I’ve got a lot on my mind today, so The Servant Who Calls Herself Mommy said I could use her blog to sort it all out.
You see, Ali warned me about our Greek Heritage, and the resulting follicular fallout that has already attacked her. She said that it would likely ravage my charming good looks as well.
But I had NO IDEA how quickly that would happen.
I’d heard that my Uncles had to start shaving before they turned 13, but this is RIDICULOUS.
But I’m trying to look at the bright side of this insane attack of my genes – at least it will give me more credibility on my Hollywood Auditions.
For instance, I hear there’s an opera movie that they’re auditioning for…
And my lazy-old-man-snoring-through-the-NASCAR-race character is SO much more believable now.
I’d love to play a grumpy food critic…
And I definitely think I have a better shot at devious villain roles with this nasty growth on my face.
Plus, now that Burt Reynolds is too old to pull off a ‘stache of this voracity, I’m pretty sure I could steal some roles from him.
But the role I’m most excited about is the one every boy dreams of…