Rachel Callahan

Her Preposterous Luck is Spreading.

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories Football and I have a Complicated Relationship, Toddlers: The Experience

So you remember that Ali won $50 on a football squares game, despite the fact that I’ve never won in the decade that I’ve done Alabama Football with Chris, right?

Well, she won again tonight.

AND it was double the money. $100.

AND her Daddy won the final, another $100.

They swept the board.

So besides the fact that Chris was SO excited about the end of the game that he went out on the back porch and howled as if at the moon, which consequently got our neighbors quite worried (I’m sure), he and Ali won the whole pot.

I had to blog about this today so that I didn’t have to post it on a Sunday. That just seems so wrong.

Maybe next time her luck will rub off on me.

And no, none of you can borrow my baby and take her to Vegas. She’s just lucky, not Rain Man. She counts to three, not cards.

Studying the board:
Glee at discovering that she AND Daddy won!!
Now the question is, what to do with a toddler’s SECOND and twice as large gambling winnings?

A Few Stories from the Weekend.

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories A Day in the Life, I would NEVER take too many pictures. . ., The Blissfulness of Life

Thursday night was the first night where we had ALL twelve of our kids there at once. We now have even odds: 12 kids, 12 adults. It was quite crazy! AND number 13 is on the way next year! (No, not me. AJ is going to be a big sister!)

Kendall hanging out with her new American buddies at small group on Thursday. The four in the chair are all within 6 months of each other and are destined to be best buds foreverever.Kendall kept trying to support herself on Ali, and Ali would help her for a minute, then scowl at her as if to say, “Walk by yourself!!”
Ali grabbed Deidre’s camera and was mesmerized. Maybe soon she can take over as the resident family photographer and give me a break!!
Ring around the Rosy with Nathaniel. Or, as Ali excitedly calls it, “ROSIES!!!”
Dinner Friday night. Ali ate ALL of her Broccoli – which was quite a bit – and some of mine. And then made herself giggle all night with her broccoli toots.
Daddy and Ali driving the Hot Dog truck – Ali’s favorite mall attraction.
Gina, you’ll be happy to know that we took your advice and got Ali green playdough, plus a few more colors to counteract any other needs for colored triangles.
Oh, and since I was bad-mouthing my artistic (or lack-thereof) abilities yesterday, I thought I’d show you my impressive smiley face (Ali DOES love smiley faces these days):
Yup, a bow and everything! Unfortunately, it didn’t impress Ali. I asked her if she thought it was pretty, and she said “Uh uh!! All done smiley face!!” :( I told you it wouldn’t be long until she passed my artistic abilities.
We had a weekend of festivals – on Friday, Ali and I went to Christmas Village with Ashley and AJ. Can you say CROWDED and HUGE! But it was fun. Then this morning, we went to Homestead Hollow with Daddy.

We rolled into Springville and were greeted with this:
With so much going on, how to choose where to go? Springville may be a little town, but they are a bustling one!

Ali LOVED the Bluegrass band. And they loved her attentiveness and dancing skills.
Ali really wanted to ride the Ponies, but she kept saying “Ride Ponies! Mommy ride with you!!”
I knew she wouldn’t ride without me on it, and I knew the Pony People wouldn’t appreciate me riding with her, considering the Ponies came up to my waist. But we did pet one of the Horsies instead.
We had wonderful festival food. Chris had the Jalapeno Poppers, and Ali and I had one of our favorite foods:
Yes, Ali really enjoys a good Corn on the Cob.
And Chris had the camera, so I am not surprised at all that he got a picture of this sign:
. . .and so he has been referring to Ali’s diapers as “Thunder-bags” ever since.

She Thinks I’m Superwoman.

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories Toddlers: The Experience, Utter Silliness


Be sure and check out A Dose of Humor, my column at 5 Minutes for Parenting! It’s a funny one this week (and one that I can relate to!!), from Amy at Flexible Dreams.

Ali got her first jar of Play-Dough last week at the camping trip in her “Prize Pack”.
She is amazed at how artistic I am. Yes, I can make a heart, a triangle, OR a ball out of her play-dough. I EVEN made a happy face.

It’s great to have someone lower than my artistic level that I can impress.

Because once she hits two, she has a good chance of surpassing me.

Anyway, she thought that I was magic. I could turn it into anything.
So she said, “Make Green Triangle!”

I explained that I could make anything she wanted out of pink, but that the Play-Dough was pink and I couldn’t change it’s frequency of light refraction to appear green.

She nodded and said “OK Mommy. Pink Triangle.”

So I made a VERY impressive pink triangle. I handed it to her, and you would have thought I had given her diamonds. She was thrilled, and I got a very enthusiastic “THANK YOU MOMMY!!!”
Her excitement lasted for about 30 seconds, and then she looked at me very matter of factly, handed it back to me, and said “Now make it green.”

Super-Glue Phlegm

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel, Just My Luck, Weird Strange and True

If the title grosses you out, Please just go ahead and stop reading. Find another post to read. I have plenty that aren’t gross at all – such as Toenail Art!

Now, for the brave readers. . .(after all, many of you have said recently how you like me being real!)

I have had phlegm in the back of my throat for weeks now. I haven’t had a cold in ages, nor do I have sinus problems. My nose isn’t running, my throat doesn’t hurt. I’ve tried medicine. I just have a completely inexplicable lump back there that’s driving me CRAZY.

I finally got to the point of desperation last night as it seems to have gotten worse, and it is to the point where it is continuously irritating. It’s right between my nose and throat, so there’s no way to get it out (and believe me, I have tried).

So I tried a technique that I swore I would never do again – it’s what my Mom used to do to me when I was little and I absolutely despise it – warm salt water down the nose.

Yuck.

It always worked when I was a kid, but the sensation was so horrible that I would rather be sick than allow her to torture me in this way. I hated it so much that my parents bought me a neti pot as a gag gift a few years ago. I might have even opened it and used it last night, but I think I permanently got rid of it a while back.

Or maybe I took it to a Dirty Santa party.

So I enlisted Chris’ help, and he trickled warm salt water down my nose, which consequently went into my sinuses and out of my mouth. Let me tell you there is nothing worse.

I did everything I could, made gagging noises that caused Chris to have to leave the room, and even continued my salt water treatments on my own.

AND it didn’t help. It temporarily helped, but today it was all back again, and this time compounded due to a raw throat from the salt water.

Getting more desperate by the minute, I bought an $11 bottle of super-duper “Powerful Mucus-Moving Sensation” Nasal Spray at Target. Another thing I hate. I used it right before Ali and I went into work for a minute, and let me say: DON’T use Powerful Mucus-Moving nose spray without being very close by a box of kleenex. Or two or three.

I don’t know where it all came from, but my nose became a veritable fountain.

But guess what didn’t come out.

Yeah. The Phlegm.

Rabbit Trail: Ali had a cold about a week ago (AFTER my phlegm problem started), and her nose is still stuffy from it. She’s been frustrated about it today also. At work, her greeting to everyone, instead of her usual “HEY Bonnie!! HEY Leslie!” was to tap on her nose and say “Nose Both-ring me.”

Back to mine. Whatever it’s made out of, it sticks like glue. Maybe there’s a ladybug stuck back there.

At any rate, I’m willing to try anything. Any ideas? I suppose I could try all of the other miraculous cure-all’s since the Neti Pot didn’t work. How about Kinoki Foot Pads? Or Ear Candles? Or for that matter, Mannatech or Mona Vie?

 

 

Thankful Thursday

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday is a weekly column where I post what I am thankful about that week, and you have the opportunity (via your blog linked into this post OR via comments) to share your thankful thought for the week.

My Thankful Thursday thought today is somewhat shallow, but I’m thankful anyway! I am so thankful that I finally found the time and motivation to finish my second blook! I started it months ago and it’s been weighing heavily on me, but I just haven’t had the time to finish it. I’ll order it later today, and will show you pictures of it in a couple of weeks when it comes in!! And for all of you bloggers out there who document your family life via your blog, you really should check into making a blook – it’s the world’s best scrapbook if you don’t want to having to cut tiny pieces of paper with fancy scissors!

And also, reason #377 that I am glad that Ali is the age that she is: She is going through a wonderful “thankful” phase herself. Everytime I hand her something, I get a very happy, singsongy “Thank you, Mommy!!” It’s sooo lovely! Now if she’d just get the hang of asking for things in her happy voice the first time she asks for them rather than demanding them. But we’re working on it, and making progress! And for that, I can be thankful!

OK – your turn!! What are you thankful for today? Leave it in a comment, or if you have a blog, write a post on your blog and link it in with Mr. Linky (at the bottom of this post), and you can have the pleasure of welcoming my wonderful readers to your site!

To use Mr. Linky to link to your blog, just type in your name in the first slot, then copy and paste the URL of your blog post in the second one and click “Enter” – then there will be a link to your post from my blog! ***be sure to put the link to your actual “Thankful Thursday” post – not just your main blog URL.***

I Hate Honking.

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel, Just My Luck

I sincerely hate honking. I refuse to do it, with one exception: if honking is necessary to stop someone from running into me. The only problem is that since that is the only time I use my horn, I usually can’t even find it quickly enough to prevent a problem. THAT’S how rarely I honk.

It’s just a mega pet peeve.

It just feels like an outpouring of temper. Anger. And I don’t like anger. I ESPECIALLY don’t like punitive honking – you know, when the event is already over, but a person honks anyway to show their aggravation. THAT is certainly unnecessary and rude.

Traffic Light Honking (i.e. when the first person in line isn’t looking and the light turns green) is okay, but only after waiting a LONG time, and then only a slight tap. I actually can’t even stomach doing this. I usually wait until the light is turning yellow again, and then MAYBE I’ll give them a small tweet of the horn. After all, I have been tending to a baby in the backseat and missed a light before – maybe that’s what they are doing.

When someone honks at me, it puts me in a sad, bad mood for a few minutes. I feel like I’ve just been chewed out by a complete stranger, usually for something that wasn’t my fault (at least I like to think so).

Ali and I went to the grocery store yesterday right at 5pm-grocery-store-rush-hour, and so the parking lot was crazy. I am especially cautious in parking lots due to my recent parking-lot “issues”. As I was turning into the parking lot, someone in that row was pulling out of a parking space. I didn’t want to risk going past them before they got out and on their way, so I waited for a minute and let them go first. I was well out of the road, but the person behind me didn’t want to wait. He laid on his horn for a few seconds.

I parked, and Mr. Rude Honker parked across the aisle from me. As I was getting Ali out of the car, I looked out of the corner of my eye to behold this rude person. I suppose it could have been perceived as a glare if one already had a guilty conscience about their rudity (I like the feel of rudity better than rudeness. It seems to more fully communicate the utter barbaric scurrilousness of honking).

It was a very young guy in a snappy business suit. Younger than me. Seeing that I was looking at him, he yelled out to me, “Sorry, but you were just sitting there.”

Awkward.

I didn’t really want to have a conversation with him, but felt that I needed to respond, so instead of saying, “Do you know how barbarically scurrilous you are?!?!”, I said: “Jesus loves you and so do I!”. Ok, no I didn’t say that either. I said: “Well I had to wait for someone to move out of the aisle before I could go.”

He must have been coming for just one item, because by the time Ali and I got into the store, he was already in line checking out. I tried to avert my gaze, but of course he was looking at me.

Awkward.

I hate honking. If you’re a honker, sorry. I don’t hate you, I hate your actions.

Wordless Wednesday – Snapshots into a Toddler’s Mind

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories Wordless Wednesday - as IF I could be wordless.

Ali will be 22 months old at the end of this week, so here are some snapshots of what goes on in a 22 month old’s mind:

Ali’s still confused about spatial issues. She was playing with Bonnie’s schoolbus at work on Monday, and kept insisting that she wanted to “sit chair”, pointing to a specific schoolbus bench
seat that she wanted to sit on. Here are her attempts:
Let’s just call it a good imagination.

She is more into black and white, objective things, just like Mommy. I had to roll some coins the other day, so I gave her some coins and wrappers to “help” me. I explained about which wrapper went with which coin, how dimes were worth “10 pennies” and nickels were worth “5 pennies”, etc. She loved it. Granted, I had to dislodge pennies out of the dimes wrapper several times, but she definitely has some accounting chops.
And the final snapshot: I was trying to distract Ali for a few minutes while I finished something up on the computer, and I suggested that she write an “A” in her little notebook. She went busily to work, and a few seconds later, showed me her work:
This HAS to be coincidence. . . right?

Check out my other WW post at B-Sides.
Check out everyone else’s at 5 Minutes for Mom!

A Day With No Camera

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories A Day in the Life, Utter Silliness

As soon as I pulled out of the driveway this morning, I remembered that my camera was sitting on my desk, and not in my purse, where it must stay so that I may be prepared for any blog-op that comes my way. You ask, how much can you miss by not having a camera for a few hours? Well, here’s what you missed due to my lack of camera:

1. Ali and I went to vote, then headed to bible study. We’re on the interstate (ok, I guess this picture would have been unsafe to take anyway. Maybe that’s why God made sure that I left my camera at home), and Ali says from the backseat, “Mommy Help You!!!” (again with the pronoun issues).

I ask, “Help you with what, baby?”.
“Help You Sticker!!”

I look back, and she has stuck her “I Voted” sticker right in the middle of her bangs. And a VERY confused and distraught look on her face. Total photo op.

I pull it out as gently as I possibly can while driving 75 mph 70 mph down I-459. I hand it to her. A few minutes later, I hear her exclaim, “Oreo’s hair on sticker!!”. I explained to her that although loose hair IS usually Oreo’s, that was ALI’S hair.

2. This is the hard one to describe without a picture. We ate with the fam at Bluff Park Diner after Bible Study. While we were waiting for them to get there, a “cowboy” walked in – a 70-something year old man with a plaid shirt, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat. But what I loved the most was his solution to the Fanny Pack. He had a cut-out back pocket from a pair of Levi’s jeans, including the belt loops from above it, laced into his belt like a holster. He had his checkbook and wallet in that pocket rather than in the pocket on his actual jeans. It was priceless. I tried to take a picture of it with my cell phone camera, but since I have a new phone and I haven’t used it enough, I wasn’t quick enough. So sorry.

3. And here’s one picture I did manage to snap with my cell phone:
She really likes the winter collection. I think better than she liked the Summer Catalog. She kept saying, “Red mouf!! Pink mouf!!” and “Green Eyes! Red Eyes!”. I was a bit worried about whichever makeup model had red eyes.

Our Annual Visitors

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories I Love Birmingham, Just My Luck, Quirky quirky quirkiness, Weird Strange and True

To the Ladybug in Charge of Winter Home Assignment; Birmingham Embassy of Ladybugs:

First of all, let me compliment your organization skills. To be able to organize 44 ladybugs to all show up in one place at the same time is quite impressive. It reminds me of the flash mob craze, except without the internet to organize it.

Also, to have this happen within 10 days of the exact date we were swarmed last year shows that your timing is impeccable. Especially since I happen to know that these are certainly not the same ladybugs that came last year. You are quite the impressive administrator.

I am writing today to make a simple request in your assignment decision. I am not opposed to ladybugs, and although I would prefer not to be swarmed with them every year, I can handle that. I just request that you please pick a different room in our house other than Ali’s bedroom.

This will benefit you also – because you see, had you not chosen her room to swarm last year, she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to eat one of your honored members.

I know that there are much worse bug infestation options, and I would definitely choose ladybugs over all other bugs to swarm my house, so I do hope you don’t take offense to my request. It’s just. . . a baby’s room is not the place to camp out for the winter!

If you are insistent on continuing to come to her room, I would appreciate it if you could be so kind in letting me know how you’re getting in, so that I can make a more “welcoming” entrance for you (don’t pay any attention to my fingers crossed behind my back).

Sincerely,
The owner of the Birmingham Ladybug Winter Lodge.

p.s. – I am sure that you are demanding answers to the drowning of 24 ladybugs this morning and 20 more ladybugs before naptime that occurred in an Aquafina water bottle. I am so sorry for your tragedy and my thoughts and condolences go out to the whole Ladybug community. I will let you know if I identify any suspects in this dreadful crime. This may just not be a very safe neighborhood for ladybugs.

"Camping" the Easy Way.

Posted on Posted by Rachel Callahan Categories A Day in the Life, I would NEVER take too many pictures. . ., The Blissfulness of Life

If you haven’t entered yet, be sure to visit my Reader Appreciation Giveaway!!!

I know, I know. . . It’s been over 48 hours since my last post. What’s that noise? Gasps and Shrieks? Don’t worry – we’re fine! No sleepwalking injuries or (no-longer-in-existence) gallbladder attacks.

We were at an annual camping trip – one on which I’ve been going since I was about 6 or 7 years old. It has changed participators quite a bit over the years, but basically consists of a bunch of homeschool families (and alumni, in my case) who get together and have an awesome time with gobs of events planned for the kids; such as treasure hunts, obstacle courses, and midnight teen games.

For the record, Chris, Ali and I didn’t actually “camp” this year – we roughed it at the conference center, while enjoying all of the ambiance of camping. I think it’s going to be a hard sell to ever pack and set up the tent again. At any rate, here are pictures (and stories) from our “camping” trip.

Mom and Ali watching what Ali thought were bubbles, and so they became known as “fire bubbles”:
However, in the long run, Ali was much more entertained by picking up rocks than watching the campfire and its bubbles.Chris and I were responsible for writing the clues for the treasure hunt for the 10-12 year olds. Our first clue? “The Secret Lies with Hobie”:
The campground was on Lake Guntersville. The water was quite beautiful, and I am always intrigued at looking at the lake bed. . .
I’ve never seen another lake in which the bottom looks like this: In Ali’s treasure pack, she got an airplane. She had MUCH fun with it:A few evil masterminds came up with a spin on dodgeball. . .
Using water balloons and flour balloons. Don’t forget – it WAS cold outside.
Although the kids used every kind of shield imaginable, including baseball gloves, trash can lids, and even a 12 foot table. . .
When you have people slam dunking like this:
There are bound to be quite a few casualties.
I think the quote of the game came from Ruth (above) who said, “I’m going to take a shower. I feel like sticky raw cookie dough.”

Chris and I, of course, managed to keep Ali far, far away from the crossfire.
Becky found a butterfly to show Ali:And after much inspection by Ali and Nathaniel,
I am pretty sure that the butterfly was “inspected” to death.

At dinner, Ali very much wanted to be like Eli and put her hood on.
Paul was back from the Air Force Academy and took some time out to teach his Mom all of the “moves” he’s been learning in Colorado Springs:
Ali spent a lot of time riding in “Pop’s Old Car” this weekend. At first, any time he would ask if she wanted to ride, she would come get me and say “Mommy come with you” (yes, she has a bit of trouble with pronouns)
But she finally conquered her fear enough to ride by herself!
Pop and Ali riding into the sunset:Chris, Ali and I decided to take a hike. Although we had second thoughts when we saw the bible verse associated with the trail:
But we went ahead anyway.
Then, 10 feet later we were greeted with another warning:
But we didn’t let that stop us from hiking.
We got to see beautiful views of the lake:
And the surrounding mountains:
And it must be an innate thing that kids like walking sticks on a hike, because we certainly have never had one on a walk with Ali, but she sure was excited when she found this:
A long way into our hike when we were trying to find the loop back to the campground, we came upon this trail, and it sounded much more promising than our last trail:
But then 20 feet later, we were greeted with this sad state of affairs:
Once you go to the New Earth, there’s no going back. So we decided against it, and stayed on our perilous trail.

While Daddy was getting our gear packed up, Ali had a last bit of fun with Becky:
Their dodgeball game was much safer than the flour/water dodgeball.
So that was our trip in a blogshell! It was a very fun trip, and it was exciting that Ali was old enough to really interact with the other kids.

Now I’m going to kick my feet up and relax! I’m not sure how it always works that I’m exhausted after a relaxing weekend, but I am!