4. The following conversation with Ali: “Mommy, you know what really disappoints me about the new Tinkerbell movie?” “No. What?” “Well, the other fairies – Fawn and Rosetta and all – call Periwinkle Periwinkle before they even know her name.” “Oh. That is a serious continuity issue!” “I know. It really bothers me.” (I have […]
Talk to Your Doctor about CRS.
Noah has hit the Continual Repeat Stage (also known as CRS.) CRS is a dangerous stage in a mother’s life, as it can be a detriment to the continuation of her sanity if not responded to in a calculated manner. CRS is most obviously exhibited by a request repeated continuously, with no break for response, […]
Welcome to America, Season Three.
The long-awaited time has come. Downton Abbey Season Three starts in America on Sunday. Or, if you’re like me and have been pretending to be British, Season Three just ended. But no worries – I will offer no spoilers. I won’t even update my graphic until you’re caught up – because I’m nice like that. […]
The Origins of the WWE.
I’ve never understood wrestling. Why grown men enjoy watching other grown men sling each other around and place each other into questionably intense positions has always been beyond me. However, now that I have a son, I think I might understand. It’s because wrestling reminds them of their mother. Call it good memories. Call it […]
The Holiday Gift Guide You’ve Been Waiting For.
According to my inbox folder that is labeled “marketing pitches” (which oftentimes shares real estate with the one labeled “trash”), all bloggers are apparently expected – nay, required – to publish a “Holiday Gift Guide.” And since I never want to shirk my responsibilities to you, my dear readers, I decided that I better compile […]
Word to My Mother. {An Apology}
Dear Mom, Sometimes I write long and wordy blog posts, taking much care to define things, link to explanations, or otherwise clarify references for those that might not understand. But most of the time, I go with subtlety, assuming that my reading audience will pick up on my references and find them more amusing if […]
Can’t Buy Me Love.
My bank may put a freeze on my accounts for reposting this, but I just HAVE to. Because Chris got a personalized thank you note in the mail last week. From a female teller. Thanking him for his business. Fortunately for me, when I originally posted this, my commenters informed me of these elusive collectible […]
On Taxing the Colonists.
I offer many public services to my children. If you get down to it, we’re basically a communist nation around here. They do what I tell them to do, and then I choose what to pay them. I provide the food, the transportation, the rules, the housing, and even the clothing. (Although I at times […]
One Day I’ll Have to Explain Myself.
The Date: June 22, 2023. Ali, sixteen years old and going through quite the sensitive stage, sits down with a huff. She reaches into mid-air, and with a flick of her index finger, turns off her Projected-In-Mid-Air Computer (PIMAC), and then glares at me. I look up from my automated knitting needles with a questioning […]
Telling Jennifer Holliday Surprising News.
All photos taken from one performance during the finale of American Idol. If you fast-forwarded through it, you really missed out. Hey, um, Jennifer? You do realize that Paula isn’t on the show anymore, right? And I think she wants her hair back. Oh – and the 1994 Mother of the Bride that you ripped […]