Style is extraordinarily important to Noah – in a way that it never has been for Ali. All shorts must possess six pockets – back pockets, front pockets, and cargo pockets. The cargo pockets cannot be too low on his leg or they’re tragically unacceptable. He has three pairs of sunglasses that he has with […]
Mommy Jeopardy!
“Welcome to this very special episode of Mommy Jeopardy! Our contestants, all too sleepy to actually introduce themselves, will choose from six categories today, all related to their occupation of Motherhood. Let’s get started.” “I’ll take ‘Kids are for the Strong of Stomach’ for $200, Alex.” “The answer is…” “What are toddler boy feet after […]
Why I Quit Bathing My Kids.
My friends of the Daily Child Bather Variety (which thankfully are rare) cannot understand people like me. They’re still in denial that the facts prove that most people are indeed like me but since I’m open and vocal about my anti-bathing stance, I must take the brunt of their shock. But here’s a little story […]
Diary of a Tired Mom.
Why is the most overused song lyric in the history of the world “All Night Long”? The phrase spans decades and genres, has been in more songs than the words bae, shawty, and boo combined, and IT IS A LIE. You know what happens all night long? Not what they’re talking about. No. Uh Uh. […]
She’s That Kind of Mom.
Sometimes you get lucky, and it’s sunny and 60 degrees on a Saturday in February. It might even look miraculously green outside, as if your dream of stepping into a time machine to take you to Spring actually occurred. You get even luckier when you have the time and the forethought to go on a […]
Babysitters are Bad Salesmen.
Marketing is supposedly essential for almost any business. Good marketing doesn’t just inform people about your stuff, or invite people to use your stuff, but it awakens the desires inside people for your stuff. M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hands. Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. You’re not yourself when you’re […]
The Brush of Death.
I’ve made many humiliating parental admissions on this blog. You guys know that I only bathe my children twice a week. You are aware that I never make their beds. You have been apprised of my issues with Sippy Cups and Mold. So you probably won’t be shocked that I’m not the best teeth-brushing mother, […]
A Public Service Announcement, for Parents.
I have been up front and honest with you many times about all of the things I forget to do, put off doing, or downright neglect when it comes to my role as a mother. I’m not the most thorough, organized, on-top-of-it person out there, and my parenting is no exception. It often looks as […]
The Ticket to Preschool.
As I mentioned a few months ago, Noah is attending Preschool this fall – three days a week, and his teacher is his precious Godmother, Miss Janey. …whom he calls “Miss Jamie”, because I make him eat lunch with Jamie of Jamie’s Rabbits way too often and once one has encountered Jamie and her Rabbits […]
Why I Homeschool.
18. If my kid is going to pass notes in class, they’re going to have to be to me. And I DO love getting a good note – especially if it’s creatively folded and contains at least twenty hearts. 17. I like being able to answer the question “When are your kids starting back […]