Super-Glue Phlegm

If the title grosses you out, Please just go ahead and stop reading. Find another post to read. I have plenty that aren’t gross at all – such as Toenail Art!

Now, for the brave readers. . .(after all, many of you have said recently how you like me being real!)

I have had phlegm in the back of my throat for weeks now. I haven’t had a cold in ages, nor do I have sinus problems. My nose isn’t running, my throat doesn’t hurt. I’ve tried medicine. I just have a completely inexplicable lump back there that’s driving me CRAZY.

I finally got to the point of desperation last night as it seems to have gotten worse, and it is to the point where it is continuously irritating. It’s right between my nose and throat, so there’s no way to get it out (and believe me, I have tried).

So I tried a technique that I swore I would never do again – it’s what my Mom used to do to me when I was little and I absolutely despise it – warm salt water down the nose.

Yuck.

It always worked when I was a kid, but the sensation was so horrible that I would rather be sick than allow her to torture me in this way. I hated it so much that my parents bought me a neti pot as a gag gift a few years ago. I might have even opened it and used it last night, but I think I permanently got rid of it a while back.

Or maybe I took it to a Dirty Santa party.

So I enlisted Chris’ help, and he trickled warm salt water down my nose, which consequently went into my sinuses and out of my mouth. Let me tell you there is nothing worse.

I did everything I could, made gagging noises that caused Chris to have to leave the room, and even continued my salt water treatments on my own.

AND it didn’t help. It temporarily helped, but today it was all back again, and this time compounded due to a raw throat from the salt water.

Getting more desperate by the minute, I bought an $11 bottle of super-duper “Powerful Mucus-Moving Sensation” Nasal Spray at Target. Another thing I hate. I used it right before Ali and I went into work for a minute, and let me say: DON’T use Powerful Mucus-Moving nose spray without being very close by a box of kleenex. Or two or three.

I don’t know where it all came from, but my nose became a veritable fountain.

But guess what didn’t come out.

Yeah. The Phlegm.

Rabbit Trail: Ali had a cold about a week ago (AFTER my phlegm problem started), and her nose is still stuffy from it. She’s been frustrated about it today also. At work, her greeting to everyone, instead of her usual “HEY Bonnie!! HEY Leslie!” was to tap on her nose and say “Nose Both-ring me.”

Back to mine. Whatever it’s made out of, it sticks like glue. Maybe there’s a ladybug stuck back there.

At any rate, I’m willing to try anything. Any ideas? I suppose I could try all of the other miraculous cure-all’s since the Neti Pot didn’t work. How about Kinoki Foot Pads? Or Ear Candles? Or for that matter, Mannatech or Mona Vie?