I swear – this post is about how to make a fresh, delicious, refreshing drink.



But first, I must explain how it came to be.

(The Peaks of Genius can’t be reached without first crossing through The Valleys of Ghastliness, after all.)

That fortnight of difficulty we were having? Is turning into a trinight, and threatening a quaternight….err, month.

Turns out, Noah’s ear infection was caused by a dreadfully contagious CDC-Quarantine-Worthy Virus.

On Tuesday, I put this graphic on Facebook to explain our family’s current state.

Neverending Sickness

However, it was grossly inaccurate.

Now, a few more days wiser as to the ways of this Life-Sucking Disease, I can draw a better depiction of the state of our household.


So.  There’s that.  And then there was an extreme overstock of Cuties.

When it comes to food, one thing my kids are good at is getting on a kick.

And one thing they’re absolutely excellent at is spontaneously getting off of that kick.

(One day you’re in, and the next day you’re out.)

Chris loves a good Sam’s shopping trip, so if I forget to update him on these shifting nutritional winds, we can easily end up with a bulk supply of something that they are refusing to eat.

Sometime pre-plague, Noah went from eating about five Mandarin Oranges a day to refusing to eat even half a slice.  The fortnight of insanity greatly diminished opportunities for communication on trivial matters such as these, which resulted in a Sam’s-sized bag of destined-to-rot Cuties.

My Day One of The Plague started Saturday night, so I found myself desperately wanting something refreshingly and healingly frozen on my sore throat.

I love a good Orange Julius, especially when I’m sick, so I scoured the freezer for Orange Juice concentrate – no luck.

Then Chris reminded me of his gigantic Cutie purchase.  What could be better than a fresh Orange Julius?


And he was right.  It was Complete Perfection.


Two nights later, the Cutie supply had completely disappeared.

Even if the kids were still eating Cuties, I’d steal them in a heartbeat to make another one of these.

So here’s the recipe – 5 easy ingredients that I bet you have right now (unless your kids are on a Cutie strike and you actually remembered to tell your husband):

8 Cuties
1/3 c Sugar
1/2 c Milk (I used skim)
1 tbsp Vanilla (yes, a TABLEspoon – I like a good jolt of vanilla in my frozen drinks.)

Because I value laziness over efficiency, I chose to use just one kitchen appliance to do the whole operation: My Ninja.

(Sure, I could have pulled out my juicer to do the first half, but then I would have had two bladed contraptions to clean, which would all but guarantee a finger gash of some sort.)

First, I pulverized the Cuties.


Then I drained them, using a spoon to mash the pulp and encourage every last drop of actual juice to drip through.


(For reference if you prefer to do this some other way or to just buy the dang juice, this produced 1.5 cups of Mandarin Orange juice.)

While the juice drained, I filled the Ninja with ice (up to the 1 Liter mark) and crushed it mercilessly until it wished it had become a cloud instead of an ice cube.  I then added the sugar, vanilla, milk, and orange juice to the ice and Ninja’ed it some more, producing 50 ounces of Sore Throat Healing Powers:


I topped it off with just a tad of frozen Cool Whip (also a very important medicinal item for those with sore throats) and drank more than I should have.


For fellow calorie counters, I did the math, and despite the sugar, this is actually quite low-cal.

However, I’m a staunch believer in not oversharing caloric information, because I know the ruining effects of that sort of information if you’re not currently counting.

So if you actually do want to know the calories, you’ll have to solve this equation:

( (278 x 32) / 2 ) + y = 4603

y = number of calories in a 16 ounce serving

…or, if you’re like me and value laziness over efficiency, just leave a comment asking for the calorie count.

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18 thoughts on “Cuties Julius.

  1. I’m sorry you are all so sick. Hope everyone gets well and stays well FAST!

    Oh, and according to my calculations it’s 155. Not bad for a delicious drink. :)

      1. Ha – sorry for the math problem!!

        I just had one too many wonderful treats ruined for me before I was counting calories… I know the devastating blow that occurs when you find out the calories of something you love. Therefore, I’ve set a blanket “no-oversharing” rule

        1. Yeah, I understand, I still try to ignore the calorie count of some of my favorite desserts. Ha. Looking at the math problem took me back to the good ol’ days of 8th grade algebra. If I could manage to track down a pen and paper I might have tried to solve it…but alas, no such thing is easily accessible in my house.

  2. Get well soon! And I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one with a kid absolutely has to have something right then because she loves it soooo much but then, randomly, doesn’t eat it. Which is why I just had Cheetos at 9 am.

    1. See, but Cheetos keep until they get on a kick again. Therefore, I can clearly conclude that you had Cheetos at 9 am because you wanted Cheetos at 9 am. ;)

  3. I’m attempting to post from my phone instead of saving your posts in my google reader to reply once I get my electric laptop out (I have my baby laptop currently. Similar to my feline laptop in that it doesn’t share space with the electric one.). Sorry you’re still sick! I (mistakingly) thought you were better after seeing the first graph. I totally understand the food abundance as Nathan sweetly made fun of me for doing that while I was pregnant. Does your cutie orange julius taste like the Fred Flintstone push pops? I remember loving those when I was a kid!

    1. I have very weird visual images of a baby laptop and feline laptop, but I think I know what you mean. :)

      Yes, Cutie Juliuses do taste like Push Pops, but much less preservativey!!

  4. So sorry you guys are still so sick! Today was the first morning I’ve woken up feeling like a human again. It’s amazing how quickly one is able to sink into the depths of despair after feeling horrible for several days in a row. Makes me realize just how much I take good health for granted!

    Your cutie julius looks delicious! But since we don’t have such a think as cuties I definitely don’t have the ingredients on hand. :) I’d have to use oranges since I don’t like mandarin oranges. We are just starting to get into the smoothie movement. I guess I’d just never had any that weren’t really tart and I’m not a huge dessert/ice cream fan anyway so I’ve never made much effort. I’m thinking about getting a Ninja since we are using the $10 Target blender we got for our wedding and after just a few minutes of blending is starts to smell really hot and sounds like it’s about to blast off. Definitely not going to last long. :)

  5. Oh, wow! I have a bag of Cuties just waiting to be pulverized (and Della has gone on a bit of a strike recently, so this will work well).

    Oh, and 155 calories (yes, I did my own math…after all, I was home-schooled) for all that goodness ain’t bad at all. I think I know what I’m having in the morning! : )

    P.S. I really hope you get to feeling better soon. Like really. Being sick AND having sick kids is the absolute worst, especially when it lingers. Praying for ya, girl.

    1. I swapped to skim from 2% when we started using Lose It, and I haven’t noticed a difference! Granted, I only drink it with cereal, so that could be why…

  6. I love math! Is it sad that I was excited to see a math problem that involved multiplication, division, and algebra? I immediately grabbed a pen and paper. I love that you actually thought of the math problem. Those look so good. Now reading your blog is making me want food…lucky charms, smoothies.

    1. That’s great! For just you and Carlos, or did you share with the kids? I remember it being one of my favorite childhood treats, but I kinda like to save it for late nights now. Selfish? A little.

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