So I was buying panties. That’s how all good stories start, right? I was buying panties, and had just handed them to the store clerk to ring up. She looked down, had a spark of eureka come over her face, and I watched as my future panties lassoed a memory in that cashier’s mind and […]
Blog Roll
Babysitters are Bad Salesmen.
Marketing is supposedly essential for almost any business. Good marketing doesn’t just inform people about your stuff, or invite people to use your stuff, but it awakens the desires inside people for your stuff. M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hands. Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. You’re not yourself when you’re […]
Your Worst Nightmares…Stuffed.
I don’t understand why I just found out about this – it should have been breaking news. My friend should have known. I should have been told immediately. But alas, I wasn’t told until weeks later. But at least I was told. A friend of ours gave another friend of ours a very special Christmas […]
A Weekend Concert.
Noah has been sleeping with a cucumber tucked tightly by his side since I brought Larry home to him this summer. As such, Larry has become a part of our family, weaving into our bedtime stories, mealtimes, desperate pre-bed searches, and…song lyrics. Chris composed this Silly Song over Christmas and performed it nightly, and the […]
The FaceTune Challenge.
So. Remember my post about using Facetune, and then feeling guilty for making my skin so smooth? I eventually did feel guilty enough to replace all of my profile pictures with the unedited images – they looked more like me, anyway. And the skin-so-smooth-I-haven’t-actually-had-that-since-I-was-seven was starting to annoy me. But one night as I was […]
That Time I Fought Captain Hook and Won (Sorta).
On Sunday night, Chris and I watched the next to last episode of Once Upon a Time’s Season Three. It featured a lot of Captain Hook (Also known as the beautiful and charming Killian Jones), along with a good deal of time travel. My subconscious was greatly impacted by these things. The first time I […]
Why I Ended My Relationship With Downton Abbey.
It’s that time of year. The time when everyone starts asking me questions. “Don’t tell me any spoilers, but is this season worth watching?” “Where’s your chart for this year?” “Please tell me no one’s going to die.” It’s because I have had a known and public love affair with Downton Abbey. So much so […]
Don’t Be The Butt of The Joke.
When I opened up my Christmas presents from Chris, there was one particularly long and skinny one. As soon as I saw what it was, I gasped and looked up in horror. “You DIDN’T. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!” “Wait! No…this isn’t a Selfie Stick! THIS, my dear….THIS is a SUNSET STICK. “Ummmm…..it […]
The Birthday Post.
Today is Ali’s eighth birthday. And, in my ongoing effort to lazify my life, she has to share it with her brother. (On here, anyway.) His birthday is six days before Christmas, and hers is 14 days after Christmas. This unfortunate timing may make me the worst sort of Mom when it comes to actually […]
It’s Time for Some Resolve.
– I resolve to run into less objects, which leave mysterious bruises on my upper thighs that I then spend days trying to remember what exactly I ran into. – If that resolution doesn’t stick, I resolve to keep a bruise diary. – I resolve to invent a car floorboard that eats Chick-Fil-A crumbs and […]