Disclaimer: Not for the Ladylike of Heart. I’ve been feeling a small measure of guilt recently about our non-existent household rules about “potty-talk.” Perhaps these rules don’t exist because our children are more polite than us. For instance, I might have been heard singing the song, “We wish you a Merry Pooping, We wish you […]
We All, Like Sheep, Have Crafted Astray.
So. You remember those crafting support letters that Ali sent out? Well, before I found out about them and had time to text everyone an apology and assure them that they didn’t need to send craft supplies to my beggar daughter, my Mom, who never sees any bad in anyone, had already interpreted the letter […]
Swimming Onset Insanity.
A week ago from tonight, I found myself losing my mind in the shallow end of a pool. Questioning my ability to be a parent, and doubting my purpose in life. What had led to this travesty? How could my life be so complicated when standing in a swimming pool? Let’s go in reverse order. […]
As I Enter The Asylum,
this will be the last story that I ever tell. It all started a couple of weeks ago. I had promised to meet two friends at The Wish Collection to do some shopping. I was excited, because I hadn’t been back since my original score (and had been hearing about the beautiful finds that many […]
The Final Fix.
And so it came to pass that it was her time to spend 184 Days in the prison of flood recovery. She prayed three times for this thorn to be taken from her flesh, as it grieved her soul greatly. But finally, the end was at hand. From the dark day in November when my […]
The Outtake.
Just because I have a vision, a dream, a calling even, to visit fifty new restaurants this year, does not mean that my children have the same sense of seriousness and urgency regarding this ever-important quest. And as such, they might, in their own unintentional (or perhaps not) way, occasionally hijack the process. One such […]
The Complete Saga of Sam the Cat.
Last Friday evening, as the kids were getting ready for bed and I was addictively glued to CNN while the police were finally closing in on a stowaway in a boat in someone’s backyard in Boston, Chris went down to our garage for a minute. In the process, he inadvertently created a stowaway situation of […]
Hipsters: A Quest for Truth.
It always makes me feel old to admit that I don’t understand a cultural phenomenon. Whether it’s music, fashion, or pop culture (I’m talking to you, Ke$ha,) I worry that I’m out of vogue if I just can’t comprehend it. For quite some time now, I’ve felt that way about the title of “Hipster.” It’s […]
The Double Space and I.
I am an oversensitive perfectionist. Which, for any embryos out there who happen to be choosing the character traits with which they will be stuck for the next eighty years, is a really crappy combination. I still remember the fateful day in high school when someone pointed out that I said “Areenge” instead of “Orange.” […]
The Ugly Truth: Evolution of a Photo.
My current Twitter profile picture is breaking two of my most fundamental rules and core values of existence – or at least for the existence of my profile pictures. 1. It’s a Selfie. 2. I took it with my iPhone. Upon emptying my phone of it’s memories not too long ago, I found the discards […]