Job History: January 2007 – Acquired first subject, female, a screamer. Survived eight months of aural infliction, finding my groove somewhere in late 2007. December 2010 – Added a secondary subject, male, a epidural killer. Birthing him hacked five years off the end of my life, but I chose perseverance. Education: None. Or at […]
The Zulily Digest.
STOP READING THIS POST. As much as I adore you all ingesting what I have to say, I cannot with good conscience allow you to read any further before you log onto Zulily and buy something specific. RIGHT NOW. Because almost every day I get an email from a reader. “Pardon me, Rachel, but do […]
Baby Got Pad.
There is really nothing I adore more than watch people awkwardly record important moments with iPads. Especially in large crowds of people where their ‘pad completely blocks the view of the people around them and they’re likely to give their neighbor a black eye if they get too excited. Or two. And, much akin to […]
Have a Happy Vasectomy.
Disclaimer: My husband and I created this post to be a public service for the world. However, you know the topic of this post, so if you feel it might offend you, feel free to move along. Otherwise, read at your own risk. 1. Pay no attention to the hobbling, saddle-sore gentleman leaving the […]
75 Ways to Get Guilted on Facebook.
This list started months ago as a text vomit stream between my friend Ashley and me. And we decided that the world should be allowed into our heads. How can Facebook give you a Guilt Trip? Let us count the ways. 1. By buying organic. It’s too expensive and you’re selfishly robbing money for your […]
iParents.
My Mom and Dad got their first iPhones. Obviously, this came as a serious shock to the entire family. We are just so accustomed to Dad calling from the car when he needs an address, (“Are you near a computer?” // “No Dad, but I have my iPhone…”) and Mom sending depressed texts, (“Mom! I’m […]
Monogramitis: a primer on Pinterexia Nervosa’s dangerous Southern strain
After I wrote about Pinterexia Nervosa a few weeks ago, people began contacting me to make sure I realized all of the different forms and debilitating symptoms associated with Pinterexia. This guest post is by Julie Bunkley, a wedding planner from Auburn, who felt that there needed to be a specific focus on one particular […]
An Ode to The Duke.
Disclaimer: Not for the Ladylike of Heart. I’ve been feeling a small measure of guilt recently about our non-existent household rules about “potty-talk.” Perhaps these rules don’t exist because our children are more polite than us. For instance, I might have been heard singing the song, “We wish you a Merry Pooping, We wish you […]
Pinterexia Nervosa: A Diagnostic Guide.
Pinterexia Nervosa is a body/home image disorder in which people have an intense anxiety over ensuring that their life is completely pinnable at any moment. This disease is most often diagnosed in women and most prevalent post-childbirth, as the quantity of contractible symptoms grow when children are involved. What are the Symptoms of Pinterexia Nervosa? […]