He stinks. His lovely new baby smell lasted for exactly four months. And for the past month, he’s stank approximately 70% of the time. He somehow marinates in his own sweat every time he sleeps, and he wakes up smelling like an entire load mildewed laundry. And the smell doesn’t fade while he’s awake, either […]
The Ephod and A Godmother’s Magic.
This is what I promised my husband that Noah could wear for his baby dedication: And this is what my husband CHOSE for my son to wear for baby dedication: I’d like to give him the opportunity to explain himself. So I like to think that I’m a fairly easygoing, reasonable guy. I don’t […]
Cribs.
So Noah wrote this post over a month ago, and I just haven’t gotten around to posting it for him. He’s not too happy with me about that, complaining that a quarter of his life has gone by since then, and he looks nothing like he did back then. And really, he’s right. Now if […]
Pointless Parenting.
There are moments in every parent’s job that they wonder what good their efforts are producing. How any positive impact could possibly come from all of their hard work. …Trying to logically reason with a teenage girl, for instance. (Sorry, Mom.) …Or perhaps trying to convince a ridiculously cautious four year old to try something […]
Everything I Know About Photography.
If one desires to learn how to use their camerain a more proper manner, one must first bribe their subjects. For instance, suggest a fun morning of chalking up the sidewalk, with the slight caveat that the child must, every now and then, look up for a photograph with a marginally happy look on their […]
Attack of the Greeks.
Noah here. I’ve got a lot on my mind today, so The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy said I could use her blog to sort it all out. You see, Ali warned me about our Greek Heritage, and the resulting follicular fallout that has already attacked her. She said that it would likely ravage my […]
Parenting 101: Little Ears have Big Memories.
With an innocent, offhanded little voice, she asked… “Hey, Daddy?” “Yes Baby?” “Why does Mommy say that it’s not nice for Noah to stare at women’s chests?” Chris falls on the floor and dies. Later that night, after his miraculous recovery,he remembers the cursed conversation with his daughter (although he blocked out his stuttered response […]
If I Were The President…
If I Were The President of Graco, all infant car seats would come with attaching PopeMobile-style glass cubes – So that if a baby wanted to hear himself cry on every single stinkin’ car ride, he could feel completely free to do so – without subjecting the rest of his family to his lung’s capacities. […]
Covert Lactational Medication Operations.
Caution: Not for the faint of heart. Or men. Or DEA Officers. I’ve been in a state of utter nursing panic. …a panic which I absolutely promised myself that I would not allow myself to experience this time around. I’d been doing so well… even when, at three months in, I knew I wasn’t making […]
Hopefully When They Arrive, They’ll Be Better Than Mine…
Waiting for teeth to come in can sometimes feel like waiting to go into labor. Not that I look FORWARD to my babies getting teeth. (Um, ouch.) But it’s hard not to read into every new baby development and think “that’s GOTTA be due to teeth.” (Unlike labor, though – there’s nothing to do but […]