“You know what the world needs more of today? Rainbows and Unicorns.” These were my thoughts when I opened up Facebook. Two minutes into my feed… “Unicorns. Rainbows. Stat.” Five minutes in… “I NEED A UNICORN CRAPPING A RAINBOW THIS INSTANT.” I opened up my Bitmoji app to try and find the picture of my […]
How Hamilton is Actually a Parenting Self-Help Guide.
Haven’t you always assumed that life would be more fun if it were a musical? Me neither. I never did understand how people could sing their lives in perfect rhythm and rhyme in real time – not to mention in harmony with their fellow life-livers. However. Hamilton has changed my mind. Due to the constant […]
How PokemonGo Will Make Your Momming Better.
As I purposefully shy away from trends and adamantly avoid hopping on bandwagons, I was ripe to avoid PokemonGo completely. But I saw potential. Potential for entertained kids and interesting hikes. I mean, I’m pretty dang good at making hikes interesting. Sometimes we even find abandoned boobs! But despite how AMAZING I am, and despite […]
Short Stories From A Busy Week.
On Saturday, we went on the newish-annual Road Rally. This isn’t new for my family, as my Dad has driven in epic road rallies (like, China-to-Paris epic) and has created many slightly-less-epic road rallies for different groups pretty much our entire life. But last year was the first year he revived the practice to share […]
Minecraft, Soap Opera Mod.
“You know, I bet you and the kids would really love Minecraft, as much as y’all are into Lego.” This sentence, spoken by a very naïve version of myself sometime last year, solely goes to prove that “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is a LIE. Since that […]
On Oldies and Parenthood.
As a kid, I remember my parents singing us the oldies. My mother had goofy taste – her favorite lullabies included She wore an itsy bitsy teeny tiny yellow polka dot bikini and Yellow Submarine and Puff the Magic Dragon. (Not sure what my Mom was doing during the sixties and seventies but really it’s […]
On Parenting The Male Variety.
“That bad smell you’re sniffin’ is my feet.” Because that’s what a little boy tells his sister, who is across the room, when she happens to have the sniffles. He was sitting in my lap, though, so I should know – he wasn’t wrong. His shoes have smelled so dead-rotted-carcass lately that one night I […]
24 Hours with a Five Year Old.
The following happened between the hours of 8:30am December 21 and 8:30am December 22. Monday. 8:30am: I threw clothes at him and told him to get dressed – we had to go to Physical Therapy. After a few mandatory whines about the unfairness of having to wear clothing, he disappeared into the bathroom. The next […]
Properly Training Your Child to Curse.
Somewhere between last week and this week, Noah learned the word “dammit.” I really don’t think it was from me because I keep my dammits mental, under my breath, and only out loud when I’m alone without my children. Because I’m a hypocrite like that. But who knows. It could be my fault. Maybe he’s […]
The Great Questioning.
Ninety-three percent of the relationship between a mother and her children is comprised of answering questions. The same questions. Over and over and over. They never tell you that in the parenting books. Or at the hospital. “This is how you change a diaper…and here’s how you get them to latch on…and you need to […]