We went on a walk Tuesday night in our suburban neighborhood. As we were coming down a hill about a block from home, Ali suddenly stopped walking and silently stared at the ground in front of her. A snake! (That exclamation point was in excitement, not fear.) I happen to be completely fascinated by snakes. […]
Parenting 101: Little Ears have Big Memories.
With an innocent, offhanded little voice, she asked… “Hey, Daddy?” “Yes Baby?” “Why does Mommy say that it’s not nice for Noah to stare at women’s chests?” Chris falls on the floor and dies. Later that night, after his miraculous recovery,he remembers the cursed conversation with his daughter (although he blocked out his stuttered response […]
Houdin-O-Baby.
Noah has many talents besides his acting skills… such as his ability to strangle a beast of a bear one-handed… and (almost) shove his whole fist into his mouth… But his most impressive talent thus far is his ability to escape impossible situations. I put him to bed every night like this: Okay. Maybe not […]
Scoff, All Ye Northerners.
I drove in my first snow storm yesterday. Yes!! It was a snow storm!! As in, snow was blowing from the skies!! And some of it was even sticking to the ground! And the more bizarre part was, it was TOTALLY unexpected. Which, I thought, was impossible in Alabama. You see, when there’s even a […]
Who Needs Imaginary Friends to do Your Dirty Work?
One of the first questions that everyone has asked me about our transition-to-two-kids is, “So how is Ali taking it?” And, since Future-15-Year-Old-Ali is feeling pretty indignant and forgotten due to my lack of blogging-record of her life lately (thanks to an influx of posts about pregnancy and childbirth), I figured it was time to […]
Awkward Starts Early.
All of us have multiple awkward stages in our lives. (At least I think we do – if you’ve been the perfect Barbie-Cheerleader all your life, well, I hate you lucky you.) But the rest of us … have had at least a couple. I certainly had a few myself… Some brought on by my […]
The Difference Between Boys and Girls.
Really, it should have a slogan. “Circumcision: Making newborn boys hate diaper changes since Genesis 17.” It was the part of having a boy that I least looked forward to. As if new babies aren’t shocked enough by their entrance into the outside world, let’s REALLY give them something to be shocked about! Now granted, […]
He Doesn’t Believe in Silent Nights.
Wanted: Baby mattress with faux-flesh sheets, warms to a constant 98.6 degrees, has a built-in noisemaker that simulates a heartbeat and the occasional tummy gurgle (and maybe a snore or two), and has two built-in, conically shaped pillows that produce life sustaining milk when requested by the occupant. …Because I’m pretty sure that’s the only […]
Guess Noah’s Landing!
What’s the fun in the unexpectedness of a baby arrival without a good, legal “guessing” pool to go with it? Especially since we have long-standing family tradition over here of letting our children be involved in gambling activities. (Waiting for the State Bingo Lynch Mob to knock down my door and raid my house and […]
Reverse Child Abuse: A Plight Ignored.
Every parent suffers abuse from their child on a weekly, if not daily, and sometimes hourly (depending on the child or number of children involved in inflicting said abuse) basis. This plight goes far too unnoticed. It’s time that someone took a stand for Reverse-Child-Abuse and brought those issues to the forefront. Besides the constant […]