For those of you who do not currently have a small child, you may be completely and blissfully unaware of what I’m about to tell you. But you deserve to know. A disturbing replacement has happened in vocabulary as we know it. A brainwashing, actually, has taken place. The term “Indian-Style”, in regards to the […]
An Ode to Waistbands.
Dear Regular, Wonderful, Adored-With-All-My-Being Jeans, You have served me well – much longer than I thought you would possibly be able to. Somehow, with your certainly-miraculous stretchiness and the help of many tortured waistline-expanding rubber bands (most who lost their lives in the line of duty), I have been able to enjoy your comfort up […]
ATTENTION ALABAMA FANS!!
HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED??? EXTREMELY RECENT STUDIES HAVE PROVEN THAT SUCCESSFUL ALABAMA FOOTBALL, WHEN TAKEN IN VERY LARGE AMOUNTS IN CONJUNCTION WITH AN INEVITABLE BITTER LOSS (with its corollary implications that could deny Alabama a chance to repeat based on their 1-loss and their weak nonconference schedule, weak already with the mighty Georgia State Panthers […]
29. And Prepared to Prove it.
So. Today is my last day of being 28 years old. Typically, I’m such a big fan of birthdays (particularly my own) and the personalized attention that comes with them, that I don’t mind at all the thought of becoming a year older. But there’s just something distasteful about the thought of 29. After all, […]
Top 10 Reasons Your iPhone Might Divorce You.
Having been an iPhone owner for a few months now (admittedly I am an iLateBloomer), I may have become a little more than addicted to it’s convenience, super-hero abilities to do anything I want it to do, and capability to amuse me in any second in which I might find myself becoming bored. I (very […]
A Plea for HoundsTurf.
Yesterday was a very emotionally fragile day at our house. And not because of the three year old that lives here, OR because of the pregnant woman. Luckily, Ali and I were invited to attend AJ’s Princess Dance Birthday Party during the most tumultuous part of the day…Because no little girl needs to see her […]
The Three Little Pigs: A Modern-Day Adaptation.
No, this isn’t a profound commentary on society – Philosophy wasn’t my favorite college course, if you haven’t noticed by now. This is simply what my imagination does to entertain itself while reading children’s books for the ten thousand five hundred and seventy third time… Once upon a time there were three little pigs who […]
Mile High Shopping.
I never take a magazine onto a plane with me because I’m always completely fascinated by the Sky Mall catalog. So this last flight, I obeyed the instructions at the top and took it. So they could joyfully replace it. The first thing I always think when I look at catalogs like this is, “What […]
Disney Creates Skanks.
Disney is a complicated beast. They create characters so lovable (and widely marketed) that no child can go a day without running into them somehow. In fact, my kid doesn’t go a day without pretending to be at least five of them. In the same day. Repeatedly. And not answering to anything but the particular […]
BlogHer BulletPoints.
BlogHer has an effect on 95.6% of it’s attendees that it turns their mind into complete mush by the time the weekend is over. I was not one of the lucky 4.4%. And so, while I allow my mind time to de-mush and re-solidify and my feet time to re-grow (what, you didn’t know I […]