Hi there – Noah here.  The servant that calls herself “Mommy” told me that I had a lot of fans from my last post, so I decided to guest blog for her again.  Plus, both servants ditched me at the Grandparents for the first time and fled town to one of Mommy’s favorite places for the weekend, and even though I wasn’t around to consume her every waking second, she still couldn’t find the time to blog.

I wonder what they were doing all that time…

Anyway.  In my last post, I wrote my Memoirs.  So today, I want to write about my future.  I have aspirations for my life, and I’m not just going to lay around and let life pass me by, even if I don’t know how to sit up quite yet!

I want to go to Hollywood.

No, not just because I’ve been watching American Idol with the servants.  Besides – that guy with the big lips kinda scares me – especially since the Mommy Servant told me that would happen to my lips if I ate too slow.

I guess that’s how his lips got that way.

Anyway.  Hollywood.  I want to be an actor.

And so, I’ve been working on my auditioning skills.

First, I started with simple characters…

Such as…an old, beer-bellied Italian Grandfather giving a long-winded speech to his glazed-over grandchild:


A cheering football fan, slightly wild-eyed-passionate-for-my-team, but not quite to the killing-trees state of “fandom”:

(The Daddy Servant wouldn’t be too happy at the colors I wore while practicing that character.  Don’t tell him, mmkay?)

That annoying student that there’s one of in every class – the one who can’t help but have a comment on every single stinkin’ thing the teacher has to say:


The frustrated boss that’s about to blow:

And the traumatized employee on which the boss blows up.


After perfecting those AWESOME characters, I wanted to show how talented I am at impressions – to prove that I can handle just about any role that Hollywood would allow me to play…you know, in case they decide to hire me and that E-Trade baby to remake some old films.

Mister T:

(The Mommy Servant wouldn’t buy me any gold chains – she said it wasn’t in my auditioning budget.  Ri-DICULOUS.)

Chloe from 24, with that characteristic “something smells” look on her face:


(I think something DID smell in that audition clip…)

Romeo, speaking up to Juliet on her balcony:

(That audition can also double as President Obama during a rousing speech.  Man I’d love to play him in his Memoir Movie one day, but the Mommy Servant said something about me not having the right genetics…whatever that means.)

Jason Bourne, recklessly driving a small European sports car through the streets of Paris:


Jackie Chan, in every movie he’s ever been in:

I worked the hardest on Harry Potter.  I wanted to show my ability to act out an entire Harry Potter Scene, one-baby-style.  And it’s pure magic, I tell ya…

Professor Snape, casting an Expelliarmus!!


Harry, blocking the spell!!


Harry, fighting back with Confundo!!


Snape, becoming confused and befuddled after Harry’s Confundo spell!


Hermione, scolding Harry with great disapproval for fighting with a Professor!


Ron, looking a bit shocked and confused over the whole thing!


And finally, Dumbledore, wand drawn, arrives to break up the fight!


– Oh wait – I’m getting a call from my agent…


“Good work, son.  Impressive acting skills.  But if you want to be an A-Lister, you’ve gotta be able to put on a million dollar smile with which to charm all the ladies.  Do ya have it in you?”

Oh yeah…I can make Justin Bieber look like Gary Busey when he’s compared to me!!  Sending over my head shots now…


“You’ve got yourself quite a future, son.  And I’m especially glad to see you grew some eyebrows.  But if you really want to show up Bieber, you might want to consider some bangs.”

Maybe if I push hard enough…



Um, no bangs came out, but does anyone happen to have a fresh diaper?

26 thoughts on “Hollywood.

  1. He is so stinkin cute! In the last grouping of photos, he has the same face as his sister….that closed lip smile…please tell me that I’m not the only one who sees that.

    1. Thanks!! I’m starting to see their resemblances. I’ve always thought he looked just like her baby pics, but it was hard to see how he looked like her now. but I can see it more every day!! :)

  2. What a great post Noah! Love love love your tramatized employee and all the other ones are great too. You are definitely the next big thing!!! :)

  3. Oh, my goodness! He is so stinkin adorable! I have to say – he has much more talent than most in Hollywood now :)

  4. What a great post. Loved all of the audition photos. Noah, you might just have a career in hollywood. You are awfully cute. I haven’t smiled this much all week.

  5. Precious, precious, precious!! I hope your trip was wonderful and relaxing! Noah has got the Bieber beat by a mile! Lock up your daughters everyone!!!

  6. I love the Noah blogs. It looks as if he has practiced well for each of his parts and is very flexible as to who he is playing. Looking forward to your next blog Noah.

  7. LOVE.
    Simply. Love them.
    Especially the harry potter part.. and the erupting bangs.
    And the Jackie Chan.. and the …
    Well all of it.
    Loved it!!

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