These are Noah’s new “drinking glasses.” Hopefully this isn’t his idea of preparing for college. Ali and Noah were discussing the pros and cons of their various babysitters with my friend Kelly. Noah explained that they have a system of points. Ali insisted the point system is based on a ten point scale, but Noah […]
On Finding Swagger.
I cannot communicate in barber language. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to style Noah’s hair differently for pretty much his whole life. His hair refuses to do anything except exactly what it does. Which is to hang. In a straight line. No part. No body. No nothing. I’ve felt as if he […]
Revisiting The Black Spot
The Year was 2013. I was experiencing, for the first time in my life, the harrowing realities of having a two and a half year old male creature. He was fantastically adorable. Which did not make up for the fact that he was two and a half and therefore made me fear for his life […]
It’s Hard Work Being His Favorite.
“Mommy, You’re the Best.” “Hey Mommy………..I love you.” I hear each of those phrases at least forty-eight times a day. Noah likes me. A lot. And by a lot I mean he really prefers to be with me at all moments. It’s utterly precious until it’s not. All the honest Moms out there say […]
For my Wistful Future Self.
A few weeks ago, I shared this video on Instagram. This is Noah’s current favorite phrase to me, thanks much to Farkle from “Girl Meets World.” When your five year old watches every episode of Girl Meets World 20 times with his nine year old sister…and he picks Farkle as his role model. It works […]
On Parenting The Male Variety.
“That bad smell you’re sniffin’ is my feet.” Because that’s what a little boy tells his sister, who is across the room, when she happens to have the sniffles. He was sitting in my lap, though, so I should know – he wasn’t wrong. His shoes have smelled so dead-rotted-carcass lately that one night I […]
Just Because It’s Friday…
“Hey Mommy. Is my butt still clean?” “You mean your bottom? Clean from what?” “My bath last night.” “I mean, probably…why?” “Well, I’ve touched it twice today with my hand and haven’t washed it.” (Holding up a finger.) “You touched your bottom with that finger?” “Oh no I touched my butt with my whole hand. […]
24 Hours with a Five Year Old.
The following happened between the hours of 8:30am December 21 and 8:30am December 22. Monday. 8:30am: I threw clothes at him and told him to get dressed – we had to go to Physical Therapy. After a few mandatory whines about the unfairness of having to wear clothing, he disappeared into the bathroom. The next […]
The 10 Stages of Schooling Double the Students.
Noah is now four years old. Last year, I sent him to 3K at a preschool – for many reasons. It was quite lovely. This year, he is doing 4K at home – for many reasons. It will be lovely. Dear God please let it be lovely. We’re four weeks in, but that first week […]
How Spiderman Wasn’t Made.
Once upon a time, a spider got trapped in my son’s underpants and attempted to eat his way out. Once upon a time was last week. I woke up Friday morning to a text and two emails from my husband, who, despite happening upon a middle-of-the-night crisis, feels strongly that all crises are best handled […]