Mommy Jeopardy!

Mommy Jeopardy

“Welcome to this very special episode of Mommy Jeopardy! Our contestants, all too sleepy to actually introduce themselves, will choose from six categories today, all related to their occupation of Motherhood. Let’s get started.”

“I’ll take ‘Kids are for the Strong of Stomach’ for $200, Alex.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy

“What are toddler boy feet after marinating in shoes for two-plus hours, Alex?”

”That is correct.”

“Let’s go with ‘Kids are for the Strong of Stomach’ for $400.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy 2

“What is the car seat?”

“No, but a good guess.”

“What is the bathtub, Alex.”

“Yes.”

“Let’s go ahead to ‘Kids are for the Strong of Stomach’ for $600.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy 3

“What is chunky vomit?”

“Of course.”

“’Kids are for the Strong of Stomach’ for $800.”

Mommy Jeopardy 4

“What is removing a splinter?”

“That is incorrect. Anyone else?”

“Yes. What is removing a deep, long, slippery booger from a tiny toddler nostril?”

“Very good.”

“I’m going to try ‘Kids and Logic Don’t Mix’ for $200, Alex.”

Mommy Jeopardy 5

“What is whining, Alex.”

“Exactly.”

“‘Kids and Logic Don’t Mix’ for $400.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy 6

“What is the sibling?”

“Exactly.”

“‘Kids and Logic Don’t Mix’ for $600.”

Mommy Jeopardy 8

“What is that they can actually go to the bathroom without informing me first?”

“No. Anyone else?”

“What is the fact that I cannot pick up whatever crap they dropped in the floorboard while I’m driving down the interstate?”

“That is correct.”

“‘Before and After’ for $200.”

Mommy Jeopardy 7

“What is a car trip?”

“Yes, but no.”

“What is paying bills?”

“Yes, but also no.”

“What is cleaning the house?”

“That is the question we were looking for.”

“I’ll take ‘Before and After’ for $400.”

Mommy Jeopardy 9

“What is Play-Doh?”

“Obviously.”

“I’d like ‘Cold Hard Truth’ for $200.”

“The answer is…”

Mommy Jeopardy 11

“What are from old pajamas to new pajamas?”

“Correct.”

“Let’s try ‘Cold Hard Truth’ for $400.”

Mommy Jeopardy 10

“What is getting into the shower?”

“Worse.”

“What is while I’m flossing?”

“That is correct.”

“Can I have ‘Cold Hard Truth’ for $600?”

Mommy Jeopardy 14

“What are my infant’s brand new teeth?”

“No. Anyone else?”

“Yes. What are my toddler’s needle-sharp elbows? With which he uses to propel himself out of any position?”

“That is correct.”

Let’s try ‘Cold Hard Truth’ for $800.”

Video Daily Double

“That’s today’s Video Daily Double!”

“Here is the answer…”

“What is opening the refrigerator?”

“That is not the question we’re looking for.”

“What is going up and down stairs?”

“No. Anyone else?”

“What is potty-training?”

That is correct!”

“Can I have ‘The Parenthood Bible’ for $200?”

Mommy Jeopardy 12

“What are boogers?”

“No. Those are part of The Curse of Parenthood.”

“Oh. What are stickers?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“’The Parenthood Bible’ for $400.”

Mommy Jeopardy 13

“What is hiding in the bathroom to eat chocolate right after forcing the children to eat broccoli?”

“Of course. And we’re out of time. That concludes today’s episode of Mommy Jeopardy! Congratulations on your winnings, and may God have mercy on your souls.”