Marketing is supposedly essential for almost any business. Good marketing doesn’t just inform people about your stuff, or invite people to use your stuff, but it awakens the desires inside people for your stuff.

M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

Disneyland is the happiest place on earth.

You’re not yourself when you’re hungry for a Snickers.

I have realized that there is a vast market of untapped wealth in the world just waiting for the right marketing campaign.


Parents of small children absolutely adore being alone at a restaurant without asking their spouse to not stand on the chair and not take bites that are too big and not have to take them to the restroom and wipe their rump during the middle of dessert.

And yet, all babysitting is consumer driven.

Who is available?

When are they available?

How early can they come?

How late can they stay?

Texts, tweets, calls to confirm.

It’s a lot of planning ahead, so I theorize that it happens less often because at least one parent has to be free enough or driven enough to plan to make it happen.

But what if babysitters were aggressive marketers?

What if you were sobbing into a pile of laundry and received a text from a trusted, responsible, young lady that your kids adored….

How to Market Babysitting

What if you were fixing your ravenous son his fifth lunch when you sighed and popped open Twitter and saw a DM…

Babysitting Marketing


Market Babysitting

What if your overflowing fire hose of email routinely included coupons for package deals of opportunity for peace and quiet?

What if your babysitters realized that you’re good friends with another babysitting client, and offered to let you have a double date, and they’d keep both sets of kids for the bargain of time-and-a-half?

Pro Tip To Babysitters: Kids are easier when they have friends. And you just got time-and-a-half for an easier job.

What if your babysitters saw your Facebook status that said “My son just catapulted a full and open box of Cheerios across the living room after drawing on the walls with Sharpies and the baby won’t nap HELP ME NOW” and texted you, offering to help you right now?


It could be even better.

Really aggressive babysitters could create branding and slogans, blanketing your parenting life with a constant pulse of hope and excitement.

Laura. Between love and madness lies parenting.

Jordan. The best a kid can get.

Shelby. Live in your world. Play in mine.

Mandy. Save Money. Live Better. Just do it.

Jennifer. The greatest tragedy is marital indifference.

Ainsley. You’re in good hands with Ainsley.

Hayley. When you care enough to love the very best.

And you know that kids memorize a marketing slogan quicker than they can destroy a room. So you’d be hearing,

“Mommy? Can we have Hayley over? She loves us THE VERY BEST. And I know you care enough to give us that.”

Dependable young women of the world, open your eyes and see the easy fortunes that are yours for the taking, from decent and kind people who used to be you, and who miss being you at times in spite of the meaningful love they share with their beloved children. We are such easy marks.

So, babysitters. Why not try a little of that marketing I know you’re learning about in college? Think outside the Instagram standard box.

Get a Square Reader. Take credit cards.

Send spam email.

Be big brother. Maybe creepy Facebook can market to a physical location, but you can super creepy market to the real-time fragile emotional states of every young mother you know.

Get rich!

11 thoughts on “Babysitters are Bad Salesmen.

  1. Genius Idea! I love this post!
    I NEVER thought in my wildest dream that a trip ALONE to the grocery store would be such a joy to me. The things my children do in the grocery store amaze me. It’s like some strange force takes over their little bodies and they act like zoo animals that have been set free. And it never fails that I forget the one important item that I went in for in the first place.

  2. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this! We are so lucky to have grandparents who occasionally call and suggest that we let them watch the kids and it. is magical. Smart babysitters should TOTALLY try this! (And yes, why do normally sweet kids act like zoo animals at the grocery store? And why do my kids ALWAYS need to poop at a restaurant, usually just as the server brings out food? I bet a really great babysitter might know the answer.)

  3. This is brilliant. And would totally work on me & my husband. :) They could also stalk my other mommy friends on Facebook (like when I comment/commiserate with a fellow mommy about a rough day or make a “that would be so fun if I could work out all the details (aka babysitting) sort of post). I’m going to keep this in mind for my son who will be 12 in a few months & is homeschooled (or as I like to say “even more available because he isn’t held back by the public school times”). Some of our favorite babysitters have been boys and we have an abundance of toddler/preschool age boys around here. :)

  4. This is sheer genius. Babysitters should sit up and take notice! Ditto the grocery store thing. My boys are typically super well-behaved, but if they aren’t, you can bet we were at Publix.

  5. There is a boy in our neighborhood that tried to advertise on our neighborhood website. It came across as very creepy considering he detailed his love of animals and pet sitting and then at the last moment he said he would take kids too. I am actually toying with hiring a sitting for the weeks I work in the summer. I am a part time preschool special ed teacher and we have a wacky schedule . The girls I have approached act barely interested. My kids are very well behaved for others too ( I note for others).

  6. THIS TOTALLY HAPPENED TO ME! I was sitting around folding wash and a sitter texted me, “Do you want to go out on Valentines? If yes I’m free xx-xx o’clock.” OMG! I wasn’t even dreaming of that, but I sure made it happen when I got that text.

  7. I just locked myself in the bedroom and I’m trying to cope by browsing the web on my bed with my ear plugs in. My hubby is late coming home and we missed awanas tonight. This post hits a bit hard.
    Now the baby is bawling again…

  8. As someone who (long, long ago) funded a year in Germany by babysitting, can I add another?
    Don’t limit yourself to babysitting. For some families, I would cook and clean while the parents were out. “Some families”= ones that rounded my pay up, didn’t stay out longer than booked, and had children who went to bed without making me want to jump out a window. (I cleaned while they slept.) For a few very special families, I would even cook and clean so the moms could have time with their newborns (ie not actually go out.) I was always fully booked well in advance and got some pretty generous Christmas and birthday bonuses.

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