Marketing is supposedly essential for almost any business. Good marketing doesn’t just inform people about your stuff, or invite people to use your stuff, but it awakens the desires inside people for your stuff.
M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Disneyland is the happiest place on earth.
You’re not yourself when you’re hungry for a Snickers.
I have realized that there is a vast market of untapped wealth in the world just waiting for the right marketing campaign.
Parents of small children absolutely adore being alone at a restaurant without asking their spouse to not stand on the chair and not take bites that are too big and not have to take them to the restroom and wipe their rump during the middle of dessert.
And yet, all babysitting is consumer driven.
Who is available?
When are they available?
How early can they come?
How late can they stay?
Texts, tweets, calls to confirm.
It’s a lot of planning ahead, so I theorize that it happens less often because at least one parent has to be free enough or driven enough to plan to make it happen.
But what if babysitters were aggressive marketers?
What if you were sobbing into a pile of laundry and received a text from a trusted, responsible, young lady that your kids adored….
What if you were fixing your ravenous son his fifth lunch when you sighed and popped open Twitter and saw a DM…
Or what if you just needed a FEW MINUTES TO YOURSELF WITHOUT HAVING TO ANSWER THE SAME QUESTIONS TWENTY TIMES OVER and happened to get this…
What if your overflowing fire hose of email routinely included coupons for package deals of opportunity for peace and quiet?
What if your babysitters realized that you’re good friends with another babysitting client, and offered to let you have a double date, and they’d keep both sets of kids for the bargain of time-and-a-half?
Pro Tip To Babysitters: Kids are easier when they have friends. And you just got time-and-a-half for an easier job.
What if your babysitters saw your Facebook status that said “My son just catapulted a full and open box of Cheerios across the living room after drawing on the walls with Sharpies and the baby won’t nap HELP ME NOW” and texted you, offering to help you right now?
It could be even better.
Really aggressive babysitters could create branding and slogans, blanketing your parenting life with a constant pulse of hope and excitement.
Laura. Between love and madness lies parenting.
Jordan. The best a kid can get.
Shelby. Live in your world. Play in mine.
Mandy. Save Money. Live Better. Just do it.
Jennifer. The greatest tragedy is marital indifference.
Ainsley. You’re in good hands with Ainsley.
Hayley. When you care enough to love the very best.
And you know that kids memorize a marketing slogan quicker than they can destroy a room. So you’d be hearing,
“Mommy? Can we have Hayley over? She loves us THE VERY BEST. And I know you care enough to give us that.”
Dependable young women of the world, open your eyes and see the easy fortunes that are yours for the taking, from decent and kind people who used to be you, and who miss being you at times in spite of the meaningful love they share with their beloved children. We are such easy marks.
So, babysitters. Why not try a little of that marketing I know you’re learning about in college? Think outside the Instagram standard box.
Get a Square Reader. Take credit cards.
Send spam email.
Be big brother. Maybe creepy Facebook can market to a physical location, but you can super creepy market to the real-time fragile emotional states of every young mother you know.