Rachel Callahan

History 101 of the Teenage Jean Mutilation Epidemic.

February 10, 2009August 21, 2012 Rachel Callahan Anal Retentivity to a Fault, Denim Drama, Don't Listen to my Fashion Advice, Utter Silliness

Why do I blog about blue jeans so much? I guess I better create a category just for all of my denim drama.

Every generation of teens have their own unique methods for mutilating blue jeans. MUCH to the chagrin of their parents, who just spent money to buy them perfectly new and good jeans.

In the 80’s, it was to rip holes in them. Especially strategically placed holes. Which kinda gave away that they were ripped and not “accidental”.

In the 90’s (my era of teen jean mutilation – which I wasn’t allowed to participate in), it was slitting the sides of the bottom of the jeans (you know, so that our Timberland boots could fit easier. I wonder whatever happened to my Timberlands. . .)

In the late 90’s, it was writing all over one’s jeans. Or having one’s friends write all over jeans so as to look the maximum amount of cool and popular.

Now that we’re in the 00’s, there are a lot of jean mutilation trends out there, but there is one that I am not sure is actually practiced, or if jeans are bought pre-mutilated only, but I decided to take part in it anyway.

Maybe since I wasn’t allowed to mutilate my jeans as a teenager.

You know, working out all of that pent-up rebellion that I have. I think I might just stay out till midnight and jump on a trampoline and watch “You Can’t Do That on Television” while I’m at it.

Anyway, back to jean mutilation: I tried ripping out the bottom hem of my jeans.

I hear the gasps of horror at my rebellion now.

You see, I have a few pairs of Express Jeans that when I bought them, they were just barely the right length (I am just at that terrible height where regular jeans are either JUST RIGHT or slightly too short, but Longs would stretch all the way back up to my knees).

However, I don’t know if it was shrinkage from washing, if I’m getting taller, or if the expanding of my hips took up some length (hopefully the first hypothesis), but one day I caught a glance of myself in a full length mirror and realized that my jeans were at that very awkward length. Just a weeee bit too short.
Ick.

This traumatic moment is what led to me buying my most recent jeans, which as I already told you brought troubles of their own.

So, I took one of my pairs and tried a grand mutilation experiment. I ripped out the seams, then ironed them down really good.

However, since I pretty much never iron (I thank my husband regularly for wearing shorts and t-shirts to work – yes, shorts even in the wintertime. Unless it is under 40 degrees. That is his OFFICIAL cut-off. Then it’s jeans. But at any rate, I never have to iron), I had absolutely NO idea where my ironing board was, so I just decided to do a quick ironing job on the carpet in our dressing room.

Bad idea.
It actually MELTED the carpet.

Yes, in two places. I know, I should have realized it was melting on the first leg, but it’s not like I check the surface that I’m ironing on to make sure that it didn’t melt. I MEAN, who in their right mind made carpet meltable?? Don’t they know it should be an ironable surface??

Gee.

So besides my ironing issues, I loved my jean’s new look:
It gave me just enough length to fix the awkward shortness and really make them the perfect length. AND it adds more visual interest to the jeans.

Now I’m not sure what is going to happen after a couple of washes, seeing that there is now NO hem at all. I may have to go back and somehow manage to do a very small hem (however, with my atrocious sewing abilites, don’t count on it), or if any of you have any better ideas, I’m all ears.

So, to recap this all-important blog,

Dweeby-I’m-a-nerd-that-has-an-accounting-degree-length:
Cool-I’m-not-really-27-years-old-length:
I know. My blog posts are so thought-provoking and life-changing.

Next on the list of Denim Drama posts: The technical differences between cool jeans and Mom Jeans – what makes a Mom Jean a Mom Jean. Be on the lookout – posted Monday, March 2nd.

PLEASE UPDATE YOUR FEED!!!

February 9, 2009 Rachel Callahan Uncategorized

Sorry if this is the second time you’re getting this, but I’m trying to get it through to the old-domain subscribers, which is no easy task.

For those of you with some sort of blog reader or feed, this message is for you.

Apparently, my feed will only redirect for two weeks, then it quits. So even if your feed worked when I originally changed my domain, it will no longer work. I went back to my old address long enough to post this blog in hopes that it will update any feeds at the old address. However, unless you update to my new feed, you will most likely no longer receive any posts. The most universal way to subscribe would be to copy and paste the following in your reader:

feeds.feedburner/graspingforobjectivityinmysubjectivelife

Or if you would rather, you can always directly link to www.graspingforobjectivity.com.

If this doesn’t work, let me know and I will see what I can do to help you. But now is the time to switch!

The One-Too-Many Beach Blog

February 9, 2009 Rachel Callahan The Blissfulness of Life, Yes I'm a beach bum. What of it?

We’re back!

Now I was going to be done with blogging about the beach.

However, Chris wanted to actually go on the beach yesterday before we left. I have this very strange quirk that I don’t like going on the actual beach the day that we leave. Especially if we hadn’t been on the beach the whole trip before that point. It’s depressing or something.

But he wanted to go, and so in an attempt to pump me up about this, he said, “Just think of all of the great blogging pictures you can take. Your readers will love it! They’ll feel like they’re on the sunny beach in the middle of February!”

Now I was not opposed to going to the beach for him, but I disagreed with his logic. I said, “No they won’t. They’ll just be jealous and bitter.”

He said, “Yes they will!! They live vicariously through your blog. It makes them happy to see happy things.”

I said, “No, they like being entertained by me, but they much prefer being entertained by sadistic things like me getting injured while sleepwalking, being scared to death by a squirrel in my shower, or things they can related to like the weird dinnertime conversations of families, or just truly bizarre occurrences like bellydancing and droves of people dressed up like Jabba the Hut and such. They don’t want to see me simply having a good time at the beach. Especially in February.”

So feel free to weigh in on the issue. I still think I’m right, but I’m going to share pictures with you anyway. Because I’m just that submissive of a wife.

Sunday morning before we went to the beach, Ali and I had our traditional photo shoot in Kitty and Leo’s back yard. I don’t know why their yard is so perfect for taking pictures, but the lighting is just right. They really should turn it into a timeshare for photographers.
(Barkley, please take note of her Gymboree outfit that we got on sale at the outlet mall. You have finally succeeded in getting me to actually shop there. Or at least at the outlet.)Then we went up to the top of the pier again to enjoy the beautiful day. Ali enjoyed tip-toeing to see over the railing with Daddy:
Then we got some family pictures. If you notice the scary drop-off between the railing and the roof, please know that we held her hand the whole time. According to Chris, there are NO building codes with regards to piers, so this pier is actually much safer than it has to be, thank goodness.
“Daddy play ring-a-rosies!!”This is who Ali gets her curly hair from, if you ever wondered. . .
Watchin’ for fishies. . .
So here’s where we headed to the beach. Ali was squealing from excitement about it, until Chris tried to put her down in the sand. NO THANK YOU!!
But she was all too happy to walk in it once we got to the hard-packed stuff.
Ali with her favorite people of the weekend:
She actually loved getting wet. It was in the 70’s and not windy, but the water was still pretty chilly. She didn’t seem to mind.
Even when she fell in, she loved it.She found a fragment of a seriously boring looking shell and held onto it the whole time. It managed to make it home with us.
On the car ride back, she slept great again – two hours! Which afforded me enough time to get the rarest sort of picture – sleeping ones.
Oh, and thanks to upcoming Mardi Gras and Leo’s generosity, all of Ali’s greatest hopes and wishes of accessory heaven were achieved this weekend.

She sported the I’m-an-80’s-glam-queen look,
The 70’s-flower-child look,
and the 00’s-I’m-an-axiomatically-bombastic-rapper look.
And believe it or not, she had another set of necklaces that I just realized that I never even got a picture of. Oh yes, the accessory queen has a whole new set of accessories now. They will go so nicely with her rainboots, sunglasses, and mittens.

Kitty and the Cats.

February 8, 2009 Rachel Callahan Utter Silliness, Yes I'm a beach bum. What of it?

I have had the song “Benny and the Jets” stuck in my head all day, because Ali and I decided this morning that Kitty and her three cats should be a band. So we’ve been singing it all day: “Kitty and the CATS”. Then, in a complete random twist of irony, the song actually came on the radio on our way home from dinner. I mean seriously – I haven’t heard that song in decades.

Okay, maybe a slight exaggeration, but it’s certainly not on normal rotation. So Ali and I will both be singing “Kitty and the Cats” for the foreseeable future.

Now, onto a recap of our day. Quick Disclaimer: This post will be a completely disjointed pile of pictures and thoughts, so don’t expect some beautiful weaving together of a story here.

Mainly because I followed up my dinner of Steak and Potatoes (which always makes me sleepy – which makes me believe in that “eating for your blood type theory, since it’s the opposite of what I’m supposed to eat. Oops. There I go on a tangent. Told you) with a big slice of super-icing-ey King Cake, something that I L-O-V-E but have been avoiding like the plague (I even took this picture of of the delicious looking ones at Bruno’s last week with the thought that I might blog about my super self-control:).
However, being down here where Mardi Gras is an official holday and the King Cakes are GENUINE made it so that I couldn’t fight the temptation anymore.

So I am in a fog, a diabetic coma, and my eyes are involuntarily darting from side to side.

Now that I’ve cleared that up.

Last time we were down here, Ali was obsessed with attempting to sit in their tiny beach chair that held coasters. Although she acknowledged that the chair was too little for her this time, the temptation of trying to crawl through the cat tubes was too strong for her.
After all, it DID look like her crawling tubes at home . . .
Maybe if I go in backwards. . .
After giving up on that endeavor, she decided to play puzzles with Kitty:
After that, us girls went outlet shopping while the boys did some work of some sort.

Banana Republic had some awesomely horrible huge rubber boots. And since Mom was able to finally free Ali from the grip of intense fear of boots (aka “Silly Shoes“) by buying her some rain boots, I figured it was time to torture her with boots again:I’m sure she’ll forgive me one day.

After that, she found a car with Garfield in it.
After having a deep conversation with Garfield,
She drove him all around the outlet mall, much to his excitement.
After shopping and naptime, we played a little in the back yard. Much to Mommy’s nervousness, Daddy let Ali walk down the pier:
But she didn’t go without repeating to herself, “Ali be CAREFUL, Ali be CAREFUL”, and looking back every now and then to make sure Mommy was coming:
We had to have a good run in the yard. For some reason, their backyard just begs to be run in:
Yes, she wore those Mardi Gras beads all day.
Jaci should be proud of her soccer skills – we got in some good kicks.
While we were going “up,up,up” and “down,down,down” with Ali over and over on the porch stairs, I noticed that the guys were demonstrating all kinds of creative uses for a roof.
Such as, climbing exercises,
And pillows.
Go figure.

We had some family swing time (don’t you love my rainbow cozy clothes??),
And a little spinning around time. Back to that whole “yard who begs to be run around in” thing,
Then collapsed in a dizzy heap. Or, as Ali calls it, “bizzy”.
But the most important thing we learned all day was provided by the toll bridge company:
That’s right, people: feel free to leave your wipers on, but only if it’s sunny out.

The Chronicles of Friday

February 7, 2009 Rachel Callahan A Day in the Life, Anal Retentivity to a Fault, Toddlers: The Experience

I started out my day today with the help of my alter-ego, my sleep-walking/talking/acting self. I somehow managed to dial the intricate code to get our alarm clock to turn off in my sleep, which is something I have trouble doing half the time when I’m awake. I don’t know why our alarm clock befuddles me so badly, but I never can hit the right buttons to turn the dang thing off – except this morning. In my sleep.

So I woke up at 7:55 to the sound of “Mooooommmmy hoooold you PLEEEEASSSSEEE!!!”. I guess I needed an extra hour of sleep this morning, because we all know that our asleep self knows best.

So I jumped up with tons to do, being that we were leaving at lunchtime to come down here.

In case you can’t read my mind, “down here” would be Kitty and Leo’s – in Orange Beach.

And, for the first time in my life, I saved ALL of mine and Ali’s packing to do on the day of departure.

And let me tell you, that’s big. I was the kid that my whole family made fun of for having three packing lists made weeks before trips – one that I wrote out as I thought of things, then I went back and rewrote a new copy alphabetically, and then re-re-wrote a third copy categorized.

I’ve come a long way, people.

Back to waking up at 7:55. I jumped out of bed full of guilt and ran into Ali’s room, apologizing to her and telling her, “Mommy was asleep.”. She was perfectly fine with that explanation, and said “oh. Mommy was ASLEEP!”. Still half asleep, I brought her into our bedroom where we “read books in Mommy’s bed!!” every morning.

So I’m sitting there, finally waking up, trying to figure out how in the world I’m going to get a shower (something I ALWAYS do before she wakes up).

I floated up a test baloon to her.

“Would you mind reading books in ALI’S bed so that Mommy can take a bath?”

“Okay – read books in Ali’s bed!”

That was easy.

The rest of the morning was a blur of packing, fixing breakfast, packing, giving Ali a bath, visiting with Gramamma and Pop, packing, fixing lunch, and then leaving.

Oh yes, and Ali having this extraordinarily graceful moment:
Oh come on, you know you put on your lipstick on the toilet too. While wearing rain boots. Over your footie jammies. And while wearing a man’s hat.

Her sense of style is so beyond mine.

So the plan was to leave at lunchtime, and retry that grand lofty goal of having naptime in the car. It’d been a while since we tried it, and the last couple of times were either not at all successful, or very marginally successful (30 minute nap instead of the usual 3 hour nap).

I was trepidatious, but feeling ambitious.

The first time I told her it was night-night time and that she was going to go night-night in the car, she gave me the most confused, what-planet-do-you-live-on look ever. After a few more minutes of attempts to explain and help her understand the concept, I finally pulled her blanket halfway up her face.

That was like magic.

She dozed off in no time, and slept for an amazing-for-a-car-nap one and a half hours.
Hallllllleeeeeluuuujah!!!

When she woke up, after a good stretch,
I gave her stickers to play with.
Now normally I would have given her one sticker at a time, trying to make them stretch, but I scored the sticker deal of a lifetime last week. If you use stickers, you must go to Michael’s on 280 – on their clearance aisles (a new discovery of mine) – they have huge boxes of 6000 stickers on clearance for $7.99. AND for some reason their system doesn’t realize they’re already on clearance, so you can use the 40% off coupon that’s always in the paper and end up paying $4.80 for 6000 stickers.

And let me tell you. Although I am a bit jaded when the number of stickers are advertised, 6,000 stickers is a lot. It will last her for FOREVER.

Or maybe the rest of the month.

Now I feel compelled to share my skepticism about sticker advertising. Because I know you care.

There was this time I bought a box of stickers (the really popular ones when I was a kid – Libby something? Really bright colors. . . I don’t think they’re in business anymore because I couldn’t find them to reference here) when I was around 9 years old that advertised sheets and sheets of stickers in this particular box. But when I opened it, there was woefully fewer sheets of stickers than the outside showed. So naturally, being as anal-retentive as a child as I am now (maybe more so, evidenced by my excessive packing list making that I have now given up), I wrote the company and stated my disappointment in their false advertising. A few weeks later, I actually received a letter apologizing several more sheets of stickers enclosed!

Consumer feedback works, people – even for a 9 year old!

ALL THAT TO SAY, I got a GREAT deal on stickers, so it didn’t bother me in the least that her clothing had a whole new dimension by the time we got to Orange Beach:
All in all, the trip was a huge success – the easiest drive ever. She was perfectly content reading and stickering and napping, and we were completely content talking and listening to This American Life.

After a delicious dinner with Kitty and Leo at one of our favorite beach restaurants, Mikee’s, we’re snug here at “home”, and here I sit telling you about my day.

That’s all.

One Step Forward + One Step Backward. = Three Steps Forward

February 6, 2009 Rachel Callahan "Deep" Thoughts by Rachel, Toddlers: The Experience

The interesting thing about blogging about a toddler is that sometimes when you write a post, reality clearly seems one way. But just a few days later, that reality may change completely. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

I wrote this post about a month ago, but never finished or published it :

With Regards to Obedience, One Step Forward + One Step Backward.

Step Forward: Amanda was over on Wednesday, and I had said something sarcastic to Ali.

In a playful way (which toddlers never understand, of course), she told Ali, “Ali, hit your Mommy for me!!”

Ali, who was standing next to where I was sitting, looked at me with hugely wide eyes. She stood frozen for a a few seconds, then told Amanda, “Ali obeys Mommy.”

Smart girl!

Step Backward:

On Thursday, we were about to head upstairs for Ali’s nap. I went to the fridge to put up her juice, and she headed for the stairs. I called out twice for her to wait for Mommy, and I thought she had.

She did not.

And despite the fact that we have followed her up the stairs hundreds of times without helping at all and she has never fallen, she fell.

Thank goodness, I think she must have only been on the second or third step, but she was still quite frightened and upset.

We talked about obeying Mommy and how it keeps you from being scared and getting hurt.

Hopefully it will sink in.

I was going through my drafts that were never published the other day and found this post. Here’s the amazing thing about that day: that step backward ended up equaling at least three more steps forward in her obedience and wisdom.

To understand why, I will have to elaborate on one of Ali’s quirks.

I am afraid that Ali is going to be a huge grudge-holder. She remembers things that hurt her months back and avoids them like the plague. For instance, one night, Chris asked her if she wanted to sit in a particular chair. She shook her head and informed him, “Ali fell out of it.” I thought about it, and sure enough, about 3 months ago, she fell out of that chair. I hadn’t realized until that moment that she had never sat in THAT chair since.

Anyway, although I am afraid that this will be a limiting characteristic later in her adult life, it is quite nice now, so I am appreciating it while it is an asset. And ever since that day that she fell down those stairs, she has been overly obedient, nay even paranoid, about stairs. She always waits for me and makes sure that I’m behind her. Every now and then, she will tell me, “Ali fell down THIS stair. Wasn’t wise, was it. Wait for Mommy.”

So, what I learned from this, and what a lot of you Moms I’m SURE have already learned is, don’t get too hung up about it when your toddler disobeys you. It might turn out to be a huge milestone of obedience and understanding what is wise and what isn’t.

February Reader Appreciation Giveaway!!!

February 5, 2009 Rachel Callahan Giveaways and Contests

Hello, my favorite readers!

(Um, that’s all of you.)

Anyway, it’s time for my monthly reader appreciation giveaway!!

This month’s prizes are 2 $10 Gift Cards to Target.

Not to buy groceries or toilet paper or diapers with.

That will not be tolerated.

But to buy something that you always want to put in your basket, but you know that you already blew your budget by $30 and just can’t. Got it?? Because these cards WILL report back to me if you used this card in a responsible manner and I WILL NOT be happy if you did.

Okay, not really. But just try to use it irresponsibly, okay?

For Gift Card #1, anyone enter by:
1. commenting on this post, and
2. You can get three extra entries by leaving a “Rejected Mommy Blog Name” idea on this post from Monday (which, by the way, NO ONE has done yet. It must have been as hard of an assignment as I thought it was).
3. As always, if you’re a first time commenter on this post, you get an extra entry!!

And Gift Card #2 will go to one of my top 10 commenters of the month, who are, in alphabetical order . . . (I can feel the drama building). . .(do you feel it yet??). . .

1. Amy G.
2. Ann Marie
3. Carol
4. Giann
5. Gina
6. Jaci
7. Jennifer W.
8. Kitty
9. Leanna
10. Mama Hen

Top 10: you are also eligible for prize #1 as well.

You have until February 16th to enter, and I will announce the randomly chosen winners at 3pm on February 17th.

Thank you all so much for making January a really fun blog month, and good luck!!!!

A Blog a Day Keeps the Doctor Away. . .

February 4, 2009 Rachel Callahan Giveaways and Contests, Mabel's Labels Blogher '09 Contest

I am writing this post as an entry into Mabel’s Labels 2009 Blogher Contest. They have a very generous grand prize of a fully-paid trip to Blogher ’09 – you can check it out here. Thank you, Mabel’s Labels!!

A year ago, I hardly knew what a blog was.

Today, I spend most of my waking moments thinking in the language “bloggy”.

My thoughts are filled with ~~completely obsessive-compulsive~~ analytical engineering of future blogs:

How can I blog about that and make it interesting?

Ooh, that was terrible, but it sure is bloggable!!!

That was a really funny thought. How can I turn it into a complete blog?

Blogging has revolutionized my life.

When I left my fast-paced, self-important, relationally-oriented job to be a stay at home Mom, it was a hard transition. I fully expected to just be a “natural Mom”, but I found that to be far from reality. Although I knew the ultimate and complete importance of my new role, being alone at home all day long with a non-communicative baby made me especially miss the human interaction of my old life.

I felt lonely, as if I was missing out, and no longer important.

When I discovered blogging, I discovered a whole new way to fulfill my needs for friends, interaction, encouragement, affirmation, and sharing life. It has helped me reconnect with friends, make new friends, and become closer to people that I have known all my life but have never had the occasion to get to know. I have so many more rich relationships than my pre-blogging days!

But it has changed my life in so many other ways as well.

It has made me more of an extrovert. Or at least a virtual extrovert. I am so much less awkward on the internet than in real life!!!

For instance, I have discovered my sense of humor. I have always been aware of my horribly bumbling delivery of jokes. You know, that feeling that you just said something that would have been funny were it not delivered by a complete geek. But by subtracting out my delivery, I have discovered that I really am funny, I just can’t tell my funnies. But write about them? Sure!! All day long!

It has also given me a real, bona fide hobby. I never knew what to put on questionnaires when I came to that dreaded line: “hobbies and interests”. It made me feel like a total bore with no life.

And, most importantly, it has given me an awesome way to journal our family’s life: something I’ve always wanted to do but could never seem to make happen.

No more guilt about what I’m missing remembering!

I look back at old posts and think, “I would have already forgotten that were it not for the fact that I blogged about it!”. It is so amazing to think that I have preserved our life in such an impactful way.

The truly awesome thing about blogging, though, is the potential to touch many other people’s lives in an impactful way. Everything that I listed above is what blogging has done for me. However, the benefits do not stop there.

My blogging benefits my out-of-town family, who can’t wait for the next installment about their precious Ali.

My blogging will benefit Ali, because I have captured her childhood in such a powerful and meaningful way. I cannot tell you how much I would pay to be able to recount every day of my childhood like this. I can’t wait to share it with her.

And hopefully, my blogging benefits my readers, by entertaining them and giving them someone to relate to that goes through the same struggles and triumphs that they do.

I am always recommending blogging to people because of the amazing benefits that I and others appreciate on a daily basis.

Un-Wordless Wednesday: The Importance of Accessories.

February 4, 2009 Rachel Callahan Wordless Wednesday - as IF I could be wordless.

Dear Children’s Place,

Thank you so much for finally coming out with your 2009 line of sunglasses.
I cannot express to you how happy you made a little girl.
And how happy you made a Mommy, who can quit fixing and re-fixing, finding and re-finding and stealing teeny tiny screws out of other items to make this same, sad, old pair of sunglasses survive until this blessed moment.
Because sunglasses that you buy for $2.50 are not made to last more than one season. And I’m okay with that.

But because of that fact, I would really appreciate it if you could carry sunglasses all year ’round.

After all, you must keep in mind your clientele, and that they are a particularly finicky little bunch, and may very well have a complete obsession with wearing sunglasses and mittens at all times, indoors or out, no matter how hard it may make simple tasks.
So if you could please change the status of these items from “season specific merchandise” to “necessities”, I would greatly appreciate it.

Because, you see, while you were not carrying sunglasses and on one of the longer “I’m going missing” stints of last year’s sunglasses, I paid $5.99 to buy a pair of sunglasses from Target.
And she hated them. And begged for “other glasses, pleeeeese”.

Because even at this young age, they already know the brands they prefer.

And she prefers her $2.50 Children’s Place glasses, thankyouverymuch.

Sincerely,
A Mom of a Two-Year-Old Fashionista.
See my other, related Wordless Wednesday at B-Sides.
Check out everyone else’s WW at 5 Minutes for Mom!

Book Giveaway Winners!

February 3, 2009 Rachel Callahan Giveaways and Contests

Here are the winners of my two giveaways.

The winner of the first giveaway, for the Historic Photos of Birmingham book, was:

#25 –contin kandy

You will be receiving an email from me shortly to get your address to mail your prize.

The winners of the second giveaway, for the following prizes,
1. Historic Photos of Broadway
2. Historic Photos of World War II
3. Historic Photos of Paris
4. Historic Photos of the White House
5. The Road to Eden’s Ridge

Were the following five people:
#122 Ann Marie
#196 Shirley
#240 guettel78
#283Andria
#366 Ingrid

The five of you need to comment on this post and let me know which of the five prizes you would like. It is first come first serve, so if someone else has already claimed the one you were going to pick, please pick another one. These prizes were furnished by Turner Publishing – Thank you SO much to Turner for their generous prizes, and to Corinne at Turner for making these giveaways happen!!