Once upon a time, a spider got trapped in my son’s underpants and attempted to eat his way out. Once upon a time was last week. I woke up Friday morning to a text and two emails from my husband, who, despite happening upon a middle-of-the-night crisis, feels strongly that all crises are best handled […]
The Shirt of Summer.
Style is extraordinarily important to Noah – in a way that it never has been for Ali. All shorts must possess six pockets – back pockets, front pockets, and cargo pockets. The cargo pockets cannot be too low on his leg or they’re tragically unacceptable. He has three pairs of sunglasses that he has with […]
A True Story About Swimsuit Shopping.
There are few things as panic-inducing as getting stuck in a swimsuit in a dressing room. It should also be noted that all swimsuit dressing rooms are rigged. Their mirrors are always without a doubt the fattest mirrors ever created*, and are hung at a downward angle to make you look four foot six. The […]
When Adventures Overlap.
It was day nine of my tonsillectomy recovery, two days away from being released back into normal life by my doctor. It was the day that I finally started feeling better. It’s a strange thing, anesthesia. You don’t realize how much it subtracts from your living until all of a sudden you wake up from […]
On Graduating Preschool.
First and Last Day of 3K Noah is officially done with preschool, now giving him the privilege of saying that he’s done something I never did – he has gone to school outside of his home before college. I know. Quite an accomplishment. It was strange for me, being a parent in a world I’d […]
The Feeling Is Not Mutual.
This post may make a lot of you tune me out forever. You may hate me, say mean things about me, and write me off as a feelingless monster. I accept this reality and understand that you have to do what you have to do. But I can’t hide my feelings any longer. I must […]
The Epic Battle Of Tonsil Hill.
I’m running out of optional body parts. I’ve had a foot bone removed, my gall bladder removed, and now my tonsils are on the docket. I mean, what’s left? My appendix, my uterus, and my teeth? (I always did think that dentures would be easier.) But my tonsils. It all started out like any other […]
The Year, In Emoji.
This symbol is what one of my friends so artistically created to represent how many of us feel about this year. Aside from the smile in the middle of the turd, it’s accurate. Because everyone we know is experiencing. Maybe it’s just Alabama – or maybe it’s all of the United States. Who knows, maybe […]
This Week’s Headlines
This week’s household headlines: “’Hopping around is so much fun – when you’re naked’, Agree Toddler Boys Everywhere.” “Negligent Mother Makes Children Wait Until She Finishes Her Lunch Before Fixing Them Their Third Lunch. Authorities Launch Investigation.” “Toddler Places Open Mouth on Meat Counter at Publix Three Times – Then Acts Shocked At Mother’s Screams […]
Cherries, Take Me Away.
My life has been the definition of “train wreck” lately. Nothing devastating or life-changing – no worries. Just a constant onslaught of sicknesses and injuries and roadblocks and traumatic doctor visits. The upside is, they often make good blog posts. Y’all have read about some of them, but I haven’t written about a lot of […]