Dear Dr. Jayme,

Thank you for taking care of my constantly-deteriorating oral situation.  You’ve done an excellent job, despite the fact that all of my teeth were rotting out before I met you.

I just wanted you to know that I’m really trying to prevent the spread of my horrible oral issues to my children.  I’m taking your advice to heart – “make sure they don’t have too many sweets and that they brush often.”

See here, as my toddler brushes his teeth.




And all day long,


Without stopping.


He never lets his three C’s out of his sight: Cars, Cookies, and Clean Teeth.


Even during baking!


Okay, granted, you probably wouldn’t be too pleased with the fact that I’m allowing my children to make (and eat copious amounts of) Soft Butter Mints, which, among it’s ingredients, boasts of two pounds of powdered sugar.

But please understand – it was a reward for Ali reading three books, and reading doesn’t come easily around here.  Surely literary proficiency is worth a little oral decay every now and then!  Right?

And still, the fact that my child never loosened his grip on his toothbrush – I’m certain that he offset his sugar intake with proper and thorough brushing.


I mean, look!  Retrieving the excess batter with one hand, but ready for oral cleansing with the other!


What’s that?  Did he discover that his toothbrush was the perfect utensil for wiping up the spilled powdered sugar?

Yes, yes he did.


Oh – and you want to know if he brushed with said sugar?

Yes, yes he did.



…But he was very helpful in making sure that every last bit of the mess was cleaned up…


and surely a habit of cleanliness is worth a little bit of oral decay.  Right?

I’ll start his dental savings account now.


The World’s Worst Mom.

15 thoughts on “A Letter to My Dentist.

  1. I have to forcibly remove Landon’s toothbrush from his grip every night… maybe it’s a toddler teething ring kinda thing?

  2. I had a nightmare the other night that the doctor informed me that I had two weeks to prepare my son before they had to pull out all his teeth. The dream continued on to the actual pulling, complete with blood and shrieking. I was so glad to wake up! He’s at the stage where he doesn’t want to let me help brush his teeth (I guess it’s an assault to his toddler dignity and must be resisted with every ounce of his being), but all he does is suck on the tooth brush. I can get in there once a day or so with a washcloth on my finger, and we are trying to limit sugar, but still… I’ll be glad when he gets to a point where he is more reasonable about accepting help or can actually do a decent job himself. Hopefully one or both will happen soon for the sake of his teeth and my slumber!

  3. Ha ha ha, I love your blog! It always manages to make me laugh. :) I also have horrible teeth, but I just hate the dentist so much. It’s a conflict of feelings.

    1. Thanks so much! I actually go to a friend for my dentisting – which makes the shape of my teeth a bit more embarrassing, but fortunately, she’s very graceful about it.

  4. I think you are amazing! I have the hardest time letting me kids do anything in the kitchen. Last night I tried to do “family taco night” without daddy here to help. I almost flipped which would have completely defeated the whole “have kids help in the kitchen for a fun learning/bonding experience” thing. We may have eaten extra long green onions and our olives may have been smashed rather than cut but we got through it. And I think we’ll DEFINITELY be waiting for daddy next time!

  5. That is so funny that he likes toothbrushes so much! K used to do that too until she dove onto our bed one day with the toothbrush in her mouth and it jammed into the back of her throat. I wouldn’t let her have them after that. :{

    I haven’t been to the dentist in two years and I have a tooth that is starting to bother me, but I hate hate hate the dentist. I’m having a hard time convincing myself to go back. I am seriously considering those ones that put you all the way to sleep. The laughing gas helps me while I’m there but makes me feel sick the rest of the day. I don’t even want to think about going back!!!

  6. My 2 year old does the same thing. He’s obsessed with brushing his teeth. We joke that he will be our dentist. He screams every night when we make him put them in the toothbrush holder. Funny.

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