Originally Published April 8, 2009.

Nobody likes dealing with a blowout.

(let me take a minute to define – “Blowout: bloe-out v. – an infant or toddler’s poop that exceeds their diaper in such a way as to leach out onto EVERY item of clothing that they are wearing, along with whatever they are sitting on and eating at the time of blow. Example of such cited here”)

But after cleaning up the current mess and moving on with life, there’s always the issue of the clothing affected.

That horrible, horrible mess that is the blowoutfit.

HOPEFULLY it was just the child’s clothing and not yours as well, but, whether immediately or later (if you’re not home), it must be dealt with.

I thought that Ali was out of this stage until a couple of Sundays ago when we picked Ali up from Sunday School. I picked her up to give her a hug, and immediately noticed something missing.

“Where are her bloomers??”

Chris dug around in her diaper bag and found them in one of the dreaded produce bags that are used at our church to seal toxic waste.

But that’s not what I’m here to tell you about. HERE’S the real story:

Sometime last summer, Ali was wearing an outfit that happened to be Chris’ favorite. It was pink camo – a Daddy sort of outfit. (The picture is of the outfit, but not the day it happened. It’s just for your visual reference.)

I don’t remember all of the details, but I know that we were on a trip somewhere. Anyway, she had one of the aforementioned blowouts.

It significantly compromised both the shorts and the shirt.

Nasty bad.




Since we were out of town and not somewhere where I could immediately clean them, I put them in a Gallon Ziploc bag that I had on hand for such an occasion, and sealed it up.

We got home, and as I was unpacking, I was reminded of her issue when I found the lucky bag.

It was late, I was tired from a long trip home, and the last thing I wanted to do was to open up that bag, now looking especially appetizing what with the stinky steam fogging up the inside of it, and clean up that now settled-in-to-stay toxic poo mess.

But I knew how much her Daddy liked her to wear that outfit, so I didn’t just throw it out, even though the temptation was high.

I set it on top of the washer and vowed to deal with it the next day.

However, sometime between that moment and “Tomorrow is another day”, the bag managed to slip down in between some things in the laundry room. And since it wasn’t exactly something that I was looking forward to making a happy memory while doing, I forgot all about it.

Fast forward from last year to LAST WEEK.

I was getting our beach towels out of the laundry room to get ready for our trip, and lo and behold, what was underneath those beach towels?

A Ziploc bag.

And, although the pink camo was in and of itself completely camouflaged by spotted mold, hairy mold, brown mold, black mold, and green mold, my mind immediately knew what it was.


Now at this point I would normally have a grotesquely nauseating picture of the VERY SEALED Ziploc bag for you.

However, in my haste to destroy the evidence and REMOVE THAT EVIL THING FROM MY SIGHT, I threw it away before my blog-instincts kicked in.

I haven’t admitted my trespasses to Chris yet, although I have been keeping an eye out for a new Pink Camo outfit.

No luck.

Let me know if you see one. Size 2T 6. And preferably NOT covered in mold or poo, or moldy poo.

14 thoughts on “Blowoutfits.

  1. I have to say, the absolute best thing about using cloth diapers is no blow-outs! She has done her worst, but that elastic just keeps it in there. Thank goodness. We have definitely had them with disposables. Though, now that I do poopy laundry every three days, a poopy outfit doesn’t bother me too much. :) Though, I also don’t care if her diapers get stained since no one sees them. I would be super sad if one of her cute outfits got poop-stained.

    A year though? That’s epically gross. I totally see me doing that!

    1. It was fantastically gross. Now that it’s been a couple of years and my inner self has gotten over the disgust, I REALLY wish I’d taken a picture.

  2. That does beat all! And, AJ has that same outfit, but its even getting too small for her. I will think of you every time I see it!

  3. You make me laugh with your very descriptive details. That sure beats anything that ever happened when my girls were small. One for the record books.

  4. Oh my god, that is so disgusting, Rachel! We (miraculously) only ever had one really nasty blowout; it was Beege.

    She was about 9 months old, and we were out in the middle of nowhere at some stained glass studio that my mum wanted to go to. We were strolling around this very peaceful, picturesque place, when all of a sudden… nuclear explosion. I swear, the birds were startled out of the trees. I took her out to the car (because the place didn’t even have a bathroom) and checked out the damage. She was wearing white. There was poop up to her neck and down to her ankles. I had to wipe the poor girl up with wet wipes out in the cold, while she screamed her head off. (And I don’t blame her – I hope that I am never poop covered and naked in a cold breeze.)

    I threw it out. Without a thought.

    This incident is why Kee has never even owned anything white.

    1. Thanks! Unfortunately, now that Ali’s older and pickier, I’m afraid she’d argue that it was a “boy print”. I quite ruined Chris’ only chance to wrestle his daughter into camo. Good thing I’ve produced for him a boy since then…

  5. LOLOL!!!! I love that you admitted that it got lost! I feel like the worst mom when I find stuff like that. I found a bottle that had rolled under the car seat- it had been there a few months- just had to throw it away! So gross!

    1. Oooooh…the solid milk bottles. Yes, I find those as well, although we’re on to solid milk sippy cups now, which are much more plentiful, since Noah is quite mobile and loves hiding them. In fact, there’s been a sippy cup MIA for about four weeks now – I’m dreading finding it.

  6. I spent a long time with my first child trying to copy the photo you have there. Either I’m a failure or my kid is but it didn’t work. Anyway, that is a marvelous picture.

    1. Thanks! It was complete and utter luck. We were at my Dad’s mechanic shop one day (of all places) and I have no idea why, but they had huge mirrors on the dirty floor. Ali wanted to play on them, and despite the terrible lighting and the dirty surroundings, I somehow lucked into that photo. It’s always been one of my favorites, too, and I seriously doubt I could ever reenact it either.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *