.

At least with Ali, it wasn’t until I was about to give birth any second that I would go, start to walk out the bathroom door, then shake my fists at the air with a yell of frustration, and walk back in the bathroom to pee again.

This time, it’s been since the beginning. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been laying on the couch, desperately not wanting to get up for the 10th time in 20 minutes, fantasizing about being catheterized, and wondering how our family was going to survive the 2010 Toilet Paper Budgetary Crisis.

In fact, I think I’ll go ahead and start docking Noah’s future allowance now, to manage to pay for the for the TP AND the water bill.

Gotta go now…literally.


14 thoughts on “Pregnancy: You Know, THAT Dream Come True.

  1. It could be worse. I had a friend who had that dream and DIDN'T wake up. Much to her (and her husband's) chagrin.

  2. I haven't had that dream yet. But just yesterday, my husband complained about the amount of TP that we have been going through.

  3. I had the same problem when I was pregnant. I think that it is a training period to get you use to getting up when the baby gets here. At least that is what I told myself.

  4. I love that I am not the only one to complain about this…but it could be considered sad that I did the math on it.

    For trips to the potty for the purpose of pee only…I guestimate that I spent 7 days of my pregnancy. Yep…168 hours of toilet time.

    I did the math after spending a day at the Galleria and yes, they only have two main public restrooms in the entire mall…so not fair for the preggos.

  5. That is one thing I don't miss about pregnancy! With S I was up almost every single hour at night to go. Such a pain! I still have to go more than normal now. I think having kids messes up all that stuff…down there.

  6. Um…I pee all the time and Mister Baby is so high that he has one foot implanted firmly in each lung. He's not sitting on my bladder but he is definitely playing tetherball with it!

  7. I craved watermelon when I was pregnant. That made it worse. By the end, I couldn't sit normally. I sat like the statues of Buddha that you see (so my mama called me Buddha–that does a lot for th…e ego. . .).

    and it won't let me log in so I'll be anonymous today. . .justanotherday in paradise

  8. At an ultrasound, you could actually see Schyler doing one-two kicks on my bladder. Brandon and the nurses just laughed and laughed…

  9. Am I the only one who's never had any "universal" dreams then? I dreamed I had my own personal moon-gravity, so I could jump really high and far (in slow mo), but that's the closest I've been (and it wasn't a relaxing dream either, I was running from Matilda's parents (..?)). Also never had the one about my teeth falling out, which is supposed to be pretty popular too.

  10. Seriously, I think I'm going through your pregnancy with you – without being pregnant. I think I'm gaining your weight, I've been getting up multiple times during the night to pee…

    What are you doing to me????

  11. You mean you only get up 10 times in 20 minutes? Lucky. But yeah, that whole dreampeeality issue is pretty annoying. It's super annoying when you wake up every hour to pee and each time the dogs get excited and want to go out, too…by the time I get back to sleep I hafta wake up and go again…

  12. This is my first time to visit your blog and I actually like it. I have a knack in searching for blogs related to Tummy Tankz.

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