As I demanded and expected after surviving last year, 2016 has been going my way. Or rather, Two-Sun-Sixteen. So much so that, every now and then, I wonder if the whole “Power of Words” thing has something to it. The fact that I named Two-Turd-Fifteen before the flood, before the tornado, before the hospitalization due […]
Like Five-Year-Olds Dating.
Noah and Loulie have been close since they met. She’s the Girl One Street Up, he’s the dashing gentleman with the giant blue eyes. (She’s got some pretty fantastic blue eyes herself, so my grandkids are going to look AMAZING.) Noah often makes plans for their future, as in this conversation: “I am a boy […]
On Parenting The Male Variety.
“That bad smell you’re sniffin’ is my feet.” Because that’s what a little boy tells his sister, who is across the room, when she happens to have the sniffles. He was sitting in my lap, though, so I should know – he wasn’t wrong. His shoes have smelled so dead-rotted-carcass lately that one night I […]
Crack Muffin.
Our family’s introduction to Crack Muffin came about in a bizarrely serendipitous way. It all started last summer. We were at our usual grocery store one day, casually shopping for our usual groceries, which did not include any boxed baked goods. As I surveyed the cracker aisle for the cracker option that was on sale […]
24 Hours with a Five Year Old.
The following happened between the hours of 8:30am December 21 and 8:30am December 22. Monday. 8:30am: I threw clothes at him and told him to get dressed – we had to go to Physical Therapy. After a few mandatory whines about the unfairness of having to wear clothing, he disappeared into the bathroom. The next […]
How to Properly Celebrate Two-Turd-Fifteen.
When I originally blogged the above phrase on the first day of April in the blessed(ly almost over) year of Two-Turd-Fifteen, I really had no idea. Sure, we’d been pretty much constantly sick since The Unspeakable Christmas four months prior, but it was nothing compared to what would come. Some would say I asked for […]
Not-Crazy-Renee and the Neighborhood Package Thief.
Not-Crazy-Renee (my neighbor, who I introduced to you Monday) has had an intense holiday season. For one, she’s post-partum. No one should have to be post-partum over the holidays – I should know, as Noah was born on December 19. (Happy birthday, son. You might get a sweet and touching birthday blog post…at some point.) […]
Rare Taste And The Replacement Thereof.
So I got a new Flex. It was not an easy process, as nearly everyone hates the Flex but me. And furthermore, those few that do not hate it want theirs to be painted in shades of my self-forbidden colors. I promised myself many years ago that I would never own a colorless car. Colorless […]
In the Collecting of Obscure Medical Procedures…
When I wrote my last post, I had no idea that I would find myself needing every one of those words the very next day. But first, let’s back up a bit. So for the last year and a half, I’ve worn duct plugs. It’s a really fun phrase to say over and over out […]
Properly Training Your Child to Curse.
Somewhere between last week and this week, Noah learned the word “dammit.” I really don’t think it was from me because I keep my dammits mental, under my breath, and only out loud when I’m alone without my children. Because I’m a hypocrite like that. But who knows. It could be my fault. Maybe he’s […]