Dear Children’s Place,
Thank you so much for finally coming out with your 2009 line of sunglasses.
I cannot express to you how happy you made a little girl.
And how happy you made a Mommy, who can quit fixing and re-fixing, finding and re-finding and stealing teeny tiny screws out of other items to make this same, sad, old pair of sunglasses survive until this blessed moment.
Because sunglasses that you buy for $2.50 are not made to last more than one season. And I’m okay with that.
But because of that fact, I would really appreciate it if you could carry sunglasses all year ’round.
After all, you must keep in mind your clientele, and that they are a particularly finicky little bunch, and may very well have a complete obsession with wearing sunglasses and mittens at all times, indoors or out, no matter how hard it may make simple tasks.
So if you could please change the status of these items from “season specific merchandise” to “necessities”, I would greatly appreciate it.
Because, you see, while you were not carrying sunglasses and on one of the longer “I’m going missing” stints of last year’s sunglasses, I paid $5.99 to buy a pair of sunglasses from Target.
And she hated them. And begged for “other glasses, pleeeeese”.
Because even at this young age, they already know the brands they prefer.
And she prefers her $2.50 Children’s Place glasses, thankyouverymuch.