I know that many of you Mommies out there – Mommies that are clearly better, more loving, more devoted Mommies than I – cease and desist the ingestion of all caffeine the minute you find out you’re pregnant, and with miraculous levels of self-control, don’t resume until you finish nursing. I salute you. I, however, […]
Everything I Learned from Flying (and the Beach) With Two Children.
1. Don’t pack any more than you can carry, by yourself, while holding your baby, because your husband will need to be gone for approximately two eternities while signing paperwork for the rental car. 2. Point number one is completely impossible. Therefore, bring a friend. Two kids versus two parents in an airport is outnumbered, […]
United Baby Union: Rule Number One.
Never let go of the Food. EVER. …And this is why there will never be a decent photo of Noah and I together. Ever.
Mysteries of the Deep.
Hi! Noah here. So last weekend, The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy and that guy she hangs around all the time took me to this weird new place. And let me just say – it didn’t taste so hot. It was kind of like the big bathtub I told you about last time, but even […]
A Look Back: 6 Months Later.
Noah is six months old today. Half a year.. goes by so much more quickly the second time around. Despite my fears of having another baby, Noah has been a complete delight and pleasure. He’s the happiest, most joyful, smiliest baby I’ve ever encountered. His charm and constant laughter keep me falling in love with […]
Mission: First Car Trip.
The Villain: A normally delightfully happy baby… …who has a severe disdain for all things vehicular. The Victims: The innocent parental units and The Sibling, who unfortunately is in the nearest proximity to the villain. Luckily, however, The Sibling has superpower capabilities, making her impervious to the agonizing screams of protest. The Mission: Beach. […]
Gourmet Baby: Yes, I Did Make a Breastmilk Smoothie.
After Noah’s obvious frozen yogurt love last weekend, Chris had an epiphany: I should make Noah his own FroYo, Baby-Kosher-Style. Baby-Kosher-Style = made with frozen breastmilk. Don’t worry – I’m not about to get all crazy. My byproducts will not be made into breastmilk cheese or anything curdish like that, but the thought of making […]
How to Act When They Have a Baby.
You know how some people contract an illness of ridiculous speech when you’re pregnant? Regarding that disease, I have grave medical news: that craziness doesn’t always fade after you deliver your baby. In fact, in some cases, it can grow worse throughout your baby’s infanthood. I experienced someone with a most serious case of the […]
Because I Like to Be Helpful: Baby Feeding Tips.
* One should be very structured in introducing babies to solid foods. Do not introduce them to too many different flavors at once, and keep the variety of foods to safe, bland choices. ** Rice cereals should be offered first (unless your particular doctor says they’re now poisonous…much debate is currently in action over the […]
Making Little Old Ladies Happy Cry Since 2011.
Noah and I have a dirty little secret. He is ticklish EVERYWHERE. Especially if I am touching him – I know all of his hot spots. I can’t even change his clothes without him giggling until he gets the hiccups. (My offspring all have a weird genetic mutation that makes them get the hiccups every […]