I Hate Honking.

I sincerely hate honking. I refuse to do it, with one exception: if honking is necessary to stop someone from running into me. The only problem is that since that is the only time I use my horn, I usually can’t even find it quickly enough to prevent a problem. THAT’S how rarely I honk.

It’s just a mega pet peeve.

It just feels like an outpouring of temper. Anger. And I don’t like anger. I ESPECIALLY don’t like punitive honking – you know, when the event is already over, but a person honks anyway to show their aggravation. THAT is certainly unnecessary and rude.

Traffic Light Honking (i.e. when the first person in line isn’t looking and the light turns green) is okay, but only after waiting a LONG time, and then only a slight tap. I actually can’t even stomach doing this. I usually wait until the light is turning yellow again, and then MAYBE I’ll give them a small tweet of the horn. After all, I have been tending to a baby in the backseat and missed a light before – maybe that’s what they are doing.

When someone honks at me, it puts me in a sad, bad mood for a few minutes. I feel like I’ve just been chewed out by a complete stranger, usually for something that wasn’t my fault (at least I like to think so).

Ali and I went to the grocery store yesterday right at 5pm-grocery-store-rush-hour, and so the parking lot was crazy. I am especially cautious in parking lots due to my recent parking-lot “issues”. As I was turning into the parking lot, someone in that row was pulling out of a parking space. I didn’t want to risk going past them before they got out and on their way, so I waited for a minute and let them go first. I was well out of the road, but the person behind me didn’t want to wait. He laid on his horn for a few seconds.

I parked, and Mr. Rude Honker parked across the aisle from me. As I was getting Ali out of the car, I looked out of the corner of my eye to behold this rude person. I suppose it could have been perceived as a glare if one already had a guilty conscience about their rudity (I like the feel of rudity better than rudeness. It seems to more fully communicate the utter barbaric scurrilousness of honking).

It was a very young guy in a snappy business suit. Younger than me. Seeing that I was looking at him, he yelled out to me, “Sorry, but you were just sitting there.”

Awkward.

I didn’t really want to have a conversation with him, but felt that I needed to respond, so instead of saying, “Do you know how barbarically scurrilous you are?!?!”, I said: “Jesus loves you and so do I!”. Ok, no I didn’t say that either. I said: “Well I had to wait for someone to move out of the aisle before I could go.”

He must have been coming for just one item, because by the time Ali and I got into the store, he was already in line checking out. I tried to avert my gaze, but of course he was looking at me.

Awkward.

I hate honking. If you’re a honker, sorry. I don’t hate you, I hate your actions.