Toddler Intelligence Agency, Home Office Security Clearance: SLEEP CODE RED INTELLIGENCE BREACH The Toddler Intelligence Agency (TIA) has determined that “Noah”, hereafter named “The Agent”, has allowed a serious breach in confidential agency terminology. On the afternoon of May 15, The Agent did so use a Code Sleep Security Command (CSSC) in the […]
Blog Roll
The Banker and I.
It was Monday afternoon. I was playing with the kids, as my job description dictates that I should. The house phone rang. Actually that’s not quite accurate – the copy/fax machine rang – which has no handset to answer. I lost the last remaining house phone weeks ago. So instead of getting up to answer […]
Curry Chicken for the Faint of Heart.
Although I consider myself a somewhat adventurous eater (I’ve eaten raw octopus and liked it,) I do not like Asian food. Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Indian, Thai, none of it for me, please. Fried Rice is about as far East as I prefer to go. However, when I gave birth to Ali, a member of our […]
The Final Fix.
And so it came to pass that it was her time to spend 184 Days in the prison of flood recovery. She prayed three times for this thorn to be taken from her flesh, as it grieved her soul greatly. But finally, the end was at hand. From the dark day in November when my […]
Running Out of Tradition.
For over three decades, my Grandmother has been the cornerstone of Hallmark’s Christmas success. If they have a Ritualistic Secret Society, I’m positive that she is a charter member. She has bought all of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren scores of Hallmark Christmas Ornaments every year, all lovingly dated and labeled per child. As each […]
Parenthood 2.1
Dear Tech Support, I have recently upgraded my software to Boy Child 2.5. Although in general, this new version is very visually pleasing and much less taxing on The Motherboard, I have noticed some bugs and issues, and was hoping you could advise me on how to work around them since you were so […]
The Outtake.
Just because I have a vision, a dream, a calling even, to visit fifty new restaurants this year, does not mean that my children have the same sense of seriousness and urgency regarding this ever-important quest. And as such, they might, in their own unintentional (or perhaps not) way, occasionally hijack the process. One such […]
50 Restaurants in Crappy Photos: Round Three.
For a quick recap, the purpose of this series is to eat at fifty restaurants that I’ve never visited before in and around Birmingham (although I’ve been known to break my own rules.) Feel free to catch up with Round One and Round Two. Although we usually eat local, chains aren’t against the rules, and […]
How Amazon Turned You into Their Sales Force.
I am not an Amazon hater. They bring me the things I need to my doorstep and keep me from having to haul two small children into the store. I’m also not one to jump on the bandwagon of Facebook privacy complaints. Thanks to five years of blogging, I’ve long since come to terms with […]
My Head on a Platter.
Keep Calm and Speak British. Ali has an iPad Atlas that is quite fabulous. She regularly turns the globe, scours the world and learns all sorts of cultural nuances. And to make it all the more fabulous, it speaks in a British Accent. Which is great and well and just peachy – except in the […]