I never take a magazine onto a plane with me because I’m always completely fascinated by the Sky Mall catalog. So this last flight, I obeyed the instructions at the top and took it. So they could joyfully replace it.
The first thing I always think when I look at catalogs like this is, “What must be the target demographic of the market they’re trying to reach?”
(Because as it has already been established, I’m a geek like that.)
And, by the products inside, I can usually sketch up a general idea…
First of all, the Sky Mall Target Audience (SMTA) are people who apparently like to feel really, really small.
…their desire to feel really, really small is so intense that they’re willing to pay $150 for a fold-up camping chair that makes their feet (still in Italian Loafers for some reason) dangle uncomfortably off the ground.
The SMTA also have broken arms, or are planning on having one soon:
(Which, by the way, this product is a total rip-off, because if you ever need a cast, your doctor will give you a cast cover for it – believe me, I have a whole collection.)
But the biggest interest of SMTA is most definitely their pets.
Especially the method in which pets use the facilities.
Besides the bizarre array of kitty litter choices (which we’ll get to later), there were doggy litter options.
Not just one,
Not just two,
But THREE options for indoor doggy relief.
As if your dog is going to tell his doggy friends in his macho-bar-voice about his wussy indoor peeing situation, “I’ve gotta go hit tha head.”
But the cat choices…oh the choices.
Apparently the main concern is to hide, as best as possible, the kitty litter box.
You can hide it inside a “Handsome piece of [bathroom] furniture”…
Or a beautiful planter that you can turn around when company comes so they don’t have to know it’s a litter box (they’ll only wonder why your plant smells like cat crap), which might also have the undesired effect of making your cat pee on THEM in anger of having their litter box hidden due to the presence of strangers…
But, if you’ve tried all the hiding solutions and still aren’t happy with the litter situation, then you will most definitely be interested in THIS kit:
I’ve never seen a happier cat sitting on a fake potty in all my life.
Apparently, though, the SMTA also wants to hide any and all pet accessories. So why not double your Dog Crate as a stylish end table??
After shopping in the Sky Mall catalog, virtually every piece of furniture in your home can also be used by your animals!
And you can even disguise your pet grooming kit as a….vacuum.
Or is that just a re-branded vacuum?
But moving on from pets, the Sky Mall catalog had the only allergy “device” that gave me chills worse than the original Neti Pot does every single time I think about it:
$100 for a sinus torture device. Yummy.
Also in the medical device category, “You MIGHT be a hypochondriac IF…
But for the not-so-paranoid SMTA, they can provide the ability to let their kids pretend they’re Ariel…with, I’m sure, only a 50% drowning rate by having their feet bound together while swimming in the ocean.
The “real” looking rocks…
But they’d never guess that your “Lifelike Bashful Yeti” was just a sculpture.
Because who would want to JUST buy the butt of a MeerKat sticking up?? Seriously??
And finally, one piece of classy indoor decor: Dishwasher art.