Ali had her Cubbies awards program two weeks ago. (By the way – did you know it takes approximately fourteen days to transform a traumatic memory into a funny one? Well now you do.) The idea was to get 25 preschoolers to stand in front of a room full of their parents and cooperatedly say […]
Daily Exercise Log: Mommy.
3am: Jumping out of bed from dead sleep to go comfort crying baby: 10 calories burned. 3:05am: Jumping out of bed again to give crying baby a paci, praying feverishly that it sticks this time while imagining inventing elastic ear loops to hold the stinkin’ paci in: 10 calories burned. 4am: Jumping out of bed […]
Gateway Cursing.
Everybody remembers their first curse word, right? I remember mine. I was probably about six years old… We were headed out to our cousin’s house. They lived in the country, with miles of trails to explore. We arrived at their house, and I saw their bikes and my brother’s bike (which he had left there […]
My (Three Day) Life as a Minivanning Mommy.
Due to obvious reasons, I began my Grand Minivan Challenge two days late. On Friday, I packed up the two kids and headed to pick up our borrowed ride from Serra Honda. Ali wasn’t quite understanding the concept of a car store, so I got grilled all the way there… “So how are we going […]
Lessons Learned: Easter With Kids.
1. If one allows one’s four year old to pick out her own Easter dress, one may end up with an insanely manic mixture of tulle, glitter, ribbons, bows, flowers, and polka dots. In fact, it was The Ultimate Anti-Smock. (Sorry, Mom.) 2. If one aspires to photograph four cousins four years old and under, […]
Everything I Know About Photography.
If one desires to learn how to use their camerain a more proper manner, one must first bribe their subjects. For instance, suggest a fun morning of chalking up the sidewalk, with the slight caveat that the child must, every now and then, look up for a photograph with a marginally happy look on their […]
Parenting 101: Little Ears have Big Memories.
With an innocent, offhanded little voice, she asked… “Hey, Daddy?” “Yes Baby?” “Why does Mommy say that it’s not nice for Noah to stare at women’s chests?” Chris falls on the floor and dies. Later that night, after his miraculous recovery,he remembers the cursed conversation with his daughter (although he blocked out his stuttered response […]
Her Gymnastics Career Was Like a Candle in the Wind…
We’re nearing the end of our second season of Gymnastics. Despite a rocky start, she used to love everything about it… The friends… The fashion (of course)… And even swinging on the bar for fascinatingly long periods of time with her freakishly mannish upper body strength. But something happened one day. A former coach surprised […]
The Continuum of Match.
There’s a distinct continuum of parenting philosophies regarding the matching of their offspring. All levels are equally valid, but the decision is intensely personal. Level 5 Matchers: These parents believe that complete matching is synonymous with holiness. They not only match ALL of their children, both male and female, all the way down to their […]
A Wedding Story.
I’m back! I had a very nice few days off (aside from yet another attack by the tooth army that lives in my mouth – I swear they’re out to destroy me), but WOW you missed a lot – quite the significant event happened while I was on break!! So it’s time to catch you […]