Mommy Jeopardy

“Welcome to this very special episode of Mommy Jeopardy! Our contestants, all too sleepy to actually introduce themselves, will choose from six categories today, all related to their occupation of Motherhood. Let’s get started.”

“I’ll take ‘Kids are for the Strong of Stomach’ for $200, Alex.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy

“What are toddler boy feet after marinating in shoes for two-plus hours, Alex?”

”That is correct.”

“Let’s go with ‘Kids are for the Strong of Stomach’ for $400.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy 2

“What is the car seat?”

“No, but a good guess.”

“What is the bathtub, Alex.”


“Let’s go ahead to ‘Kids are for the Strong of Stomach’ for $600.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy 3

“What is chunky vomit?”

“Of course.”

“’Kids are for the Strong of Stomach’ for $800.”

Mommy Jeopardy 4

“What is removing a splinter?”

“That is incorrect. Anyone else?”

“Yes. What is removing a deep, long, slippery booger from a tiny toddler nostril?”

“Very good.”

“I’m going to try ‘Kids and Logic Don’t Mix’ for $200, Alex.”

Mommy Jeopardy 5

“What is whining, Alex.”


“‘Kids and Logic Don’t Mix’ for $400.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy 6

“What is the sibling?”


“‘Kids and Logic Don’t Mix’ for $600.”

Mommy Jeopardy 8

“What is that they can actually go to the bathroom without informing me first?”

“No. Anyone else?”

“What is the fact that I cannot pick up whatever crap they dropped in the floorboard while I’m driving down the interstate?”

“That is correct.”

“‘Before and After’ for $200.”

Mommy Jeopardy 7

“What is a car trip?”

“Yes, but no.”

“What is paying bills?”

“Yes, but also no.”

“What is cleaning the house?”

“That is the question we were looking for.”

“I’ll take ‘Before and After’ for $400.”

Mommy Jeopardy 9

“What is Play-Doh?”


“I’d like ‘Cold Hard Truth’ for $200.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy 11

“What are from old pajamas to new pajamas?”


“Let’s try ‘Cold Hard Truth’ for $400.”

Mommy Jeopardy 10

“What is getting into the shower?”


“What is while I’m flossing?”

“That is correct.”

“Can I have ‘Cold Hard Truth’ for $600?”

Mommy Jeopardy 14

“What are my infant’s brand new teeth?”

“No. Anyone else?”

“Yes. What are my toddler’s needle-sharp elbows? With which he uses to propel himself out of any position?”

“That is correct.”

Let’s try ‘Cold Hard Truth’ for $800.”

Video Daily Double

“That’s today’s Video Daily Double!”

“Here is the answer…”

“What is opening the refrigerator?”

“That is not the question we’re looking for.”

“What is going up and down stairs?”

“No. Anyone else?”

“What is potty-training?”

That is correct!”

“Can I have ‘The Parenthood Bible’ for $200?”

Mommy Jeopardy 12

“What are boogers?”

“No. Those are part of The Curse of Parenthood.”

“Oh. What are stickers?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“’The Parenthood Bible’ for $400.”

Mommy Jeopardy 13

“What is hiding in the bathroom to eat chocolate right after forcing the children to eat broccoli?”

“Of course. And we’re out of time. That concludes today’s episode of Mommy Jeopardy! Congratulations on your winnings, and may God have mercy on your souls.”

12 thoughts on “Mommy Jeopardy!

  1. Excellent post. I will say with our daughters being 19 and 14 I have forgetten about a lot of these things, but you certainly conjured up some memories for me today.

  2. These are all so true!
    My almost seven year old has taken the bathroom thing to a whole new level. He will come to me and ask, “Mama, may I use the restroom please?”
    We are in the comfort of our own home, for crying out loud. You don’t need permission to pee in the toilet. I’m guessing this is a result of attending Montessori.

  3. These are all awesome!!! And so so true! Except I decided I need to stop sitting cross-legged because it’s not the boobs that get the needle-sharp elbows it’s my thighs! Agh!

  4. This is fantastic. One of the funniest things I’ve read in awhile. And ALL. SO TRUE. I JUST told your sister to stop doing _____ and suddenly you decide to start doing it?? WHY???

  5. Love! Now you need to grab a video camera and a few of your friends to perform this. Guaranteed to go viral!

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