As mentioned, I was in Mississippi last Saturday, which means that Chris had the kids on his own. The only reason this worked was that Alabama was playing an away game, so he only had to figure out how to properly watch the game on television while singlehandedly raising our offspring in a proper manner. […]
The Power of Restraint.
There are certain unwritten rules of our parenting. We all have them. Yours might not be the same as ours, but you definitely have them. Such as, No caffeine for babies. (Except for small, unavoidable doses of coffee.) Limited sugar intake. No poorly applied tattoos – just the good stuff. And no baby leashes. You’ve […]
Home Alone: The Review.
So Chris went to Dallas last weekend for the Alabama/Michigan game. (I know, right?? Why do Alabama and Michigan need to meet in TEXAS?? And men say that women are the illogical ones…) He was gone the entire long weekend – from Friday morning to Monday afternoon. Which, if anyone’s counting, is four days and […]
A Letter to My Dentist.
Dear Dr. Jayme, Thank you for taking care of my constantly-deteriorating oral situation. You’ve done an excellent job, despite the fact that all of my teeth were rotting out before I met you. I just wanted you to know that I’m really trying to prevent the spread of my horrible oral issues to my children. […]
When Delightfully Abnormal Goes Awry.
I don’t know how you Moms with regular kids do it. And I don’t know how I’m going to do it, since I am certain that I will most definitely be awarded with my second kid being quite regular. Or perhaps even extra-regular. With regards to the frequency of pee. My kid is a camel, […]
Ten Tips for Vacation Rental Owners.
1. Do not decorate your rental condo with fake fruit. Because if you do, your renter’s kids will do this. All day, Every day. And their parents might or might not remember to run them through the dishwasher before they leave. (The fruit, that is.) 2. Even if you typically have short-term renters, do not […]
Parenting and the Art of SpellTalk.
Originally Posted March 7, 2010. SpellTalk (n): A language that parents use to hide the most important parts of conversations from their kids. Unfortunately, kids eventually learn this language so that they can spy on their parents, so parents must find a new and original way to secretively communicate. When do you use SpellTalk? 1. […]
Grounded For Life.
This kid is grounded. Consider these symptoms: For our entire vacation last week, he walked around with his finger jammed in his right ear. …Or if he wasn’t doing that, he was shaking his head out to the right, as if he was desperately trying to knock loose a gallon of water from within the […]
Blowoutfits.
Originally Published April 8, 2009. Nobody likes dealing with a blowout. (let me take a minute to define – “Blowout: bloe-out v. – an infant or toddler’s poop that exceeds their diaper in such a way as to leach out onto EVERY item of clothing that they are wearing, along with whatever they are sitting […]
Green With Mystery.
Things have been very amiss around here this week. Food disappearing and/or being spread around the house in the form of sticky crumbs… Stuff being mysteriously moved around and hidden deeply in toy boxes… Messes and chaos overwhelming the house until the house itself cannot even be seen… One might conclude that this is due […]