The 10 Stages of Schooling Double the Students.

Noah is now four years old.

Last year, I sent him to 3K at a preschool – for many reasons.

It was quite lovely.

This year, he is doing 4K at home – for many reasons. It will be lovely.

Dear God please let it be lovely.

We’re four weeks in, but that first week had a massive rollercoaster of emotions – for all involved. Herein lies the steps that a mother goes through when transitioning between homeschooling one very studious child and homeschooling two children, one of which is…not so studious.

1. Anticipation: The glee and excitement of First Day of School pictures. Because two students makes this opportunity so much more adorable!

Noah. Smile like a normal human. Ali. Look at me, not your alien-smile brother.

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Hold your sign down. I can’t see your smile.

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Thank you. Now smile.

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Not bad. Hold your sign a little higher please.

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I said a LITTLE.

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Put your head down. Hold your sign up.

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Okay fine. Good enough.

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(Drops the Mic)

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2. Excitement Building: The presentation, and following thrill, of the rewards sheet.

You, dear child, will get to earn REWARDS with your AWESOME school achievements!!

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3. Realization: The adorable promise of a student doing their first assignment: this year is going to rock.

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4. Darker Realization: the older child is going to have trouble paying attention when I’m talking to the younger child. How do teachers teach more than one child at a time? This seems completely impractical.

5. Shock: SECONDBORNS ARE SO MUCH LESS DEVOTED STUDENTS THAN FIRSTBORNS.

6. Baffledness: What does one do when the four-year-old realizes that he has the power within him to simply…not do school?

“Yeah, I’m not doing school today, Mom. It’s really just not fun.”

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A dark power indeed.

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7. Strategy Shift: FaceTime with Principal Daddy.

8. The Abomination of Convenient Memory.

“But I forgot how to do that.”

“You KNOW EXACTLY how to do this, son.”

“I weewy weewy forgot!”

9. Justification:

“Eh, 4K isn’t that important. Right? He’ll be able to get a job…somewhere…without 4K.”

10. This Feeling. For Everyone.

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We’re working on strategies to make school more fun and palatable for everyone. Educational iPad games are a big part of that, as they were for Ali at the age of four. He will live. As will I. Dear God please let me live through 4K.