These days I often feel like I have been totally and completely hijacked.

It’s as if Noah is a miniature computer-programming genius (I picture him looking like a 15-inch-tall Riley from National Treasure) that has broken into my system controls, cracked my password, disabled my alarm system and security cameras, and scrambled all of my central commands.Riley

Things I used to love, I hate.

Things I used to hate, I love.

Things I never did, I do.

Things I always did, I don’t.

My love of Chicken Salad has been solidly replaced with a NEED for Buffalo Sauce.

My usually efficient and energetic self has been replaced with the barely-functioning-nearly-comatose person that I mentioned in my last pregnancy log.

My typically unemotional self has been replaced with someone that might or might not cry with or without reason at any given moment, sending both my husband (who is not used to a crying wife) and my daughter (who, every time upon witnessing me cry, has to recount the one and only time she ever saw me cry prior to my pregnancy) into panicked-tailspins.

And, the snoring.

Pre-Natal-Ali cracked the snoring code also, although it took her a little longer to do it (she’s apparently not QUITE as geeky as Noah – which I find to be a VERY scary thought).

With Ali, by the time I was nine months pregnant, I was reportedly snoring so loudly that Chris had exhausted all of his strategies (including bouncing on the bed in an attempt to partially rouse me) and absolutely couldn’t sleep unless he had complete-100%-sound-blocking-earplugs in.

But here I am, six months pregnant (or claiming to be), and apparently snoring again.

I became aware of this fact the other morning from the following conversation with Chris…

“I think I might be snoring again – I woke myself up last night once or twice.”

“Oh yeah. You are DEFINITELY snoring again.”

“Really? I’m sorry. Is it bad?”

“Not bad enough for earplugs. Yet. ….

(guilty pause)

…but I have been trying to get you to quit snoring by cuddling with you in an attempt to get you to change positions.”

“I noticed you’d been cuddling with me more! But I just thought you were feeling especially endeared to me for carrying your child. I didn’t realize it was SELFISH cuddling.”

“It wasn’t selfish!!! You’re obviously having trouble breathing!! I’m just trying to help you BREATHE so that you can LIVE!!”

“Well I can’t help it if I have YOUR CHILD sleeping on my lungs.”

“Exactly! Your snoring is just a wonderful reminder of the beautiful act of service you’re doing for me by bearing me a son.”

“mmm hmm. Well at least you won’t have to cut off my head for making only girl-children.”

And so, if you’re trying to think of a baby present you can get for Chris, earplugs might be helpful. VERY soon. Because miniature Riley is proving himself to be quite adept at hijacking whatever system he pleases.

Now I’m off to find some more buffalo sauce. I wonder how it’d be on my Cheerios this morning…??

11 thoughts on “Hijacked.

  1. Pregnant or not my favorite dish is Buffalo Chicken Salad – just add a few dashes.
    My husband recently bought a box of the strips that you put across your nose for snoring. I noticed they were size small…hummm.. I didn't say anything but a few days later he noted how he couldn't sleep because of my snoring. I've tried them and he says I'm not snoring anymore.

  2. I snored like nobody's business when I was pregnant. It didn't matter what position I slept in (like you have so many options anyway). Fortunately my husband is a very heavy sleeper, so it didn't bother him. Or so he said. :)

  3. By the end of my pregnancies I had to sleep upright in the recliner just so I could breathe. So I completely understand.

  4. Interesting. I've never heard of snoring as a side effect of preganancy. At least if you are snoring you must be sleeping! Maybe that's why I never snored…I couldn't sleep!

  5. Oh Rachel, I'm to the point that I'm snoring because of ME weight, not baby weight. Does that help you count your blessings? No, I guess it probably just grosses you out.

    Hang in there!

  6. mmmmm….buffalo sauce….I want some, but I don't know if I should since I have a glucose test tomorrow…

    I haven't slept soundly enough to snore in a bit. But Brett does enough snoring for both of us, so it's all good. To get him to stop I just push his shoulder and he rolls over (after giving me a squinty look)

  7. I'm glad you decided to go with 6 months- good choice! Funny you mentioned Cheerios… that's my breakfast every morning these days.

  8. Just b/w you and me, I think Riley is very cute/handsome. So if Noah looks like him, in my opinion, you will be having to keep the girls away with a broom :D

    Oh, and to help with your buffalo cravings, have you tried Buffalo Chicken Dip? This is my husband's favorite dip at the moment.

    We use blue cheese dressing instead of ranch. Personal preference.


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