I don’t understand why I just found out about this – it should have been breaking news. My friend should have known. I should have been told immediately.
But alas, I wasn’t told until weeks later.
But at least I was told.
A friend of ours gave another friend of ours a very special Christmas gift.
That’s right, people. A cuddly, lovable, adorable member of the head lice family. Because apparently this friend believes in immersion therapy to treat one’s fears.
Within seconds of laying eyes upon the creature, I was on the website, mouth agape, in awe of the brilliance of people who could create 150 disgusting…yet adorable plush creatures. And as a bonus, scientifically accurate!
GIANTmicrobes® are stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes — only a million times actual size!
The core microbial body types (circles, rods, spirals, chains, etc.) are always maintained. But in addition, morphological attributes of real microbes (such as the natural bumps of the rhinovirus, or the strands of flagella on the Salmonella bacterium) are used to create such anthropological features as noses and hair. So while the designs are always intended to be endearing, they are always firmly rooted in science.
I mean really. Who hasn’t always wanted a stuffed Brain-Eating Amoeba?
And I’m pretty sure you can get put on a Terrorist Watch List for sending one of these in the mail…
They also have “Oops – I’m So Sorry” presents…
Their breast cancer cell is pretty awesome, because it can be cured by being turned inside out.
And I might have to buy myself an immunoglobulin. Because I need more of them desperately.
But if you’re looking for a Valentine’s Gift, they have that, too.
You can either give your special someone a precious collection of Herpes, Pox, HPV, Chlamydia and Penicillin,
Or if you’re feeling slightly nicer, a Sperm Cell, Egg Cell, Kissing Disease, and Penicillin.
They have so many more furry friends, including Athlete’s foot, Bad breath, Botulism, a Diabetes Beta Cell, Diarrhea, E. Coli (which interestingly looks nothing like Diarrhea), Ebola, Fat Cells, Gangrene, a Pimple, Typhoid Fever, and even…Yogurt? Yes. Yogurt.
And if you need them even bigger, they have them in pillow-sized friends.
I’m personally kind of in love with this site. So if you need a gift for me, you know where to look.
Disclaimer: I was not requested to share these products, nor does the company know I’m doing so. But they’re welcome to send me a pillow-sized staph infection, if they’re so inclined.