Wanted: Baby mattress with faux-flesh sheets, warms to a constant 98.6 degrees, has a built-in noisemaker that simulates a heartbeat and the occasional tummy gurgle (and maybe a snore or two), and has two built-in, conically shaped pillows that produce life sustaining milk when requested by the occupant.

…Because I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing that’s gonna make this kid sleep in his own bed.


Good thing he’s so unbelievably cute.

If that item isn’t available, I’m also interested in purchasing an As Seen In Hospitals call-a-nurse-who-will-come-take-your-baby-to-a-magically-faraway-nursery-so-you-can-rest button.

This blog post was composed at 2:58am, on Night One at home, with one hand, on an iPhone, before any sleep occurred for anyone but Ali.  Luckily, the night (marginally) improved after that point.  Although he may have won a battle or two, I won the war.

12 thoughts on “He Doesn’t Believe in Silent Nights.

  1. What? No sitting in the living room with your soft, comfy robe, looking all Madonna-like (the virgin, not the singer), baby blissfully sleeping in your arms, and then your husband comes up to you and hands you a jewelry box from Kay Jewelers? Darn lying commercials…..

  2. “Some baby boys just love their Mama.” That’s what the nurse told us when we asked about getting W to nap on his own. W learned to sleep in his crib at night, but naps were on me until he was 9 months (we had a good carrier).

  3. Good thing you don’t have to worry about “spoiling” him for another several months. But, what do I know??? I’m a co-sleeping Momma!!!

  4. I just can’t get over that picture! Can’t stop looking at it! I’m so excited for my own noise maker to arrive in April. It’s been fun to watch/read your journey. May you be blessed with many sleep filled nights soon.

  5. Also, one trick i learned with my girls was to take a shirt that I had worn (which at that stage of new-baby-no-showers I had some really strong mommy scented ones) and lay it in their crib for them to sleep on. It helped so much. They just needed that scent.

  6. Okay, he is way too cute for words! I 2nd Shiree’s comment and put one of your shirts in the crib with him. Also, you could try putting a heating pad in his crib, but remove it before you put him down. That way the crib is warm. Also, our son hated his bassinet, but once we started putting him in the crib, it was much easier. He still woke up to nurse throughout the night, but putting him back in his crib was easier.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *