Your Worst Nightmares…Stuffed.

I don’t understand why I just found out about this – it should have been breaking news. My friend should have known. I should have been told immediately.

But alas, I wasn’t told until weeks later.

But at least I was told.

A friend of ours gave another friend of ours a very special Christmas gift.

A stuffed louse.

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That’s right, people. A cuddly, lovable, adorable member of the head lice family. Because apparently this friend believes in immersion therapy to treat one’s fears.

Within seconds of laying eyes upon the creature, I was on the website, mouth agape, in awe of the brilliance of people who could create 150 disgusting…yet adorable plush creatures. And as a bonus, scientifically accurate!

GIANTmicrobes® are stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes — only a million times actual size!

The core microbial body types (circles, rods, spirals, chains, etc.) are always maintained. But in addition, morphological attributes of real microbes (such as the natural bumps of the rhinovirus, or the strands of flagella on the Salmonella bacterium) are used to create such anthropological features as noses and hair. So while the designs are always intended to be endearing, they are always firmly rooted in science.

I mean really. Who hasn’t always wanted a stuffed Brain-Eating Amoeba?

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And I’m pretty sure you can get put on a Terrorist Watch List for sending one of these in the mail…

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They also have “Oops – I’m So Sorry” presents…

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Their breast cancer cell is pretty awesome, because it can be cured by being turned inside out.

 

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And I might have to buy myself an immunoglobulin. Because I need more of them desperately.

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And I feel like this little guy would make a fantastic Vasectomy Present.

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But if you’re looking for a Valentine’s Gift, they have that, too.

You can either give your special someone a precious collection of Herpes, Pox, HPV, Chlamydia and Penicillin,

heart-burned

 

Or if you’re feeling slightly nicer, a Sperm Cell, Egg Cell, Kissing Disease, and Penicillin.

heart-warming

 

They have so many more furry friends, including Athlete’s foot, Bad breath, Botulism, a Diabetes Beta Cell, Diarrhea, E. Coli (which interestingly looks nothing like Diarrhea), Ebola, Fat Cells, Gangrene, a Pimple, Typhoid Fever, and even…Yogurt? Yes. Yogurt.

And if you need them even bigger, they have them in pillow-sized friends.

I mean, why not rest your head on a giant maggot?? And surely if you sleep on a louse, you can’t possibly have head lice – that’d just be too ironic.

I’m personally kind of in love with this site. So if you need a gift for me, you know where to look.

Disclaimer: I was not requested to share these products, nor does the company know I’m doing so. But they’re welcome to send me a pillow-sized staph infection, if they’re so inclined.

Leave your comment below!

Comments

  1. scrolling through my FB feed this morning, my 4yo old son is sitting next to me looking at the pictures and saying, “That’s nice. That’s nice.” (Seeing a picture of a John Deere tractor) “Ooooh! THAT’S nice!” And the link to your louse blog comes up. “That’s not nice.” Cracking up.

  2. Wow. Umm. Wow. I can understand why someone would want to make larger models of these various bugs and disease cells for scientific study. But WHY make them plush? Cuddly? Almost cute if you didn’t know its origins? Seriously all I can say is Wow. And I am certain my 5-yr old would love a box because everything is So Cute to her.

  3. Heather Neufeld says:

    Ummm. Can i just have a normal pillow? …….. ;)

  4. One of my favourite pictures of Elizabeth as a baby features stomach ulcer See: http://parenthood.phibian.com/?ID=151

    And here’s cute baby Elizabeth with chicken pox: http://parenthood.phibian.com/?ID=136

    Lyme disease… http://parenthood.phibian.com/?ID=208

    Ebola – actually Ebola still sleeps with her, which has gotten less amusing this year, given that my parents are in Africa and people are geography challenged so ask us constantly about their health http://parenthood.phibian.com/?ID=180

    We have a pile more but I won’t bore you with them. I don’t seem to have any with Matthew though – Elizabeth is too protective of them (and he IS a bit of a chewer).

  5. Just please tell me all their proceeds go to medical research or a cure for the common cold or something of benefit to society!

  6. If someone gave me a stuffed louse, they’d no longer be my friend. I, however, am SERIOUSLY considering ordering the stuffed chlamydia for a friend. #winning

  7. The first time I went to see my OBGYN, I was still in college and she was fresh out of residency. She invited me back to her office to discuss some questions I had, and there along her windowsill were several of the STD Giant Microbes. I knew then that she was awesome.

  8. Stephanie says:

    My sister works as a tech in a pathology/cytology lab, preparing people’s…um, “specimens.” I think she needs a giant Chlamydia to commemorate all the times she has handled that particular microbe–which she says is way more common than you might think.

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