So. You remember those crafting support letters that Ali sent out? Well, before I found out about them and had time to text everyone an apology and assure them that they didn’t need to send craft supplies to my beggar daughter, my Mom, who never sees any bad in anyone, had already interpreted the letter […]
Swimming Onset Insanity.
A week ago from tonight, I found myself losing my mind in the shallow end of a pool. Questioning my ability to be a parent, and doubting my purpose in life. What had led to this travesty? How could my life be so complicated when standing in a swimming pool? Let’s go in reverse order. […]
Support Your Local Crafter.
Ali gets a $5 allowance every week. She has a nifty little bank in which she divides it carefully between “Bank”, “Store”, and “Church”. She supposedly gets this allowance every Monday, but I’ve been known to forget for months in a row (and she’s been known to let me), so that when I do pay […]
The Final Fix.
And so it came to pass that it was her time to spend 184 Days in the prison of flood recovery. She prayed three times for this thorn to be taken from her flesh, as it grieved her soul greatly. But finally, the end was at hand. From the dark day in November when my […]
The Outtake.
Just because I have a vision, a dream, a calling even, to visit fifty new restaurants this year, does not mean that my children have the same sense of seriousness and urgency regarding this ever-important quest. And as such, they might, in their own unintentional (or perhaps not) way, occasionally hijack the process. One such […]
The Complete Saga of Sam the Cat.
Last Friday evening, as the kids were getting ready for bed and I was addictively glued to CNN while the police were finally closing in on a stowaway in a boat in someone’s backyard in Boston, Chris went down to our garage for a minute. In the process, he inadvertently created a stowaway situation of […]
While We Were Out.
Chris and I weren’t the only ones who vacationed for our anniversary. The kids went to my parents, and from the photos my Mom sent me, they relaxed in exactly the same manner that we did. I mean seriously. What the heck?? WHY DON’T MY CHILDREN STAY THAT STILL WHEN THEY’RE WITH ME?? I realize […]
Save Our Souls. And Our House.
MY DAUGHTER IS OUT TO KILL ME. Not the easy way, like, say, giving me poison-laced dark chocolate. I’d eat that. No. She is trying to chip away at my sanity, tiny piece by tiny piece, by casting off her previous overcautiousness and OCD sensibilities and taking on a new persona. The persona of Ali: […]
The Dark Underbelly of Toddlerhood.
IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE FCC: THIS POST IS RATED FOR INAPPROPRIATE YET CONTEXTUAL FOUL TODDLER LANGUAGE AND AN UNNECESSARILY HIGH NUMBER OF REFERENCES TO POO. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. There are things that you don’t want to know about last week. Those things have kept me from having the time to have original thought (and therefore […]
Postal Purgatory.
Hey there – I miss you guys. I mean, I’ve kind of been here, but really it’s just an illusion. I’ve not *really* been here. Where I’ve really been is staring at dozens of people’s butts, all day every day. And when I’m not doing that, I’m answering Facebook messages, tweets, emails, texts, and phone […]